The "alternative" lifestyle

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Eric Perry, Apr 12, 2012.

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  1. Following some discussion in the "Tips to improve your marriage thread", I thought it was time to start an alternative lifestyle thread. I.e. swinging and the like. I'm curious what the TB members would like to share on the topic. *Most* of us here are adults and I think this could turn into a very interesting conversation, without it turning ugly, or inappropriate. Don't prove me wrong, fellas!

    For me, I've always had an interest in it. Since I started dating my fiance, we've talked about it several times, and have gotten pretty involved. We've met some singles and a few couples. For us (and all couples/people are different), it's actually improved our already very strong relationship. We have no jealousy issues whatsoever, and seeing each other with other people is actually very... ummm... stimulating for us. And no, we're not freaks at all. We are both highly educated professionals who are simply a lil more sexual than the average individual.

    What'cha all think? Any stories to share? Opinions, etc.? I'm genuinely curious to hear your input.
  2. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    I was curious as to how you were going to title this thread. Its break time, I'll chime in later.

    Oh, and Perry, yes, you guys are freaks! Admit it, lol!
  3. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    No thank you. It seems like a recipe for eventual disaster to me. Just my opinion, and I have no hard feelings for those who would disagree with me.

  4. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    More power to ya dude!

    I really don't think it would work for me and the missus...maybe another female involved would be sweet but I'm probably the biggest hypocrite in that I just couldn't deal well with her being with another guy.. so yeah, I'm totally ok with another woman but not with her being with another man. Like I said - hypocrite - but I'm just being honest.
  5. I've always been curious about it myself. It never really seemed strange to me I've just never known anyone involved in it. It'll be cool to see what folks have to say.
  6. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    It doesnt necessarily make you a hypocrite.
    There are a lot of couples out there where both partners are only interested in bringing another female into the mix.
  7. MadMan118


    Jan 10, 2008
    Vallejo, CA
    Personally its not my thing. I'm not getting on any soap box about what I really think about it. But if it works for you go for it. Maybe I just don't like sharing I dunno, but to me a sexual relation between two people is sacred to those two people, and not necessarily in a religious context.
  8. Thanks dude. I totally value your opinion and appreciate the input. I know I'm (we're?) clearly in the minority with actually enjoying seeing each other with other people, so I haror no ill feelings at all man! :)
  9. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    No problem dude! Do you guys ever get any twinges of jealousy or anything like that?
    In some ways I could see it being a very liberating thing if jealousy and such weren't an issue - that's where I would fail miserably. If you guys are cool with it, everything's in the open and at the end of the day you guys are committed only to each other emotionally, then that's not a bad thing at all IMO
  10. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    My ex and I never delved too deeply into the swinging scene, but we had our share of good times.
    We went to our first party more as a means to be exhibitionists. We started talking to some couples and at some point one thing lead to another and our wives were pawing at each other. (thats how I ended up banging a Ukranian Mail Order Bride)
    Good stuff! Before we actually got around to swapping partners we had a brief moment of 'uhhh how did this happen? are you okay with it? I am if you are" and then we went on to have a really good time.
    I never felt any jealousy, and like Perry, I got excited seeing my wife with another person.
    Later that night we ended up breaking the party hosts bed. That'll happen when you try to fit 8, or was 10, people in one bed. Its okay, the hosts were involved and we all laughed it off.
  11. Mike M.

    Mike M.

    Feb 14, 2010
    +1. About 4 years ago I was in a brief relationship with a woman....and something just didn't seem right to me. Had a strong gut feeling but couldn't quite figure out what so I bailed rather quick. Found out later she was bisexual.

    Hey, whatever works for you is fine by me. Each to thier own. But no thanks.
  12. Not at all actually. I'll be honest... Our first encounter was another guy joining us. We were both concerned about how we'd be after the fact. The morning after, we woke up, and there was maybe 3-4 seconds of feeling uncomfortable (waiting to see how the other felt, I guess), and after that, it was an entirely normal morning / day. It was weird, but in a really good way.
  13. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    This seems like a thinly veiled attempt at a Fassanova thread.
  14. Jared Lash

    Jared Lash Born under punches

    Aug 21, 2006
    Denver, CO
    The biggest issue that I've seen with couple's having an alternative lifestyle is that one person is into it more than the other.

    That is to say, one person wants more encounters, more partners, weirder stuff etc. This can lead to one partner feeling like they are being dragged into experiences they don't really want or stopping the other partner from having the sexual freedom they thought they had. The latter scenario can be compounded by that person then doing secretly what they used to do openly, crossing a line.

    The other common issue is jealousy. This usually arises when one partner wants the freedom to have sex with other people but hates the idea of their partner doing so. A simple double standard but I've known people that went down that route.
  15. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Was it that fact alone, or was there more to the situation that caused her bisexuality to be a problem?
  16. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    My only issue with this thread is that there are a *lot* of alternative lifestyles.
    Swinging and poly are only 2 of them...
  17. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    True that! Perry probably could have titled the thread better. :rolleyes: :D

    My life is a mash-up of many "alternative" lifestyles.
  18. Hey, we're new at this. I'm still learning some terminology. School us. I'm curious! ;)
  19. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    As if I have the means to school someone... Id still be considered green, Im sure.

    I guess it would really depend on what you'd want to focus the discussion on.
    As far as as the discussion has gone thus far, it seems focused on swinging and inviting auxillary players into the bedroom.

    LGBT people often identify with the "alternative lifestyle" tag as well.

    Just googled 'alternative lifestyle' and came up with this:
  20. Pacman

    Pacman Layin' Down Time Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2000
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
    Some of the strongest relationships I've ever seen were swinger couples.
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