the cat in the hat plays a ric with no pick

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by john turner, Aug 28, 2000.

  1. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    about a year and a half ago, this guy named conrad standish posted to the bottom line (TBL) about going into a music store and playing a rickenbacker bass they had without a pick - the store employees gave hims some measure of hard time about it, for some reason, so he asked the list if anybody else didn't pick their rics, so to speak. i wrote this to make him feel better (think dr. seuss) :D

    The Ric with no Pick

    On a bright sunny day, a few months before May
    To the guitarshop, good Conrad, there's a bass you must play

    Among the cymbals that ring, and the keyboards that sing
    Behind the various nefarious skinny stringed things

    A burgandy glow leads those in the know
    To a princess of basses, a queen of notes low

    With her curves and her chrome, she begs for a new home
    With promises of music on nights all alone

    "Good sir" Conrad asks, all politeness and care
    "May I play that red bass, the Sweet Ric over there?"

    The sales dude nods as he answers the call
    And gets the red bass gently off of the wall

    With an amp and a chord and the bass in demand
    He then offers a plectrum in his outstretched hand

    With a smile and shrug and a sly wink of his eye
    Conrad declines the kind offer and lets his fingers fly

    The sales dude's mouth moves but he can't say a thing
    As Conrad makes music with just fingers and strings

    He finally can speak and he turns to the door
    He shouts and he pouts - he can't take anymore

    "Hey Jerry Hey Nick I'm gonna be sick
    He's playing that Ric, and he don't got a pick"

    Other sales dudes gather at the un-heard-of noise
    Of the Ric being played with no finger toys

    "It's plinking and plucking, it's growling and clucking
    It sounds like a duck in a truck who is ...trucking"

    As they listened in fear, they started to hear
    the sweet real sound of the bass ringing clear

    Their smiles grew wide, they drooled starry eyed
    As the growl of the Ric could not be denied

    Then entered a cat, with a tall stripey hat
    Who said, loud and rude, "We'll have none of that"

    "This rhyming must stop, someone must call the cops
    I will end this my self with a few careful 'chops'"

    So from then on all the sales dudes told
    of the bass on the wall that will never be sold

    Because this guy came in once and played with no pick
    on this princess of basses, the sweet burgandy Ric

  2. pkr2


    Apr 28, 2000
    coastal N.C.
    That was truly emotional, John. I got all teary eyed just reading it.Can you post the tab for it? I'm gonna write one about my Washburn if I can come up with a word that rhymes with Washburn. :)
    boghurtgurule likes this.
  3. eli

    eli Mad showoff 7-stringer and Wish lover Supporting Member

    Dec 12, 1999
    NW suburban Chicago
    How 'bout one about a Conklin?


    May 29, 2000
    hooksett NH USA
    You have alot of time on your hands, dont you?????
    I must say, that was damn good.
  5. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    thanks, i should do one about my conklins.

    i got one about my pedulla, though, i think i'll put that in another thread...
  6. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    how bout rug burn? tush burn? butter churn?
    PortlandBass77 likes this.
  7. Deynn

    Deynn Moderator Emeritus

    Aug 9, 2000
    That was great John! Is there NO end to your talents?...:)
  8. Doug


    Apr 5, 2000
    Buffalo, N.Y.
    What a masterpiece. My three year old would be proud.;)
  9. BassDudeJake


    Jul 26, 2000
    I wish I could rhyhm, like John with hair in a line
    but I'm no poet, and boy do I know it.

    This cr@ppy post, is showing my most,
    which makes me glad, 'cause my rhyming is bad.

    hehehe, oh well. gotta get a new profesion.

    good poem, John
  10. Gard

    Gard Commercial User

    Mar 31, 2000
    Greensboro, NC, USA
    General Manager, Roscoe Guitars
    Aye, JT, the poet is strong within ye. :D
  11. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
  12. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    This is even better now.
  13. PortlandBass77

    PortlandBass77 Supporting Member

    Jul 11, 2013
    Portland, OR
    Someone needs to make this into a song! (With a bass solo of course :bassist:)
  14. devnulljp

    devnulljp Supporting Member

    Oct 13, 2009
    BC, Canada
    Admin on the D*A*M Forum
    This man played a Rick with no pick

    Les Claypool

    Cliff Burton

    John Deacon

    Sorry that didn't rhyme ...
  15. Gaolee

    Gaolee It's all about the polyester Supporting Member

    That's great! A 14 year old zombie thread that I'm really happy to see.
  16. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I totally win the Zombie Thread Contest with this one.
    Gaolee likes this.
  17. I'm happy and glad for the Zombie Thread,
    bringing back poems long presumed dead.
    Prior to this, John Turner's poem I'd not read,
    and having read, I'll say "Well done, John Turner, well said!"
  18. The people who play a Ric with no pic(k)...

    ...As posted by Devnulljp, include Geddy Lee
    playing his Ric with abandon and glee.
    I'm just getting going, you wait and see.

    Ric players in the know are no fools
    and play Rics fingerstyle, such as Mr Claypool
    who plays with aplomb, he's certainly no tool.

    The Master of Bass in Metallica Cliff Burton,
    too, knew what to do – that is certain.
    Alas we lost him too early, which has us still hurtin'.

    The King amongst Queen is John Deacon
    The band without him is like eggs without bacon
    His tone with a Ric sans pick can't be beaten.

    So there they are, devnulljp, your chosen few in rhyme
    the best of the pick-less ric players in rock's time,
    bassists inspiring us, as does Turner, with their lines.
  19. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga