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The Dozens

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by BustinJustin, Mar 16, 2004.


  1. BustinJustin

    BustinJustin banned

    Sep 12, 2003
    NYC, LI too
    Lets see em yall!

    wait, wait, ok here-

    yo moms is so fat she smokes a ham after sex...




    Classy I know :rolleyes:


    :D
     
  2. YO MAMA so fat, I drove my car around her, and when I reached the ass, I ran outta gas! :rolleyes:

    YO MAMA so stoopid! She thought the "socialist party" was where the cool kids hung out! :p
     
  3. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    ...so fat she's got her own zip code

    takes me back to fourth grade :D
     
  4. alright, ill join the elemtery fun :)

    -Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

    -Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

    -Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

    -Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

    -Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

    and the bass:
    -Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.

    so what i guess i should say... is i found a site that has a lot, here it is if your bored: http://www.duck****.com/yo-mama-jokes/
     
  5. Vince S.

    Vince S. Resident Former Bassist

    Jan 24, 2003
    In.

    Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
     
  6. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    Yo momma is so dumb... ​

    ...she took a ladder to the Giants game.
    ...she took a gun to the Bullets game.
    ...she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

    Yo momma is so fat...​
    ...she can't wear a red sweat shirt without everyone yelling "Kooooooool-Aid"
    ...she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
    ...when she was in school, she sat next to EVERYBODY.
    ...she stepped on a talking scale and it said "one at a time please".



    All of those are off the top of my head. They are so out of use that I have forgotten all of the other ones.
     
  7. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    over the years, these two are my favorites.

    Yo mama is so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck

    yo mama is kind of like a subway, except not everyone has been on a subway.
     
  8. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Your momma is so poor, someone stepped on a burnin cigarette butt in the front yard and she yelled "WHO TURNED OFF THE HEATER?"
     
  9. Pause

    Pause

    Jun 4, 2003
    Miami, FL
    yo mama's so fat she sweats butter
     
  10. yoshi

    yoshi

    Jul 12, 2002
    England, London
    Wow, Yo momma 'jokes' :p

    Here's somefrom a list myself and a few mates conjured up about 4 years ago for our brotherhood website (which happens to STILL be online to my amazement after checking now! wow).

    after reading through a few and broswing some of the site content..it makes me realize what a bunch of ******* (cant think of a term so feel free to alter starcount) we were ;)

    Yo Momma's so Fat
    Yo Momma's so Fat she uses a boomerang to put o her belt
    Yo Momma's so Fat when she bent down to tie her lace the world froze over
    Yo Momma's so Fat when she goes to school she sits next to eeeeeeeevryone
    Yo Momma's so Fat when she was in the road and I tried to drive round her I ran out of petrol/gas
    Yo Momma's so Fat yo poppa never makes love to the same wrinkle
    Yo Momma's so Fat her belt is the size of the equator
    Yo Momma's so Fat when she jumped into the sea hales began to sing 'we are family'

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Yo Momma's so Ugly/Nasty
    Yo Momma So Ugly when she looked out the window she was fined for mooning
    Yo Momma so Ugly she's predators stunt double
    Yo Momma so Ugly even the freak show wont have her
    Yo Momma so Ugly coz she fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch
    Yo Momma so Ugly I once saw monkeys try to peel her teeth
    Yo momma so ugly the nurse smacked her when you were born
    Yo Momma so Nasty she takes crabs to the beach

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Yo Momma so Old
    Yo Momma so Old when yo Poppa makes love to her she creaks more than the bed
    Yo Momma so Old her birth certificate has expired
    Yo Momma so Old when I told her to act her age, the bitch died
    Yo Momma so Old Jesus signed her leaving book/year book
    Yo Momma so Old she witnessed the Big Bang
    Yo Momma so Old she invented history
    Yo Momma so Old that antique dealers offer millions for her

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Yo Momma so Poor
    Yo Momma so Poor she makes you eat cereals with a fork to save milk
    Yo Momma so Poor she pays discount on coupons

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Yo Mommas House so Small
    Yo Mommas House so Small there isn't enuff room to change ya mind in it
    Yo Mommas House so Small the cockroaches are hunchbacks
    Yo Mommas House so Small when I walked in he front door, I tripped on the back fence
    Yo Mommas House is so Small we had to eat a small pizza outside
    Yo Mommas House is so Small theres no room for a cat, never mind swingin one

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    Yo Momma so Stupid
    Yo Momma so Stupid she was stabbed in a shoot out
    Yo Momma so Stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch
    Yo Momma so Stupid she was locked in a foodstore and starved to death
    Yo Momma so Stupid when I asked her for the time she gave me her watch
    Yo Mommas so Stupid she tripped over a cordless phone
    Yo Momma so Stupid she failed the dufus test
    Yo Momma so Stupid she climbed a glass wall to see the other side

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Miscellaneous Yo Mommas
    Yo Momma so Cheap I paid her a penny for a shag, n she gave me change
    Yo Mommas so Hunchbacked she wears goggles to do the dishes
    Yo Momma so dry her crabs carry water supplies
    Yo Mommas so flat chested she's jealous of the wall
    Yo Momma Sucks so much that black holes are jealous
    Yo Mommas like a fridge, everyone puts their meat in her
    Yo Momma, 'nuff sed
     
  11. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    I can't believe I forgot these....

    these are by far the best I've ever heard.

    yo mama is soo fat, I'll bet she wears big pants!
    Yo mama likes to read so much, I'll bet she has a library card!
    yo mama is so fat, I'll bet she eats a lot of food!
     
  12. yoshi

    yoshi

    Jul 12, 2002
    England, London
    Call me immature if ye wish but those actually made me laugh :p
     
  13. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Yo mama's vision is so poor, I'll bet she wears thick glasses!
    Yo mama is so pale, she probably hasn't been getting a lot of sun!
    yo mama likes computers so much, you could call her a computer nerd, and you'd probably be right!
     
  14. nice ones... so far i think the best of all here is the "she was stabbed at a shoot out" ... that actually made me laugh :)
     
  15. pyrohr

    pyrohr

    Aug 28, 2001
    Pakistani compound
    yo momma so stupid she climbed a tree talkin about she wanted to be branch manager!
    I sent yo momma to the store for a hero, she came back with Arnold Swazenegger!
    Yo momma is so stupid she thought St ides was a church!
    Yo momma so skinny, she can hoola hoop through a cherrio!
    Yo momma so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked her mother!
    yo momma was so ugly as a baby, the incubator had tinted windows!
    Yo momma is so fat, she has to iron her pants in the driveway!
    Yo momma lips so big chapstick had to make a spray!
    yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!
    Yo momma so nasty, when she gets in the car the oil light comes on!
    Yo momma house is so small, you have to go outside to change you mind!
     
  16. pyrohr

    pyrohr

    Aug 28, 2001
    Pakistani compound
    Yo momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand, her name is Eileen!
    Yo momma asked me how to get to 34st, I sad take the 4 train. she took the 2 train twice!
    Yo momma was kicking a can down the street, Iasked her what was she doin? she said she was moving!
    I told yo momma it was chilly outside, she bought a bowl!
    You momma so ugly, as a kid they tied a porkchop around her neck so the dog would play with her!
    Yo momma ears so big she looks like a car coming down the street with the doors open!
     
  17. pyrohr

    pyrohr

    Aug 28, 2001
    Pakistani compound
    Yo momma so stupid she got a part time job painting skittles!
     
  18. Figjam

    Figjam

    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    Yo mommas so fat, she walked outside and a plane crashed into her and she goes 'DAMN MOSQUITOES!"
     
  19. Some good stuff here . Made me laugh a few times .
    How about these ?

    Your momma is so ugly She went into a haunted house and they gave her an application !

    Your momma is so fat her shadow has stretch marks !

    Your momma is so fat her blood type is rocky road !
     
  20. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Your momma is so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.

    Your momma's teeth are so yellow she spits butter.

    -Mike