Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

The Jewels and Robot Wurst-Ship Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Thor, Jan 20, 2004.


  1. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Sure, we had a JT Worship thread, now for something totally different.

    The 2 people on this board who consistently
    distort, abuse and twist the English language
    into a pretzel, constantly PUNting to our
    amusement and exasperation, deserve not our vilification, but some perverse praise for
    their provocative pontifications.

    In honor of Wrong Robot, and Michael Jewels,
    here is a quick list of some of the puns, that, if they have not already visited these abominations upon us, they wish they had.

    Feel free to fire at will, and do your wurst!


    Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
    A backward poet writes inverse.
    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

    Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
    Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor
    play.
    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
    Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is
    two tired.
    What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead
    giveaway.)
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
    banana.

    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism
    your count votes.
    She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


    If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
    He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    Every calendar's days are numbered.
    A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    A plateau is a high form of flattery.
    A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

    Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    Acupuncture is a jab well done.

    ---------
     
  2. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Pretty nICE, you sleigh me!
     
  3. secretdonkey

    secretdonkey

    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Cool! I thought this post would consist of old hat stuff that would bore me to tears, but no pun in ten did.
     
  4. thrash_jazz

    thrash_jazz

    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    :mad:

    Pffff...

    I don't get no respect.
     
  5. NJL

    NJL

    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    hail the geese that be!
     
  6. secretdonkey

    secretdonkey

    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    You are a god of wordplay, thrash, but sometimes that's just the way it goose... you just need to find your way into the flock... err... gaggle.

    :D ;)
     
  7. I'll be at the drawing board if anyone needs me.:(

    I'm guessing they won't. :bawl:

    Mike :D

    I won't have any internet after 5 o'clock today, so I gotta post quickly.
     
  8. Thor, they were all good, but this one was the best IMHO.

    Thrash, you were the one that got me started in all this.

    YOU DA MAN! :hyper:

    Mike

    Thanks, Thor. :)
     
  9. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Where da luv be at?

    My apologies to Trashjazz who needs rest. Pecked?


    It's so easy to forget where these damgeese came from!
     
  10. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Oh, Spud Up!

    I take no responsibility, I didn't write them,
    they flocked into my inbox of their own volition.

    Bird!
     
  11. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    There is one word that I have always struggled to pun, Fugue, it's such a tricky word FEW GUys can do it I think.

    :p
     
  12. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    The old title has now been Trashed!
    :D
     
  13. thrash_jazz

    thrash_jazz

    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Thank you suh! :D

    Surely, it was not my intent to WINE about such things... surely it must have seemed CHEESEy, but in the end the result was GOUDA for me... I couldn't resist sneaking in a PARTYng comment...

    And so, the games begin!
     
  14. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    FuGue?

    Well, FuGue too! :eek: :D
     
  15. We have to move forward in the music world, we can't go BACH to such silly things as fugues. You have to speak your puns out in plain sight; there's no HAYDEN when you pun about music.

    VIVAldi this thread.

    Go away, you DEBUSSY me. :D

    Mike :p