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The LGBT Bass Players Club!

Discussion in 'Bassists [BG]' started by Evil Undead, Jul 15, 2011.

  1. Paulabass

    Paulabass Supporting Member

    Sep 18, 2017
    Yikes- News. I met my surgeon yesterday, pre-op meeting. Have my date for my final surgery. July 6!!!!
    It suddenly seems so close. Off hormones as of today :(
    I really did not expect a date so soon, and I have a couple of gigs perilously close, but he said I should be fine for them. My girlfriends were all up and around very quickly.
    Weird mix of euphoria, and apprehension.
  2. the harp unstrung

    the harp unstrung What would Fred Rogers do? Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2014
    On The Bus
    Confidence means you’re already half way there. :thumbsup:

    ALL the Best Beams are pouring in from All around!

    Listen to your body and do what it tells you to do. I speak from experience with surgery.
    There are few things dumber that trying to come back too soon. I lived that, and it cost me in the long run.

    Breathe... :)

    Smile... :thumbsup:
    catcauphonic, Christine and frEQ like this.
  3. Paulabass

    Paulabass Supporting Member

    Sep 18, 2017
    Thanks for the encouraging words. I am very lucky. I have a very close group of trans-girlfriends of whom I will be the last one for surgery, so I have been thru the healing process four times in less than two years. Not much can surprise me.
  4. bi bass bitch here! whats poppin
  5. blastoff99


    Dec 17, 2011
    SW WA, USA

    Hey there. You found us!

    Could you not use that word, even to describe yourself? For many, it’s been weaponized and used to degrade. We keep it friendly here!
    Christine and the harp unstrung like this.
  6. sorry! i didnt realize. bi bass girl then
  7. Congrats, @Paulabass

    All good things in all good time
    Christine likes this.
  8. the harp unstrung

    the harp unstrung What would Fred Rogers do? Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2014
    On The Bus

    Hey, don’t let a stumble right out of the box (Baseball reference;)) stand in your way!
    We’re all betting you have plenty to contribute here.

    OH! I caught hell several times when I first started posting.
    Mostly it had to do with resurrectin the dreaded Zombie threads...:roflmao:

    Welcome aboard! :thumbsup:
    Christine likes this.
  9. Christine

    Christine Guest

    Aug 3, 2016
    Hiya :)
    the harp unstrung likes this.
  10. Christine

    Christine Guest

    Aug 3, 2016
    Excellent news @Paulabass, good you have those close friends too.

    I found out off the doctor on Wednesday evening I have to wait nearly 2 years for my first visit to the gender clinic, I'll be nearly 60 then :(
  11. Paulabass

    Paulabass Supporting Member

    Sep 18, 2017
    ^In Canada everything happens fast- they understand that the best judge of your gender is YOU.
    I joke about Canada- if you say you are a panda, they give you a new Panda name and birth certificate, and only use panda pronouns.
    Christine, frEQ and the harp unstrung like this.
  12. What are the panda pronouns? When I learnt English at school, they omitted them, so now I don't know.
  13. Paulabass

    Paulabass Supporting Member

    Sep 18, 2017
    ^ Whatever the panda in question wishes. Who are we to question their choice of pronouns?
    You can't go wrong with the genderless 'theypanda'.
  14. Hey, Juliana Cantu. Beautiful name, that is. Just wondering: do you by any chance have rumanian ancestors?

    Also: do you want to be a member of this Club?
  15. After reading some posts here of some worrying about "What if others find out", I thought about writing about my experience "finding out". I have known other Transgender people but there was no finding out as they used it as their identity and was pretty much the first thing said during introductions.

    I met someone online, hey I know all of you from online also. :thumbsup:
    Enjoyed his posts for a few years, seen some things we have in common, developing a like for them as you all have done with each other here. One day he is looking to live in an area near me so we talk about it, make jokes about the area and such even do a few private messages. His profile said Male, so I always took this person as a male.

    He moves kind of by my area in a path occasionally traveled, we chat a bit online making jokes in threads and such and one day I was traveling near his house so PM, "I will be in your area want to meet up?" We talk on the phone sounds like a nice guy and we meet up. He looks male so no reason to think otherwise. Had a nice time together and became friends, left feeling good about meeting another TB Buddy.

    We chat often, I have been to his house a few times, he is a good person to talk with. I consider him a friend.

    In some PM we talked health issues where he alluded to female issues and parts a few months ago, I just thought, "Hum, guess he use to be a she." and that was it and continued our conversation never thinking anymore about it as I care about the person I know now. There is no need to know about my friend's body parts past or present or other private manners so why should I ask. In any other situation a person would not ask about another's private parts. So I never ask or think about it.

    Then I find this Thread a few weeks ago and read the last 30+ pages to catch up on things and my friend @blastoff99 is talking about his experience and transformation, it was a neat read. I have new knowledge about his past, change and experiences that he shared publicly. He was a good person before knowing this, so to me in regards to our friendship nothing has changed. Why should it?

    I hope that you who are afraid of someone finding out take comfort in the fact that if someone is going to freak out about it then they are not someone you want to be with anyway.
    If I become not friends with someone it will be about their character and not about their gender past or present.
  16. blastoff99


    Dec 17, 2011
    SW WA, USA

    In case you were wondering, @S-Bigbottom did PM me before he posted this, and I told him it was a story absolutely worth sharing. He had not only my permission, but my encouragement.

    One thing I said to him in a PM (I think I'm about to put it more eloquently here, hopefully) is that gender expression is something that's very personal also, not just gender identity. Someone who leads with information about their gender identity may be doing so for a variety of reasons, just as much as someone who doesn't lead with it. There is no 'right' way to be trans, or to express one's gender (trans, cis, or whatever).

    My choice has been to not lead with it. I've shared part of the reasons on here before; I believe that (*for me*) if it's the first, second, or third thing any of my acquaintances think of when they look at me, I'm not doing a good enough job being an interesting and kind human being. Being trans is neither a point of pride nor shame for me. It's just a fact, and although it's one I'm plenty willing to talk about (duh!), I don't run in circles where it often comes up.

    And since I run in circles where if it comes up it'll be a negative, that's another reason I don't tend to wear a sign. I live in a very conservative place. In the interest of personal safety and good treatment, it's probably best that the general public doesn't know. While I'm not fearful of being outed, I don't welcome it either. It doesn't seem useful or necessary. It's seldom relevant. The number of scenarios where being out can do me harm far outnumber the scenarios where it can do me good.

    That said, I realize that there are situations where being out might do someone else some good. Fairly early in transition, I met a teenage trans guy and his mom at a Starbucks. I was the first trans adult they'd met, and they were practically giddy over it. One of them said 'You need to meet Dad, because you're... normal.'

    Huh. That clued me in to another kind of fear: the fear that trans = freak, and being seen as a freak, and treated as a freak. I am not bad looking, but I am certainly 'normal' and boring. I would not look good with green hair or piercings. No value judgment there; it's just me. So I accept that sometimes people find out I'm trans, and it gives them hope that although their kid is always going to be trans, the hair and clothes and whatever are a separate issue (gender expression, not identity), and maybe the kid will make a different choice by the time she's 30.

    Let me be clear that I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I am aware that passing is a privilege that not many get. I have the luxury of easily finding clothes that fit, and fit my style. When people say to me 'But you don't LOOK trans!' I used to respond with 'There are many ways to be trans.' Now I say 'There are many ways to be human.' That's a far better response.
  17. Eloquence you possess plenty, blastoff99.
    the harp unstrung likes this.
  18. blastoff99


    Dec 17, 2011
    SW WA, USA

    Or verbosity at least!
    instrumentalist likes this.
  19. ugly_bassplayer

    ugly_bassplayer Supporting Member

    Jan 21, 2009
    I'm not LGBT but you are some of the strongest people I've ever come across. I will forever defend the cause the best I can. It's not much....but......its i something.

    Plus I freaking love what the band the Hirs collective is doing.
  20. Paulabass

    Paulabass Supporting Member

    Sep 18, 2017
    S-Bigbottom- Nice post, thank you. There area billion types of trans person, but for sake of simplicity, I'll go with two
    Stealth trans- Who attempt NEVER to let their status become public. They just want to blend into society and disappear. These men and women are mortified/terrified if found out, or outed.
    Open trans- Where I fit. I don't give a sweet damn who knows. I wear the t-shirt proudly. Part of it is that I'm in Canada, the best country on earth to be trans, and part is because I finally transitioned at 54, I'm never going to look like Laverne Cox!
    I think if I had shed the denial (oh, did I know) young enough, I would have just tried to assimilate, and I would not be on this page.
    Neither is RIGHT, NOR WRONG. It's a choice we face.

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