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the love of my life has passed on

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Brad Barker, Jun 7, 2007.

  1. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    i've always been fearing the day when i would have to make this thread...


    about an hour and a half ago, i got a phone call from the best friend of my ex-girlfriend, letting me know what had happened.

    steph, my ex-girlfriend (that alone doesn't feel right typing... ex-...), had cystic fibrosis, an as-yet incurable genetic disease that is terminal. she lived to be 21 and a half years old, and had to fight for every second of it. :(

    i met her about two and a half years ago through a friend from high school. she was staying in gainesville because lung transplants are performed in shands hospital, the hospital at UF's campus, so it wasn't too long before we started seeing movies and stuff together.

    she was in the hospital a lot from the time i knew her--i actually was more used to seeing her in the hospital than out, at one point.

    she received a double lung transplant on june 17, 2005, but her body rejected them not even a year later. at the eleventh hour, she got another transplant, a single lung, on july 11, 2006. i did all i could to be there for her because i knew she needed the company.

    we fell in love and started dating in early january this year. she had moved back down to south florida by this point, so the distance, plus her continued health issues, really prevented us from having too much time together, but the time we did have together was the best of my life.

    she broke up with me late in april, a few weeks after the doctors at shands told her they couldn't do anything more for her. i don't really want to get into the period after that and up until now because i've been kind of a wreck since then. i've lost 20 pounds (and if you've seen me, i don't really have 20 pounds to lose), among other things...

    i can't even really begin to describe how amazing of a person she was. i could never do her life justice. she really was the strongest person i had ever met, and she was the love of my life. i had loved her from day one as a friend, and i am grateful that i had the opportunity to love her as more than that, as well.

    it just seems so absolutely cruel to me that someone who loved life so much that she would endure everything she had to endure would not be able to get the life she absolutely deserved.

    she has had a profound effect on the lives of everyone who had the privilege of meeting her.

    thanks for reading.
  2. man that truly blows and you and her family are in my prayers
  3. Jiggybass


    Nov 15, 2005
    Sudbury, Canada
    It's sad that those who deserve a great life have it taken away so quickly :(

    I am really sorry to hear about this, what a terrible thing to go through. But at least she seemed to have affected your life for the best, and you should embrace that, and cherish all the great memories and remind yourself that life will never fair, so make the best of it while you can. You seem to have done just that. I feel for your loss, and times are going to be rough, but keep strong, and cherish the life you have.

    Best of luck to you, and I was almost tearing reading your post.

    This reminds me greatly of my Grandpa, who passed almost 2 weeks ago. He was a great man, calm and collected, very down to earth, and the most understanding man I've ever met. He lived in a small town, and over 700 people showed up at the ceremony at the church. He had a great impact on everyone's life that encountered. Died suddenly of various infections to the intestines, and colon cancer. within three weeks, he went from tree cutting, cottage building active man, to dead and underground. I have also lost a few pounds, and still rarely eat, but I'm fighting through it.

    You'll get through this, it'll be tough, I know. But keep holding on man. Keep strong! :)

    - Felix
  4. BetterBottomEnd

    BetterBottomEnd <- Not me I just like looking at her

    Jan 9, 2007
    Cable Wi
    I went last weekend to the funeral for my best friends mom. She fought diabetes since the age of 7 and she was always the most loving, happy, vibrant person I've ever met. She suffered through all kinds of stuff. She lost a leg to her diabetes, the occasional bout of skin cancer, she was legally blind, and always seemed to be sick. She never complained though she even used to joke about taking her leg off to throw at us.

    She was a talented artist, a loving mother, and some one who always cared. She went to sleep and never woke up. Sometimes you just wonder why such a wonderful person like that has to go.

    Sorry to hear about your loss. It amazes how some people who are so much worse of then me manage to always be so happy. Sometimes you really have to wonder why such an amazing person has to go.
  5. Fontaine


    Apr 27, 2006
    im really tuely sorry to hear this but you know, god does everything for a reason, it was probably best now then in a few years if she was suffering, and you will of course be reunited again with her in time.

    The only thing i could possible say to help you get your mind off it is to just go on and live life how u normally would, i understand that you loved this girl, she sounds like a really nice person but you should do something to get yout mind off of it.

    again, im sorry to hear of your loss.
  6. disenchant

    disenchant You can't plagiarize yourself.

    Aug 9, 2006
    Elgin, IL
    I really feel for you and she sounds like an amazing person and you are so lucky to have known her.

    It really puts things in perspective. People complain about such petty stuff, the price of gas, getting ripped off a few bucks, wrecking a favorite shirt. And then reading something like this makes me realize how stupid some of those things are because there are people in this world with real problems, and they have real strength too. It sounds like she had real strength.

    I don't know what you believe, but she'll always be with you.

    Peace & Love,

  7. Hope you get through this ok, that must be the most horrible feeling ever, loosing someone who meant so much at such a young age, about 9 months ago a girl I had know since the age of about 5 died of CF at age 22, she was half way through a law degree :(
  8. Basshole

    Basshole Inactive

    Jan 28, 2005
    Sorry for your loss. Glad you had the pleasure of spending fine time with someone you relished so. The good times in this life are often fleeting. Be happy for the positive memories. May your mind be at peace.
  9. All I can say is that your words are very moving. Your love and repect for her speaks volumes. I'm truly sorry for your loss but she suffers no more and you can now treasure the time you had without worrying for her.

    Maybe she was here just long enough.
  10. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. :(
  11. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    sorry for your loss. try and remember the good times.
  12. Mark Wilson

    Mark Wilson Supporting Member

    Jan 12, 2005
    Toronto, Ontario
    Endorsing Artist: Elixir® Strings
    I'm sorry to hear, Brad. :(
    I hope you stay strong. We're all here for you :)
  13. Spector_Ray


    Aug 8, 2004
    Brad, my deepest condolences to you my friend. I really don't know what else to say except my heart aches for you. You will be in my prayers.
  14. antiseptic

    antiseptic **antisepticised**

    Jul 18, 2006
    la la land
    I'm sorry to hear that. Hang in there.
  15. basspraiser

    basspraiser Jammin for the Lamb! Supporting Member

    Dec 8, 2006
    Chicago - NW Burbs

    please know that my prayers as well as the prayers of many caring TBers are with you at this difficult time.....

    I know what it is like to lose someone so young....my first "real" girl friend passed when she was 18 and my sister passed when she was 31.....The one comforting thought is that they are both in Heaven and are having a much better (and disease free) life with our Savior.....

    Keep the faith and know that they are now well cared for.....

  16. Geoff St. Germaine

    Geoff St. Germaine Commercial User

    I'm really sorry Brad. My thoughts are with you.
  17. My sympathy for your loss, Brad. She sounds like a terrific person. Thanks for sharing.
  18. ryco


    Apr 24, 2005
    Know she's in a better place with no pain, and yes, she's with you!
    Be sure to take care of yourself and lean on friends at this time - that's what friends are for!
    I'm sorry for your loss.
  19. gkbass13

    gkbass13 Supporting Member

    Mar 29, 2006
    New York
    im so sorry to hear about this, a truly moving story.
  20. kserg


    Feb 20, 2004
    San Jose, CA
    Sorry to hear this Brad, it sounds like she was a wonderful person and you too were lucky to have each other even for that brief time. While reading your posts on TB and only knowing you this way I am sure she was happy while with you and being your friend.

    When others pass on, all we are left with is good memories of loved ones. Keep them, and only them.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

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