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The Mediocre Bassist Club

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Adam Bomb, Apr 22, 2015.


  1. MirandM

    MirandM Married to my bass. Supporting Member

    Oct 29, 2019
    Spain
    I'm all for the alcohol part, the yoga part I'll most certainly do in horizontal after the alcohol part :sleep:
     
  2. Morrighan

    Morrighan La Contessa Supporting Member

    Oct 22, 2015
    Isle of Everywhere
    I've never seen anyone do yoga better than a physical therapist working with yoga student who injured herself.
     
  3. Charlie Tango

    Charlie Tango Disciple of Duck Supporting Member

    Apr 15, 2018
    Northern VA
    Mrs. Tango and I enrolled in a "Yoga for Golfers" class some years ago. We lasted about three sessions before the namaste-ish stuff turned us right off.
     
  4. Morrighan

    Morrighan La Contessa Supporting Member

    Oct 22, 2015
    Isle of Everywhere
    You mean this attitude?

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Jon Clegg

    Jon Clegg Supporting Member

    Feb 9, 2015
    Northern Virginia
    Who speaks for the plants?
     
    LKTraz, PsyDocHill, RodRy and 7 others like this.
  6. Charlie Tango

    Charlie Tango Disciple of Duck Supporting Member

    Apr 15, 2018
    Northern VA
    I think TB stepped on your graphic. All I got was a question mark in a little blue box.
     
    PsyDocHill, RodRy, Winslow and 2 others like this.
  7. Morrighan

    Morrighan La Contessa Supporting Member

    Oct 22, 2015
    Isle of Everywhere
    Odd, I see it. The shirt reads:

    HELLO
    I'm A Vegan
     
    LKTraz, PsyDocHill, RodRy and 4 others like this.
  8. Charlie Tango

    Charlie Tango Disciple of Duck Supporting Member

    Apr 15, 2018
    Northern VA
    Yes, that attitude perzactly!
     
    PsyDocHill, LKTraz, RodRy and 4 others like this.
  9. mikeoso

    mikeoso Acoustic Curmudgeon

    Feb 14, 2014
    eastern Iowa
    upload_2021-1-22_11-57-50.jpeg
     
  10. mikeoso

    mikeoso Acoustic Curmudgeon

    Feb 14, 2014
    eastern Iowa
    ...but all those weeds and bushes are on their own.
     
  11. MirandM

    MirandM Married to my bass. Supporting Member

    Oct 29, 2019
    Spain
    Except for some weeds which are VK's terrain....
     
  12. mikeoso

    mikeoso Acoustic Curmudgeon

    Feb 14, 2014
    eastern Iowa
    " .....good god almighty! Pastures of plenty!" Tom Paxton, Talking Vietnam Potluck
     
  13. Morrighan

    Morrighan La Contessa Supporting Member

    Oct 22, 2015
    Isle of Everywhere
    IMG_20190605_131259.jpg
     
  14. MirandM

    MirandM Married to my bass. Supporting Member

    Oct 29, 2019
    Spain
  15. dadglasser

    dadglasser

    Oct 11, 2009

    From the book The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

    He sat down. The waiter approached. "Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like meet the Dish of the Day?"

    "Huh?" said Ford.

    "Huh?" said Arthur.

    "Huh?" said Trillian.

    "That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat."

    A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

    "Good evening", it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my body?"

    It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters in to a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

    Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

    "Something off the shoulder perhaps?" suggested the animal, "Braised in a white wine sauce?"

    "Er, your shoulder?" said Arthur in a horrified whisper.

    "But naturally my shoulder, sir," mooed the animal contentedly, "nobody else's is mine to offer."

    Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal's shoulder appreciatively.

    "Or the rump is very good," murmured the animal. "I've been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good meat there."

    It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud. It swallowed the cud again.

    "Or a casserole of me perhaps?" it added.

    "You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?" whispered Trillian to Ford.

    "Me?" said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, "I don't mean anything."

    "That's absolutely horrible," exclaimed Arthur, "the most revolting thing I've ever heard."

    "What's the problem Earthman?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump.

    "I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing there inviting me to," said Arthur, "It's heartless."

    "Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.

    "That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ... I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.

    "May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "It must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."

    "A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.

    "A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.

    "Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"

    "Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the while tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."

    It managed a very slight bow.

    "Glass of water please," said Arthur.

    "Look," said Zaphod, "we want to eat, we don't want to make a meal of the issues. Four rare stakes please, and hurry. We haven't eaten in five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years."

    The animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle.

    "A very wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good," it said, "I'll just nip off and shoot myself."

    He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur.

    "Don't worry, sir," he said, "I'll be very humane."

    It waddled unhurriedly off to the kitchen.
     
  16. dadglasser

    dadglasser

    Oct 11, 2009
    Maria Muldaur, Vaudeville Man:

     
  17. Happy good evening, y’all. View from the front stoop to the water too cold but the fire pit so inviting area. 78861CB2-68DB-4956-ACDF-A0CD4F9FCC42.jpeg
     
  18. Morrighan

    Morrighan La Contessa Supporting Member

    Oct 22, 2015
    Isle of Everywhere
    As I write from here

    20210119_034026.jpg
     
    chupacerveza, Winslow, LKTraz and 4 others like this.
  19. RodRy

    RodRy

    Jul 1, 2018
    Kalamazoo, MI
    Very nice photo. I had to stare at it for a while. Just lovely.

    Nice to hear that French aunts are so polite.
    ;)
     
    chupacerveza, Winslow, LKTraz and 4 others like this.
  20. dadglasser

    dadglasser

    Oct 11, 2009
    Leo Kottke, Rings:

     
    LKTraz and the harp unstrung like this.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Mar 4, 2021

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