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The most painful thing ever.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by i like tictacs, Nov 1, 2004.

  1. So today I went to the doctor to have them (her) look at my nail. It had been bothering me for weeks and had been bloody and whatnot, it was an ingrown nail because I cut it too short. Well I get there and she sees that there is a piece of skin in between the nail and finger on the side of the nail that is causing the problem.

    Well. The fun begins. She reaches for a swab-looking thing.

    "oh goody, she's just taking a culture or something." Ha. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was silver oxide, i believe. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. She stuck that sucker right into my nail and I howled. Guys, ever zipped your wang up? Not even close. I've broken bones, zipped it up, sprained things, pulled things, dislocated things, had a bike seat crammed up my ***hole after casing a jump, and nothing can even compare. I was howling like a little girl. It went like this.

    "HoooooOOOOOLY ****!" right there in the room.

    It hurt. So bad. My god.

    She said it should get better soon. Here's to hoping so I can play any type of stringed intrument in the near future.

    Moral of the story? Don't get ingrown fingernails.
  2. Whafrodamus


    Oct 29, 2003
    Andover, MA

    Feel better. May the barse be with you.
  3. Toasted


    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
    Owch. More painful than a zipped up one eyed wonder worm? I dont even want to think about that.
  4. I dont know... I hear a lot of girls bitching (im i aloud to say that here?) about child birth....

    Not that i know anything about that :ninja:
  5. seanm

    seanm I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize! Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2004
    Ottawa, Canada
    If it makes you feel any better, Bill Bryson described a man who got caught up in a a Portuguese Man-of-War his excellent book "In a Sunburned Country". The man was unconscious (in a coma? can't remember), drugged up on morphine, and still screaming. That is pain! :eek:
  6. Isn't the moral to not cut your fingernails short ?
  7. My back completely went out. I thought that was pain. After several years and different ineffective treatments I went in for a "discogram." THAT was a new adventure in pain. Basically, they juice you up on versid or fentanil or something like that, they stick a 10 gauge needle (or something like that) into your intervertbral discs. Then they take away the pain medicine. I think I was actually floating 2 feet off the table. A new Adventure In Pain.
  8. Floating. Hahah! :p Good visual.
  9. I can relate - I have had that exact experience when I was about 8 years old. Last day of a camping vacation in the Keys(and after avoiding them handily for 10 straight days), I picked one up only to have the wind blow it's tentacle cluster right up into and over my arm. I can remember the screaming, and my parents dowsing me in alcohol as they scraped the tentacles off of my arm but that's all from the immediate accident. We were actually ready to get in the car to leave when this happened and I do remember that my arm was mostly paralyzed and felt like I was receiving a constant 120 volt current through it for most of the 10 hour trip home.

    Now, does this compare to the indominable pain of an anular abscess? Hmmm? Many of you might have had hemmorhoids and those are painful but imagine a hot, active, puss, blood and bacteria filled pouch about 1" around buried in your glut muscle right next to your back door. Now THAT will stretch ones concept of pain to new heights.

    I'd tell you how it was treated but I don't want to gross anyone out. :D
  10. Sonorous


    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    So she put a q-tip on your finger nail? Huh? I must not understand what exactly happened.

    Anyway, I've experienced quite a bit of pain before. I had a concave chest. Here. I had surgery to fix it.

    They put me to sleep and then cut a hole in the right and left side of my chest, and then put a metal bar into my chest and pushed my bones outward. To numb the pain afterwards, I had a morphine epidural in my spine. I think they started with something crazy like 18 or 16CCs. Well with that much, I couldn't feel anything at all, I couldn't stand up or use the bathroom because I had zero feeling. Then they brought it down to like 14 or 12 and that was better. However, during the first night (of five) something happened to the machine and it turned itself off.

    I was in major pain for about an 1 1/2 hours until the anesthesiologist was able to wake up from sleep, drive to the hospital and fix it. That really really sucked.

    Though I guess it isn't as bad as a man-of-war. Are they really that painful, or was that just a fiction story? I've seen them once at the beach, but only once. I do know that the platypus can cause major pain.

    Why? What is that supposed to test?
  11. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Oh yeah... I forgot that was you with the backwards boob.

    brad cook
  12. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I once got stung on the balls by a jellyfish. I don't think it was a portuguese man-o-war though..just whatever the jellyfish are along the Texas Gulf Coast. It hurted though...it hurted real bad.

    brad cook
  13. fatbassjazzer


    Feb 27, 2004
    Is it the same procedure for ingrown toenails too? Because if so then I am royally screwed. I have about 3 or so at the moment. One of them I thought I got out, but I didn't and now the skin has grown over the nail so it's impossible to reach.
  14. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    My most painful thing that I can remember is this wierd nerve thing in my pinky. Everytime I hit it just right, it pinches a nerve and feels like my finger is being burned off and ripped off at the same time. Painful indeed. Everything else has been kind of mediocre. Except the time I fell down a waterfall in Puerto Rico.
  15. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    The Q-tip isn't the problem. The silver nitrate on the Q-tip IS. It burns. BAD. No, worse than that. No worse. Keep going. Yeah that bad.

    Yeah they really do suck. Stay away. Seriuosly

    Well, it didn't actually tell them anything. Sometimes the doctor does this stuff for his own entertainment.

    Kidding! They were probably looking for variability of positioning or pressure. Those are things you don't particularly want in the parts that hold your spine in place. But that's just a guess. I'm not a doctor. I just play one at work.
  16. Sorry to hear about the pain.

    I have what I think is an ingrown toe nail on my big toe. For several months now it has been kinda tender and slightly swollen, and well, messy. Every so often stuff builds up and I can pick it off and throw it in the toilet. It's like I'm routinely pulling part of my toe off. ..Anyhow... It only hurts if someone steps on it, or if I poke it, and even then it doesn't hurt so badly and stops in a sec. I figure, it'd be more trouble and pain to get it fixed than to leave it, so it stays.
  17. Ewww Ohh man
    Anything that causes pain around the crown jewels area has gotta hurt
    Man just thinking about what happened to ya Dig gives me the shivers
    Man I'll be balling if that happened to me
  18. The mechanism used by the man-o-war is a thing called a nematocyst. Millions of these small organs make up the tentacles of the mow. The nematocyst consists of a sharp hollow barb that is connected to a muscular venom sac by a long flexible tube. The tube and the barb are coiled up inside the organ awaiting triggering. When something brushes along the surface of the nematocyst, it triggers the coiled barb and it shoots out into the passing victim. Then the venom sac pumps the neurotoxin through the flexible hose while the barb stays stuck in the victim. You can't get away from it because it's inside you and it's just filling the area around the entry point with poison.

    But I can certainly sympathize with your "corrective" treatment. That's terrible. Wonder what it sounded like?
  19. dlloyd

    dlloyd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Apr 21, 2004
    My other half used to say that. She's currently in hospital with a ruptured liver and childbirth has been knocked into second place.
  20. Joe Turski

    Joe Turski

    Jul 29, 2003
    I would think that would be at the top of your list.

    I'm in pain just thinking about it.