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The Official "The Poop has hit the fan - Zombie Scenario Contingency Plan" Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by bassturtle, Apr 29, 2005.

  1. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    Since we all know that Zombies are real, and I know that some of you guys are dorks like me, post your contingency plan for when the crap hits the fan and zombies are on your doorstep. I'll post mine when I get a couple extra minutes.

    Oh and due to the serious nature of this thread, I'd appreciate it if Jazzbo would sticky it. Thank you.
  2. First and foremost, board the windows and doors. There's nothing I like less than having a zombie come crashing in the dining room window or the french doors while we're in the middle of dinner. Zombies just aren't the most well mannered undead creatures.
  3. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    Yeah, that's always a pain in the neck.
  4. bigbeefdog

    bigbeefdog Who let the dogs in?

    Jul 7, 2003
    Mandeville, LA
    My six-year-old daughter handles Zombie issues for me. She scares the bejesus out of them, and they immediately turn and flee.

    About a year ago, one was slowly limping his way down the grocery aisle, knee brace on one leg, cane in hand, when she spotted him...

    "A ZOMBIE!!! DADDY!!! A ZOMBIE!!!"

    Poor Zombie did a 180° and was never seen again.

    She handles other issues as well, like the guy in the restaurant last month wearing the eye patch..... "DADDY!! A PIRATE!!! Can I go look at the pirate.... PLEASE!?!?"....

  5. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    I don't have a zombie contingency plan yet, but I have a fairly detailed nuclear holocaust plan, which I cannot disclose at this time.
  6. How about now?

    (looks at watch)
  7. jadesmar


    Feb 17, 2003
    Ottawa, ON
    I can only hope that it's also a contingency plan.
  8. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I didn't used to have any kind of plan for anything but now I have a good plan for a neighborhood blackout thanks to a fellow TBer.

    As far as my zombie plan? Well it's pretty much like most of my other contingency plans. When it happens post on TB about it.

    brad cook
  9. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Mine plan involves lots and lots of fire, guns, dogs, and a trebuchet. -the main thing to remember is to leave the heads of the zombies you kill on stakes near your gate as a warning to their friends. A "wild eagle" post in this thread would be priceless, I imagine. `
  10. I never even thought I would need a zombie contingency plan, but, now that it's open for discussion, it's going on my list of things to do right above a will and buying smoke detectors.
  11. kserg


    Feb 20, 2004
    San Jose, CA
    My friend just bought a book on how to survive zombie attacks... its big... its real... and i am getting it as well...
  12. JTbass


    Jul 2, 2004
    Asutin TX
    My friends and I have a silly zombie contingencey plan. It's balically a short trip to the gun shop, then to loved ones homes to rescue them. Then turning a large shoping center nearby "The Hancock Center" into a fortress. It's got a Sears, an HEB, a Radio Shack, and other useful places with means of long term survival. We would basically live on top of the HEB and go on missions to get stuff.

    This is what I posted in the other thread. Its actualy not a bad idea, I don't know how many of you live in Austin and know the place im talking about but it's just perfect.

    I guess I might go grab Paul and drag him along to ensure the survival of TB.
  13. My house is too big to be defended by myself, so I'll likely abandon it, but taking a few firearms along the way with me. I'll take my dad's pickup truck - has two gas tanks, plus a huge bed for putting in supplies and can go offroad if necessary. Have a few friends ride in the bed of the truck packing shotguns and semi-auto rifles.

    Oh yeah, and before I do anything, I press up up down down left right left right b a start, so in case I screw up I have plenty of lives :cool:
  14. There's gotta be a way to get the vampires get pissed off at the zombies and while they are fighting it out amongst each other, quietly slip away.

    I'll get back to you on this.

    *puts on reading glasses, gets out slide rule and graph paper
  15. callofthebow


    Oct 19, 2003
    Orlando, FL
    i have 2 plans, but it all depends on what kind of zombies are on the loose. Theres the classic Type A zombie which is slow and mumbles. Type A's can be seen in movies such as "The Night of the Living Dead", and "Sean of the Dead". Then, theres the dreaded Type B zombie who is out for blood and can run fast as hell. These can be seen in movies such as the new "Dawn of the Dead."

    So as you can see, two totally different types of zombies means two totally different plans.
  16. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003
    Can zombies swim?
  17. Folmeister

    Folmeister Knowledge is Good - Emile Faber Supporting Member

    May 7, 2003
    Tomball, Texas
    My old class-mate Jake Weber was just in the remake of Dawn of the Dead , so I am going to ask him as he has real-world experience fighting the zombie menace. Right off the top of my head, I am thinking some sort of anti-zombie weapon based upon a Salad Shooter.
  18. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    Yeah type B zombies, like from 28 days later, are no good. I think we're all praying for the type A.

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