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The old guys questions

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Davesound, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. Davesound


    Apr 30, 2013
    I helped start a band about 7 to 8 years ago.In this group we have a Male and Female singer. The Male also plays lead guitar.The Female singers husband is also our booking agent and band manager. My wife and I have become close friends to the Female singer and her husband..We go on vacations and other places with them.The Male and Female singer have started a Duo.The band jobs have slowed down some and the Duo's have doubled.Mainly because the Duo cost a lot less to hire.This is what we are told by our manager/ Booking agent.My problem is that the Duo has become the priority with the Female singer.This means that band practice and maybe some jobs happen for the band only when there is not a conflict with the Duo schedule or practice or anything.Remember we are hopefully close friends with the singer and husband ,but I'm not sure close enough to discuss this without creating hard feelings , no matter how careful I am.It's not fair to the band and the four band guys all agree but are afraid to ruffle any feathers.Suggestions for the Band on a way to handle it's problems with the Duo.The female singer is very defensive of the Duo and the other male singer.The Female singer and Male singer have developed a close ,to me and the Band odd relationship.To me the band is in a no win kind of thing.Helpful suggestions.the Band feels we should just let things as they are and make the best of it?


    Dave A


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  2. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are.

    I'd say not that close of friends.

    What's your goal if you"re going to have a sit down with the singer and her husband?

    They're making more money and working full time without the hassle of the band.

    They've moved on and you"re getting the crumbs. Since the band is booked only when the duo is not, seems that the band is just a fill-in for the dou's schedule.

    If you look at it another way, what if you and the bass player started another band and it was interfering with you current band? How would that go down?
  3. Hmm. It looks to me like its time for you to find another good working band to fill the void.
  4. Growlmonkee


    Jan 30, 2013
    Florida, U.S.
    It's very nice to be a duo and have a full band at your disposal should you require one, I know a couple of duo's that have a band they can call on sometimes. If your only gig is to be that sometimes full band, and you are not happy with that.... have a sit-down conversation with everyone there, keep it genuine and friendly (they are all your band mates), and friends, tell them you require a full time gig, and do not leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth, find a new gig, and stay friends.
  5. chuckNC


    Aug 21, 2012
    Sounds like the duo is all too happy to leave things like they are now. Who wouldn't like to have their cake and eat it too? Of course, they are probably wondering how long they can keep the other 4 of you on the string. They have to figure that it will only last so long with the band.

    How long is up to you, but they're prepared to go on alone if the rest of you put your foot down. That means you won't have too much leverage in a sit-down with them. So it may be time for you guys to start looking for their replacements, if that's feasable. If not, it's just a matter of time before it's over for the band. Respect will only decrease if you let them know you don't like the situation but stay available anyway. Things are heading down a bad road, I'm afraid.
  6. That is a very good summary in a few replies.

    Your "friends" are taking you for a ride. The split will either be friendly or ugly depending how you do it.

    Or carry on with the crumbs.
  7. theduke1

    theduke1 Supporting Member

    Dec 22, 2010
    Manitowoc WI
    Serving two two masters never works. One or the other is left standing at some point.
    Move on to new real friends and musical partners.
  8. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv

    If that how your friends treat you, I'd hate to see how people that don't like you treat you.
  9. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    I think you're already on your way to quitting the band. I suggest you keep it as is for the moment but start looking for options, either move on to a new band or talk to the current band about new members.
  10. Davesound


    Apr 30, 2013

    Is there any way I can send these reply's to the rest of the band? via e-mail.I'm not to good with this stuff!


    Dave A
  11. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Showing them someone else's opinion will not carry much weight. I would suggest a band meeting - NOT at a gig or practice, where you discuss priorities.

    Simple. If that is their position, the others are going to get replacements who will make the band their #1, and you ask them to stay on until you find their replacements. They should be willing to do that. If they are not, they are gone. Immediately.

    Several years ago, I had to leave a band that was too busy (2 gigs or more every weekend), and areas too far away for me to travel. I stayed on until they found someone, and even subbed a few times after.
  12. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    The way I see, they have started an outside project and are off doing other things. So what's good for the goose is good for the gander; if I were in this situation, I'd be looking for some other group to do other things with (like gig regularly) myself. That doesn't have to mean breaking up this group; if they say they have a gig for the full band, go ahead and play it. If your other project hasn't already booked the date, that is. And if they complain... all you've done is exactly what they did, so they can't really justify complaining, can they?
    AltGrendel likes this.
  13. and there's the answer....
  14. Do any of the band sing lead vocal part-time, well enough? Then you need a proper lead singer for the majority and your new band undercuts the old band.
  15. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.

    Yes, since they've formed a duo independent of their band, maybe it's time you formed another quartet or quintet independent of their band too. Start promoting yourselves and booking your own gigs. It certainly seems like your schedule has opened up and you could use some more gigs.

    Just book your band. Let them call you when they need you. Hopefully you'll be available. Maybe call them when you need them for one of your gigs. Best of luck to you.

    Thank you for your indulgence,

  16. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    First off, I wouldn't go assuming maliciousness. If you guys have been together for 7-8 years, I doubt that the singers were pretending to like you so that they could use you to secretly develop a duo act and leave you guys out of the picture. Bands evolve, and people come and go, it's the nature of the business. But, I don't know these people. So, OP, do you really think that they did this? Do you really think they are out to intentionally screw you?

    The truth is that a duo is easier to book in certain places. They don't cost as much, don't take up as much space, and aren't as loud as a full band. For places not set up for live music, which is most places nowadays, a duo may work out better. Would you prefer that they booked the band in a bagel shop where you lugged in a bunch of PA to perform in a 3x3 corner for hours only to be told all night to turn down with the results being $150 split 4 ways and not being asked back?

    One philosophy that I've adopted over the years to avoid this type of aggravation is that people are free to pursue their musical bliss. That is why I like working with bands that are comfortable using subs, and players who play in other bands. The pressure is off me to provide their musical bliss and/or keep everyone as busy as they want to be.

    Many of my friends are musicians. I am not in a band with most of them. My friendship doesn't preclude them being in a band with me, or making my band a priority. I want my friends to do well and have fun playing music, and if that means doing another project or act, so be it. I hope they call me if they need a sub.

    If I were you, I'd just talk to them since you're friends anyway. Propose options and see what their take is. You may even get a win-win situation. Maybe you can get a new singer and guitarist, and hubby can book that band under a different name and make more money. You can join another band, and play in the current band when there's work. They may even come up with ideas too. Just don't put the friendship on the line due to the music. IME, bands are easier to find than good friends.
  17. lowfreq33


    Jan 27, 2010
    Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification
    This is why it's good to be able to sing and play acoustic guitar.
  18. MrLenny1


    Jan 17, 2009
    Time to move on. Duo's are it lately.
    My old 6 piece band is now a duo.
    No work for a band so two of them continued.
    Wish I could sing.
  19. Factor88


    Jun 21, 2011
    Finally, after a bunch of "Real friends wouldn't do this to you" replies, Jive as usual interjects some level headedness.

    You know, I think a real friend would be happy for his friend's financial success. A SMART friend might even learn a lesson about the music business and the realities and challenges of trying to eek out even part-time cash as a performing musician. A smart and adaptable friend would then find a mature way to move the situation in a direction that was mutually profitable while continuing the friendship.