The only woman in the band

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Paulabass, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    Things female musicians hear/put up with, and life on the road as the only woman in the band.
    -There's only one dressing room. All the guys have seen your boobs so many times they don't look anymore.
    -Soundmen 'mansplaining' things. This is your cable, it goes to the p.a., does your amp have a three prong thingy on the back?
    - How many times can three guys in a van fart in just 350 miles?
    - If I bitch about the hollow stage, the 45 year old p.a., or the drunk soundman, it is NOT that time of the month!
    - Hearing 'You play real good...for a girl'☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
  2. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Inactive

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Ha! I did quite a few shows backing a female singer with a bunch of other dudes. I don't wish that on any woman. And we all love her like family. She was a good sport.
    btmpancake, Stumbo and kesslari like this.
  3. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    It's not that bad. I learned to enjoy dirty jokes, drink beer from the bottle, and pee standing up.
    Beamrider, GregC, Insederec and 17 others like this.
  4. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.
    Hi Ms. @Paulabass,

    You'd be treated like a lady in my band, except for perhaps the farting thing. :p

    Did you know that the average person farts about 14 times a day. My band likes being above average at something.

    But seriously, Kelly is more risque than anyone else in the band. We are all gentlemen around her. But then we don't really "tour". We go out of town for a couple days once in a while. Sometimes we'll have 10-15 dates in a month so it seems like we see each other pretty much every day. We keep it civil.

    I'm glad you can joke about it. I bet I'd like working with you. Take care. Break a leg!

    Thank you for your indulgence,

  5. Hi, this is a fun topic! The things us girl bass players go through. :)

    The sound guys, most definitely! Especially they way they 'review' my gear. My Sadowsky Metro and Sadowsky pre-amp/DI are 'Eastern European crap' and the DI on the back of my Glockenklang amp not to be trusted.

    The guys in the bands are real troupers though (except a few). Funny and they mostly keep their farts inside.

    We just show them and groove are as*** off, right? Support the band and make everybody dance. Even some of the sound guys will admit after the gig it kind of sounded OK. :)

    - Alice
    Beamrider, GregC, Strung_Low and 8 others like this.
  6. darkwasthenight


    Oct 17, 2010
    My current singer gets a new admirer at every single show we play; the girls are always stunning too. She's band leader and plays on the andro thing pretty heavy which I think helps her avoid most of the obvious 'girl in a band' ********. We do get a few surprised comments when people speak to us after the show and realise she's female though.

    I actually prefer playing in mixed bands these days - not without it's problems but generally less likely to get stupid butting heads over egos (if only out of embarrassment about fighting in front of the ladies).
    GregC and Ghostinthemach like this.
  7. Oren Hudson

    Oren Hudson

    Dec 25, 2007
    Gastonia, NC
    Looks like you're a recent sign-on here at TB, so here's you a welcome from North Carolina. Great early post. From Go-Go dancer, keyboardist, flautist and vocalist in my bands over the years, all have been super, even in those "time of the month situations." :)
    StyleOverShow and bassestkkm like this.
  8. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    I always put in a request that the woman fart first. Used to always do that with girlfriends too.

    Regarding the boob thing - I remember an interesting moment with a beautiful Belgian singer I was doing shows with. She became a good friend, but it didn't matter. She was changing in a tiny little closet of a French restaurant we were playing in and I had to ask her something. I went to ask her through the door, she said I can't hear you - then opened the door, smiled and pulled me in. It was a strange yet tantalizing minute that's still, well... hard to erase from my psyche. She wasn't coming onto me or anything, just playing a bit of a teasing game... yeah...

    Not sure why I felt the need to share that, but there it is.

    It's the flip side of the woman I toured with who brought a sleeping bag and PJs to sleep in, on top of the bed in our hotel room. Woman #1 trusted me. #2 didn't know me well.
  9. Wisebass


    Jan 12, 2017
    Lost in Space
    Hi Paula :) welcome to TB

    what a funny post (for a girl ;) :laugh:)

    the fart solution.jpg

    feel free to ask for other solutions :thumbsup:

    and don' t let them guys ever get their shoes off in the band' s van

    may the bass be with you


  10. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    What wonderful responses!
    Working with guys is great, and everybody gets along. It is easier for me to become one of the guys, than to ask them to femme up (although for some reason they always want to try on my clothes)
    I really don't give a damn if they leave the seat up. Just don't ask me if I can play the theme to Sienfeld.
    jfh2112, GregC, Insederec and 11 others like this.
  11. japhy4529

    japhy4529 this is only a test...

    Welcome to TB! I hope you're enjoying that Spector ReBop. :bassist:

    I've played in bands with many women over the years (a few singers, drummer, guitarist and a bassist back when I played rhythm guitar very poorly for several years). All were great to work with and were generally more pleasant than the guys I've worked with over the years. The dressing room thing was never an issue as if I recall everyone wore their stage clothes to the gig (which in my case was often what I wore that day - perhaps w/ a nice clean shirt).
    comatosedragon likes this.
  12. comatosedragon

    comatosedragon Gold Supporting Member

    Oct 12, 2014
    Rockingham VA {616}
    I'm not trying to sound insensitive here; so I hope it doesn't come off that way. I am genuinely curious.
    Why the need to take your boobs out before a show?
    JaseyT likes this.
  13. Ha great stuff! Everyone wanted to make out with our singer in the day.
    Me too -but i wanted to drink more....
    She was super fun. There she is on the far right.
    Good times. She went and married a sub drummer we had one day.
  14. Paulabass


    Sep 18, 2017
    I'm really old school. I have different clothes for on-stage than for street wear. Also, if you had 'em, you'd take them out too ;)
    GregC, Strung_Low, beatnut and 21 others like this.
  15. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.

    Ha! Yes, I've been told the girls get cranky and uncomfortable being cooped up all day. :smug:

    Welcome to TalkBass. It's a cool hang.

    Thank you for your indulgence,

    jwilson67 likes this.
  16. EdwardofHuncote

    EdwardofHuncote I Still Dream of Jeannie Supporting Member

    Aug 21, 2013
    Welcome to TalkBass. Already met you on the Phil Lesh thread...

    FWIW, I've played in bands with girls/women for years, and as far as I know, it's never been a problem for either of us. Personally, I kinda' enjoy having a female there, if for no other reason than to provide some degree of testosterone buffering.

    Comes down to manners... some got 'em, some ain't.
    design likes this.
  17. Joedog


    Jan 28, 2010
    Pensacola FL
    Welcome, and a great, funny first post. I worked w/a female singer for a good 5 years or so. She was pretty outgoing, and had no problems hanging w/the guys. She could fart like one too! :woot:
  18. dan1952

    dan1952 Commercial User

    Jun 27, 2012
    Anderson IN
    Artist Endorsement with Supro Huntington Basses / Owner, Dan's Music, Inc..
    Worked for years, in various bands, with the same female singer. The best shotgun rider I ever had, great conversationalist at 3 in the morning driving down the road, always helped with equipment, fine sense of humor, etc...The last few years (with other bands) has apparently become quite the diva, glad I missed out on that version...Welcome to Talk Bass!
  19. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    It's always more fun to play in bands with at least one female member. More is better, especially female instrumentalists. There's always the stereotypical female singer, not that singers aren't musicians, but I'm always really happy to play in a band with a woman who plays drums, guitar, keys, or whatever.

    None of the women I have been in bands with have ever shown me any skin. Oh, well. They sure have instigated the bawdy comments level at times, though.
  20. Holdsg

    Holdsg Talkbass > Work Gold Supporting Member

    Sep 10, 2009
    Alta Loma, CA
    the rhythm section in my HS jazz band was 3 females plus me, the solo male. made me appreciate having female bandmates ever since.
    BassCliff likes this.