well, in the spirit of "the cat in the hat plays a ric with no pick" i thought i'd post another Seuss-inspired tale for your pleasure. this one is true, btw. Well, my arm you've been twistin, so i'm sure you'll be listenin To the tale of a bass that was gooey and glistening From a thin coat applied by a drunk who'was denied Of much forward momentum as he shook, side to side With the tragic misstep of this blind-drunken schlepp My fretless was doused - did it suck, I say Yep! I warn you right now, this gets naughty, and how! But you asked and you asked, so this tale I'll allow. It was ten years ago, ah, the memories now flow Of those days of sweet halcyon, so long ago Ah those sweet college days, and my hellion ways, To revisit them now, i would pays and would pays. But the peace of my youth, to end so uncouth Was quite jarring and marring, to tell you the truth T'was a cold Wednesday night, i was at open Mic Free jazz and improv with whoever i like I was there with my date, who had been a bit late, She was getting her friend, and had joined me past 8 Now, Anita was fun, and she was my first one My first, that is, who was almost 41 (yrs old) Before you shriek "Ack" you should know she was Stacked And with Ideas and Stamina too, she was packed T'was her plan to get me, and her friend to make three Can you believe it? Teen boy fantasy, and all for free!! I was still just a lad, t'was my goal to be bad And when i saw her and her friend, boy was i glad You see Terry was tall, and she had big cannon balls, She and Anita strode in like two leather-clad dolls While I'm waiting to play, with my two dates, I parlay The plans for the evening, and then the next day (hoo boy!) When a drunken bald fool, trying to act real cool Bangs into the table as he tries to pull up a stool My water goes "Sploooosh!" (i don't drink alchohol) But the "girls" both have beer, and they both take a fall Splash onto the case! Seeps onto the bass! There is beer dripping now all over the place! I am shrieking and growling, the drunk's laughing and yowling The floor, with his blood, i am planning on fouling When the two ladies stand, and Terry gives me her hand As Anita leaves for some towels to demand As I wipe up that sh*t, the "girls" giggle a bit Then they both grab my arms and then force me to sit Then, one on each side, they were mauling my hide As the drunk was just watching, his eyes opened wide Kissing and squeezing, on my neck they were teasing And i knew that soon there would be more serious pleasing This lasted a while, then we got up and smiled And left the dark place, with swagger and style In the Lot! In the Car! Right outside of the Bar! I'm amazed that we were able to drive very far Now I'd been with some girls, and a few were real pearls But after that night, I was a man of the world (or so i thought at the time) With this clear portrayal, I'd best end this tale Before I say any more and it lands me in jail b.t.w. the bass still smells of beer, 10 years later.