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The power of words

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by ryco, Dec 22, 2006.


  1. ryco

    ryco

    Apr 24, 2005
    97465
    From a recent "Dilbert Quotes" contest. People submitted quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. Some of the top quotes in corporate America:


    "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

    "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)

    E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

    This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

    Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

    "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

    Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
    (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

    My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

    We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
     
  2. bassthumpa

    bassthumpa

    Aug 31, 2004
    Austin, TX
    LOL, those are great!
     
  3. nad

    nad 60 Cycle Humdinger Commercial User

    Sep 22, 2005
    Not Mars
    The Overlord of Nordstrand Pickups
    Those make me laugh as much as they make me cry.

    [/corporate sellout]
     
  4. RWP

    RWP

    Jul 1, 2006
    All good but this is great!

    "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."

    "We the willing lead by the unknowing are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
    We have done so much for so long with so little we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."
     
  5. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    This is old.....old old. Yeah, old like old. :D

    But, it is funny.

    -Mike
     
  6. Old like father time? Or old like dirt?

    ~K
     
  7. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA

    Well, older than your great grandpas buckskin rubber. :eek:

    -Mike
     

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