The re-tap

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by 210superair, Jun 8, 2020.

  1. 210superair


    Sep 10, 2019
    So I walked from a band right before the covid hit. Guitar player was kind of booted/quit, and I just followed out the door basically. Kinda felt drama-ish.
    Still buddies with the remaining 3, and I invited them over for some cocktails and porch jamming Friday. We sounded really great, and it did feel decompressed with the gp gone, as he was generally the impetus for drama. Still, there were other reasons I quit. Being gone every weekend for far away gigs, etc, was wearing on me with a 5 yo son.

    Anyway, we jammed, sounded great, and they want me back. The bl asked how I felt after jamming and I told him it was like sex with the ex! Lol. Awesome, but do I really want to be involved again?

    Anyone experienced similar and rejoined a project you'd left? How'd it work out? Advice?
    Nashrakh likes this.
  2. Nashrakh


    Aug 16, 2008
    Hamburg, Germany
    I've once quit a band that later re-formed as a different band and then rejoined. Mostly same personnel.

    Would never do that again. The music was different, but the underlying issues weren't - which in both cases were the lack of creative input they wanted from me, and the lack of discipline on their part. The guys were hacking away at the same repertoire for ages and it was a constant uphill battle because no one bothered to learn their parts on their own time. So they never take my suggestions, and rehearsals were re-learning the same stuff over and over on songs I had no choice in (and I downright hated some). Add to that the drummer being a total douchebag towards me and you have a recipe for a frustrated bass player.

    I only joined and re-joined both bands because my best friend (great player, great guy) wanted me to. When I quit the second time, and he later moved away, the band was done. They just lost the two actual musicians in the band, they took a while to find replacements for a new project. However, personality and age-wise, the new guys are better fits. So it works out for everyone in the end.

    Regarding the 'sex with your ex' remark, I can relate. It's awful and you don't want to run head first into a wall you can see from a mile away.
    210superair likes this.
  3. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Sounds like your issue isn't with the band, but the schedule (I've been there, family comes first). Consider having a talk with your spouse/SO and decide how much time you can give to the project. Offer that to the band.
    oldrocker and 210superair like this.
  4. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    If it was down to personal issues, just as in relationships, the Italians use the term; "Reheated cabbage..."
    210superair likes this.
  5. 210superair


    Sep 10, 2019
    I was indeed considering that, and telling them I'll play close stuff, maybe a few travel gigs, but I won't be down for some stuff. They may be OK with that....
  6. mrcbass


    Jan 14, 2016
    Sacramento, CA
    I've only walked away from one gigging band. I'd consider hooking up again if rehearsal schedules could be worked out between them and my current band. The reason I walked was fairly minor and could probably be overlooked, but I would be wary of the issue again. I'd definitely sub for them if asked.

    There's a reason you parted ways with a band - I think it's important that you consider what those reasons are. Have they been resolved? Are they still important to you? I think your analogy regarding "sleeping with an ex" is good and you should be wary of rejoining a situation without serious thought.