The TB Over-50 Bassplayer's Club......

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by ZenG, Nov 19, 2015.


  1. Yes...it's finally here!

    You can be a member.....but you'll need to qualify first......here's how:-

    (1) You need to be 50 years of age or older

    (2) You must not have purchased a new musical recording of any kind in at least ten years.

    (3) You agree that kids these days know nothing about music.

    (4) The last five concerts you've played or been to were at old-age homes.

    (5) You have at least one lawn that you keep in good condition.

    (6) You must have almost nutted yourself at least twice when you bent over to pick dandelions off it.

    (7) If you're a female player you must have split the butt out of your pants at least twice doing the same thing.

    (8) You never turn your amp past "5"

    (9) You have two basses...one is a Fender P, the other is a Squier Bronco. You always take the Bronco to gigs, but whenever anybody asks you tell them you bought it for your grandson and you're just sort of breaking it in for him.

    (10) At every gig you start off a song with " a one and a two and a three and a four..."

    (11) After the second song you announce "we're gonna take a little break now..."

    (12) At gigs you don't take tips. Whenever somebody offers you a monetary gratuity you reply " Oh no..really....no.....we're just here to help out......but thank you kindly...."

    (13) Halfway through a set you step to the mic and say " We're gonna turn it up a notch for ya'"
    and then your band plays a 95 bpm screamer.......

    (14) You tried rapping once........but couldn't remember what the hell you were talking about.....

    (15)...When asked if you've ever heard of Green Day you reply " I put my recycleables out by the curb every Tuesday "

    (16) You believe that Elvis is the greatest singer that ever lived...except for maybe Celine Dion...

    (17) You wrap up every gig with a rousing sing along of " If You're Happy And You Know It..."

    (18) You gave up fingers 10 years ago and always use a pick for bass..

    (19) Your band drummer only uses 2 beats.......4/4 and 3/4......for everything.

    (20) You milk the "Goodnight everybody and thanks for coming" for all its worth. You introduce everybody in the band and tell a little story about them and how they came to be and how you all got together.....the whole thing takes almost as long as one set and by the time you're finished the only person left in the room is the clean-up janitor....

    (21) You never use wireless mics because RF interference makes your hearing-aids squeal...

    (22) Your band hasn't sold a single cd, which are in a box right by the stage...but things are looking up.....

    (23) Your band thinks "Goodnight Irene" is the new "Stairway To Heaven".
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2015
    Gaolee likes this.
  2. bholder

    bholder Affable Sociopath Supporting Member

    Sep 2, 2001
    Vestal, NY
    Received a gift from Sire* (see sig)
    Well crud, I bought a new recording (of an old concert) within the last 10 years. Guess I'm out. :( Such stringent requirements! :D
     
    S-Bigbottom likes this.
  3. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather

    Guess I don't qualify other than being over 50! :(
     
    pcake, jerry, BassChuck and 1 other person like this.
  4. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    You missed one:
    You always have a rider on your contract that says the stage can't be more than 20' from the bathroom.
     
  5. RED J

    RED J Lol

    Jan 23, 2000
    You will get more members if you raise the age to 70. :sleep:
     
  6. I think 16 and 22 eliminate the OP, that's some new fangled stuff I've never heard of. Nobody has sung worth a pile of beans since Dennis hung up his microphone. I still listen to my phonograph recordings of him from time to time, whenever I can get a youngster to wind up the Victrola for me.
     
  7. SJLee

    SJLee Supporting Member

    Nov 7, 2007
    NoVA
    What? I would have responded to this thread sooner but it's a bear making it up the steps these days to get to the Macintosh.
     
  8. s0c9

    s0c9 Supporting Member

    Jan 9, 2014
    Ft.Worth/Dallas
    1964 Audio artist, Fractal Audio Beta Tester
    Other than age... there's not much in that list that I qualify for...
    especially #9 :banghead::banghead:

    Had to run and get my glasses when I got that far down the list!
     
  9. bluesblaster

    bluesblaster

    Jan 2, 2008
    get off my lawn
     
  10. boiled carrots, and prunes
     
  11. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    What's it to ya punk
     
  12. MD

    MD

    Nov 7, 2000
    Marin Co. CA.
    I have to slip into a pair of Depends for our Tony Orlando medley, does that count?
     
  13. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    Irene might be the name of the girl you had a crush on in grade school, not a scary teacher you had in grade school.
     
  14. approval.jpg
     
  15. Meh, that's an old picture.

    We haven't looked that good in years.
     
    S-Bigbottom likes this.
  16. IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOUR EYES ARE O.K.

    If you can't read this then you need glasses..

    This is a free eye test for TB "Over 50" bass players......
     
  17. CrashClint

    CrashClint I Play Bass therefore I Am

    Nov 15, 2005
    Wake Forest, NC
    DR Strings Dealer (local only)
    I have at least the 50 part covered.
     
  18. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    Well, that all "Depends"! :laugh:
     
    S-Bigbottom and Gravedigger Dav like this.
  19. roundwounds.png
     
  20. Grumpy-old-people-Sept-2015-sized.png
     
    ChrisB2 likes this.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Jul 25, 2021

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