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The Tipsy Bass Player Einsteinian syndrome

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by foudufafa, Jan 31, 2014.

  1. foudufafa

    foudufafa Supporting Member

    Aug 28, 2013
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Now folks, this world changing thread is really about proving the world that bass players are not just a bunch of Lebowski's but that we all have a science gene in our DNA.

    I am a living room player and while I can understand that booze can relieve your fear of playing in public, I am finding that I am turning into Jaco after a mere few gulps of my favorite fermented libation. But am I really?

    Are my fingers really sticking to the rhythm more accurately or is my perception of rhythm completely altered? Are the tips of my fingers hitting the strings at exactly the right place or has the alcohol in my blood made me completely oblivious to false notes?

    So what is the verdict? Is booze curving space and time or making me a super(bass)man?
  2. mrb327


    Mar 6, 2013
    Nobody Knows
    How much have you had to drink this morning?
  3. kohntarkosz

    kohntarkosz Banned

    Oct 29, 2013
    Edinburgh - Scotland
    Record a show and find out!
  4. I'd say one or two drinks might help you relax if you're super nervous and tense about playing live but more than 2 drinks, you tend to become more bumble-fingered and delusional about your playing prowess...
  5. Based on the title of this thread I would say the OP is a "Big Bang Theory" fan.
  6. I'll respond later, after several beers. At that point Im sure to be a genius
  7. Ukiah Bass

    Ukiah Bass Supporting Member

    May 10, 2006
    Generally I find that musicians who get drunk and then perform always sound much better .... to themselves and a crowd of drunks.
  8. hennessybass

    hennessybass Supporting Member

    Oct 11, 2008
    North East Texas
    If you are drunk, then you are not playing well, even though you think you are. If you are high, then you are not playing well, even though you REALLY think you are.

    Getting the band somewhere between sober and buzzed, and the audience drunk is the key to sounding good!! ;)
  9. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    It's not about playing well, it's about selling high end liquor. If you can get a roomful of people to purchase, and imbibe high priced drinks at the bar, and you are leading by example, then I say you are doing a heck of a job!

    If you're playing a high paying gig at a festival where selling drinks aint your business, then you should probably be straight as a pin and try to upstage the headliner. Unless of course you are the headliner. In that case by all means.......
  10. True story:

    I had some friends that decided to start getting very high while rehearsing. They were all pretty good musicians and they played really well together. At some point they decided to record their jams , while high, in order to get some awesome trippy material. They were also curious if they actually did play that well while high, so the recordings would also help them decide that.

    So they went to their room, set up a recording device, got extra-high and started jamming. Six hours later, after a successful landing they went home to sleep. The next morning they all decided to never do this again. They got so high, they forgot to press record...
  11. kcole4001


    Oct 7, 2009
    Nova Scotia
    If you're the headliner, then it's your job to get all hammered up and facilitate the openers upstaging you, thus continuing the cycle of the young showing up and replacing the old.

  12. LOL :D Just snotted coffee out my nose.... Missed this device, luckily.

    Short term memory problems, no? I, for one, know I do NOT perform well under the influence. Experience has taught me this. I have nursed exactly ONE beer a set to combat dry mouth when I played trumpet and trombone back in the day. That was it for me, after experimenting (briefly) with excess.

    "A man's got to know his limits." Everyone's got one. That's mine. YMMV. Hope you've got a designated driver.... :ninja:
  13. foudufafa

    foudufafa Supporting Member

    Aug 28, 2013
    Virginia Beach, VA
    So I am a cheap drunk and I am really talking about say 1 tequila shot (maybe 2 max). The only place I perform is my living room and for my number 1 fan, Arthur, my hamster. I did record myself a few times and have noticed that my tempo is better. Ps: never saw that big bang thing but I must confess a touch of geekiness.
  14. rust_preacher


    Dec 17, 2009
    I find it best when each band member is about at the same level. I once played guitar in a band where we had to watch out for the bass player to not pass out before we got on. I also had to drive, one time, right after a gig so I played sober while the rest of the band was happily careless about whether they drank or not. Neither of these experiences was a good one.

    I have found that 1.5 beers before the gig, and the other half of the remainder, during, is quite optimal for me.
  15. After much research and experimentation, I think the following formulas will assist with your quest for understanding on this matter.

    For your reference:
    MI = Musician Inebriation
    AI = Audience Inebriation
    BS = Bad Sound
    MS = Mediocre Sound
    GS = Great Sound

    So, apply these formulas to determine your Real Sound (RS)

    MI > AI = BS

    MI ∝ AI = MS

    MI < AI = GS

    Now for homework answer even numbered questions 1-40 on page 243 of your text book. :D
  16. OogieWaWa


    Mar 17, 2013
    Oak Harbor, OH
    Alcohol's effects vary, inhibition goes away more quickly than coordination; muscles initially relax sooner, too. The effects aren't linear. So some activities can be stable or improve for a drink or two before the other effects start to take over at higher levels.

    Likewise, learning is very conditional; if you always have a beer or two in the evening when you practice, then you'll play your best by doing the same.

    Not quite sure where the sense of rhythm fits into that; never seen it mentioned in learning theory, but alcohol doesn't impact time perception as much as some other drugs until you consume quite a bit.

    So, anyway, I'm not saying that being drunk would make you better by any means, and after three or four drinks you'll definitely start getting worse, depending on personal tolerance. That pretty much correlates with the legal BAC limit for commercial driving at 0.4%. But anyone that thinks you'll start to suck as soon as you take your first drink isn't really correct either.
  17. slagbass


    Apr 5, 2005
    Fixed it for ya. :)
  18. kevteop


    Feb 12, 2008
    York, UK
    I'm always driving so I don't even have the opportunity to drink when I'm gigging or rehearsing, but I have got drunk at shows when I was younger and it's never made me a better player, put it that way.
  19. sparkyfender2


    Nov 25, 2013
    I think this is a pretty astute observation!
  20. This is better than Y=f(x)+e...
    for the 6sigma quality geeks....