Bass brothers, I have made a discovery which may end up getting me killed. I wish to share it with you before this happens. 1. My girlfriend, while visiting me at college, said that one of the girls that I hung out with liked me. How she figured this out, I had no idea. There were no signs of it to the average (read: male) observer. Sure enough, about 2 months later, it becomes obvious that this college friend has a thing for me. 2. In discussing this idea with a male friend at college (Whitney), he said that his girlfriend (who lives 1500 miles away at an all-girls school) told him the same sort of thing about another girl at our college. At this point, the girlfriend had only visited once, only met our group of friends once. Again, there were no outward appearances of the girl having a thing for Whitney, but sure enough, a few months later, it comes into the open. 3. Whitney and I decided that there must be some sort of back-channel of communication for women. Intuition was not enough - they were somehow combining their intuitions together to basically become omniscient. 4. One night over Winter Break while I was at home, I had a dream in which every girl I've ever met (save for my girlfriend) was collected in a room. At the end of the dream, one of them waved to the other and said the word, "snoop!" The whole room breaks out in this form - it was as if everyone was saying "goodbye," but replaced with "snoop!" (Sort of like the scene in Being John Malkovich where Malkovich goes into his own head, and everyone just says "Malkovich.") 5. While getting ready for the day, I remember this dream and start to wonder about the significance of it. What does "snoop" mean? First, it means to probe. Second, spelled backwards it reads "poons," which is a slang term for the female genitals. 6. I hypothsize that it may perhaps be the name of a website related to the back channel of communication that women must have to know what they know. 7. I come back from break and tell a friend (Dusty) about my dream and theory. Instead of looking at me strangely, he says that there was a report about snoop.com on CNN that morning. Suddenly my hypothesis starts to smell less like a crackpot theory and more like a reflection of reality. 8. We get onto snoop.com and have a look. On the front page of the website, there are pictures of women (no men) playing various sorts of games. "Welcome to your source for gaming information on the net," reads the first sentence. It is my belief that "gaming information" is a metaphor for knowledge about people in general. 9. At this point, we would've probably dismissed it as a coincidence, but among the ten links on the first page, one is "internet detective" and another is "internet spy." 10. My conclusion, from all of these premises, is that snoop.com is a communication channel for women. There must be an email ring, or a secret message board related to this site. They do not discuss "gaming," but they discuss things that only they should know - they are sharing their intutions with each other. They know everything. Be afraid, men. Your multi-millenia dominance is about to end.