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The war and my band.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by nirvanabassguy, Mar 6, 2003.

  1. I have a pressing dilima facing me and my guitarist. See, our drummer is in the marine corps resevers, and he was activated last week. They say he will be gone for 6 months to 1 year, but no one knows for sure. He specifically told us not to replace him, but we like to play out and we don't think we can make it a year without a gig. my guitarist(mike) and drummer(michael) have been playing togeather for 5 years or so and i have only been there for a year, but i am a far superior player to our drummer. Mike and i were thinking that this could be a pefect time to find a better drummer and blame it on iraq. the only problem is what happens when he comes back? we have all been good friends since we were in grade school, and michael is my former roommate. How do we tell him, "dude, we found a better drummer while you were gone and you can't play with us anymore." with out getting him pissed off at us.

    Then there is allways the possibility that we won't find a better drummer...who knows?
  2. Pacman

    Pacman Layin' Down Time Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2000
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
    Grow a pair. Either tell he's not good enough, or let him back in when he gets back, but don't be a coward.
  3. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Reach between son! Go get another drummer! You sound like a broad that's promising to wait for her man, even though he wasn't a good lover!

    Sorry, I'm also a vet, so I have flashbacks from time to time.
  4. not that simple,

    we need to do this in the most non-abrasive, least upsetting way possible. we still want micael to remain friends with us....if we said, "dude you suck and we are replacing you." he would get pissed off.
  5. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    On a more serious note, it's unfair to you not to have a gig for a year. If it were me, I'd understand if my bands got another bassist to fill in. They wouldn't be as good, but at least they'd be able to play out. ;)
  6. TxBass


    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    I agree with you that it's not just a simple "you're out" thing. But...I've been on a few deployments before, and one that went from 6 months to much much longer than that...so, I would tell him that you are gonna try and get someone to play with you while he's gone so you can gig(based upon what you posted, this is a true statement to him)---the rest you can worry about when he returns. You may find a replacement for him, you may not. Deal with it when it happens rather than severing your friendship and making a decision you might regret.

    plus...maybe during his "trip" he'll suddenly gain the skills he's lacked all this time...;) or not.
  7. Why not start a "side-project" with a new drummer and your current guitarist? That way, you can still play with Michael when he gets back from the Navy.
  8. The crazy thing about your situation is our band is in the same one. Our drummer is in the Air Force. He's done his 4+ years and then some. He is currently in school and will be finished this June. He decided to go to officer training, which starts this July and he won't be back for 4 years. Bummer. We finally found our groove and now we're gonna have to start from square one again.:(

    Such is life.
  9. Gabu


    Jan 2, 2001
    Lake Elsinore, CA
    I think the side project thing is a good idea. I think it's ironic that you like him too much to hurt his feelings but you don't like him enough to give him a chance to get better. You also don't seem to like him enough to give him a clue that you are thinking of replacing him... some pal... :rolleyes:
  10. ZuluFunk

    ZuluFunk Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2001
    Navy : Marines :: Tomato : Tomahto


    IF he sucks, you should have told him a while ago.

    But you didn't and now he'll be away for a while. You want to use that as an excuse to let him go.

    If he were taking time off to help raise a child, work nights to save up to pay off his credit card, go to school, whatever...would you do the same thing?

    What about the tables turning where you were taking time away from the band and they wanted to replace you permanently? How would you want to find out?

    IMO, tell him you're going to keep the band going with a new drummer so you don't have to cancel gigs. When he comes back, if he still wants to play, but the new drummer is a better fit, play with the old drummer in a different project.

    "Dude, we found a better drummer while you were gone, but you can still play with us."
  11. We have tried to let him get better, we'll be like, "hey man i don't hink the drums speed up and slow down like that" or, "i'm not sure that that sounds right, why don't you listen to the song some more?" its not like he is god awful, we gig alot. We did tell him we were going to try to find some one to play with while he was gone. He said he was cool with that as long as we kicked the new drummer to the curb when he returned.

    I think i will take txbass's advice to just deal with it when he returns.
  12. Great idea....why didn't we think of that?:confused: I'm gonna use it.
  13. Ben Mishler

    Ben Mishler

    Jan 22, 2003
    San Jose
    I think that should either go with forming a side project while he is gone, or finding another drummer and worrying about the rest later. Of course, those are really the same thing, but there are no easy answers for this problem. You are going to need to make a decision about this, but you have a year, so decide if it is worth it to play with a good friend who is not that good of a musician, or to play with a better musician who is not as good of a friend.
  14. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    I like the brutally honest approach. You don't have to be mean about it, but tell the truth. "Michael, your kung fu is not good....." etc.