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Then he said "my wife the keyboard player"....

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Jimmy4string, Feb 25, 2019.

  1. I responded to a CL ad for a vocalist in a cover bar band with gigs coming up. Looks pretty good.
    Then the guy said "my wife the keyboard player and other vocalist..."
    I quickly flashed to all the TB threads with horror stories of bands with couples of varying variety.
    I have never actually experienced any of that first hand and these folks seem sane so far in their emails.
    Perhaps i should just check it out and find out on my own? Could it be that bad?!
    murphy, J_Bass, andruca and 9 others like this.
  2. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Big Dogs Staff Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    It could be that bad. Or it might not. I worked with a husband and wife who had gigged successfully together for years, and it was a super low-drama situation.
    Others have had different experiences.
    I say check it out first hand and see what *this* one seems like. One thing to learn is how much band member turnover they have. If the other members are pretty new, it is likely not a very good scene.
  3. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Could be fine. Could be a horror show. Don't rule it out.
    crguti, Winoman, Aqualung60 and 11 others like this.
  4. MattZilla


    Jun 26, 2013
    It could be awful immediately, it could be great seeming for months then slowly turn any one of a thousand different kinds of awful, or they could truly be cool.

    "I'm an employee hired to perform the [whatever] parts for your music production organization"
    instrumentalist and Mr_Moo like this.
  5. @kesslari
    You know you get so much good info on TB -sometimes i wonder if we get to much :)
    Maybe a married couple is fine and the drummer doesnt rush and drag and need to be fired. Maybe there are guitarist that are not too loud :woot:
  6. seilerbird


    Apr 12, 2012
    It worked out well for Fleetwood Mac...
    hardtop, SteveHeissner, edro and 16 others like this.
  7. delta7fred


    Jul 3, 2007
    I had to tell our guitarist to turn up on Saturday night. I like this guy!
  8. lokikallas

    lokikallas Supporting Member

    Aug 15, 2010
    los angeles
    No, it's always bad. Non starter for me.
    Mili, Amano, Mind Eroded and 3 others like this.
  9. Scottgun


    Jan 24, 2004
    South Carolina
    Still worth checking out. It's always the opinionated girlfriends/wives NOT in the band that are the source of trouble. Call it the Yoko Ono Rule. Paul and Linda did fine while she was alive. Junior Brown's wife plays with him iirc. Not an automatic deal-breaker by any means.
    12BitSlab and Jimmy4string like this.
  10. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    The vast majority of the band drama threads don’t have woman causing the problems, but people still bring this up like it’s something to worry about. The worst drama queens I’ve played with have all been male, not to be mistaken for men.
    jrick7, Joebarnes, Alik and 40 others like this.
  11. Oddly

    Oddly Unofficial TalkBass Cartographer! Supporting Member

    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    You'll never know until you try it.
    It might be perfect.
    It might become the definitive horror story.

    As that Tennyson chap wrote ... 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

    Not completely relevant, of course, unless you decide to run off with the guy's wife...:D
  12. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2017
    Meh. Some couples work really well together. Some don't. I worked for many years with a guitarist that I was romantically involved with until I wasn't. We worked together for seven years after we split up. It really depends on the people involved. If the situation seems decent, check it out.
  13. My wife was our church worship leader & I played keys & bass. We survived!
  14. Look on the bright side: if it does turn into a horror show you get to tell us all about it! :hyper:
  15. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    DR Strings
    I've done corporate gigs with a couple of couple-lead units. The money was very good, any drama had nothing to do with them.

    So yeah, if you'd consider avoiding an opportunity based on the assumption that couples are a bad thing...

    you probably should. Because I can't see an upside to leading with that baggage.

    The vast majority of problematic situations I've been in involved individual people. So I guess my advice would be that if you really want to avoid potential problems in music.. avoid people. That could include you. ijs
    40Hz, Jimmy4string, Mr_Moo and 7 others like this.
  16. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    DR Strings
    No, its not .

    So... Yoko was a source of trouble until she was in John's band?
  17. There is only one person who has it figured out, so we might as well give up and let him have the gig.
    DeltaDelta likes this.
  18. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    DR Strings
    What are your thoughts on this?
    DeltaDelta likes this.
  19. Inara

    Inara Fretless Femme Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2017
    Seattle, WA USA
    I've twice played in bands led by a married couple, once about 15 years ago, and now in one of my current bands. Multiple drama-free years in each. The key, I think, is for them to have a healthy relationship and be musically compatible. So I wouldn't rule it out just because of the marriage.
  20. the baint

    the baint

    Jan 1, 2010
    Greenville, SC
    Techtronic Industries, North America employee. Opinions are my own.
    I was the bass / guitar player and my now wife was the lead vocalist of an indie band for a year. Drama only came from some other corners of the band, mostly from maturity and purpose imbalances.
    Jimmy4string likes this.

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