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There's someone in my head, but it's not me...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Anon the Mouse, Apr 13, 2009.


  1. Anon the Mouse

    Anon the Mouse

    Apr 13, 2009
    I'm friggin' HUNGRY!
    Haven't eaten anything all day.
    Don't really have anything left in the house, either; just a lot of "ingredients" that don't mix and can't be eaten on their own.

    There's 2 grocery stores and 2 dozen restaurants within a 10-minute drive, including the McDonalds right across the street, but I can't leave the house.

    I've tried.

    I got as far as getting my shoes and jacket on, then stood at the door with my keys in one hand, the doorknob in the other.
    I couldn't do it.
    I froze.
    I just stand there for what feels like an hour (it very well could be, for all the better I can keep track of time today), telling myself "just open the door and go outside."
    But I can't.
    I can't leave.
    I can't move.
    I can't do anything.

    I'll sit on the edge of the couch, trying to calm myself down, but every time I try to leave, it hits again.

    Take shoes and jacket off in frustration.
    Tell myself I just won't eat today; I'll be fine tomorrow.
    Put shoes and jacket on and try to leave.
    Take shoes and jacket off in frustration.
    Repeat ad infinitum.

    Rapid-cycling type 2 bipolar with an extra dose of severe depression and anxiety attacks.
    No medication for 2 years. No insurance and can't afford it.

    Today is not a good day.

    :bag:
     
  2. bobba66

    bobba66

    May 18, 2006
    Arlington, Texas
    Maybe you could have a pizza delivered?
     
  3. Honesty, if you leave the house right now, you have it beat. IMO. Because then every time that it happens again, you can remind yourself that you did it before and, therefore, can do it again. As someone that thought himself out of depression, the mind can overcome these thing.

    lowsound
     
  4. Anon the Mouse

    Anon the Mouse

    Apr 13, 2009
    No one will change a 50. Don't have anything smaller at the moment. :p
     
  5. Anon the Mouse

    Anon the Mouse

    Apr 13, 2009
    I used to think that way too, and for the longest time, it worked. Then my little bipolar bear (I call him Lenny) said "OH YEAH? Well watch this!"
     
  6. Kenbuntu

    Kenbuntu

    Jun 6, 2005
    Ontario
    How about buying extra pizza so that you won't have to call them up tomorrow? That, or give the guy a huge tip.
     
  7. Anon the Mouse

    Anon the Mouse

    Apr 13, 2009
    When I said "change," I should have said "accept."
    Thanks to some idiot local high school kids and their counterfeit bills a few months ago. :rolleyes:
     
  8. Kenbuntu

    Kenbuntu

    Jun 6, 2005
    Ontario
    Its worth a shot anyway.



    OR



    Get a different set of local high school idiots to buy you some pizza. Tell them that as soon as they get back with the food, they get paid. When they get back w/ the pizza you pay them the counterfeit bills.
    And to be sure, take their cellphones,watches etc, as collateral during their food run.
     
  9. No time like the present to show the bear who has the .306 handy. The mind is a powerful thing, you just need to use it to your advantage.

    lowsound
     
  10. Kenbuntu

    Kenbuntu

    Jun 6, 2005
    Ontario
    look at it the mirror. PRETEND that you're going to punch it but stop before impact. You'll hear/see that puss-burger flinch/wimper. Then it'll know you're boss. That's when you take your keys, and step out of your front door. All you need is a step and you're through.
     
  11. It's not as easy as some people are insinuating. If they felt they mind over matter'd it, then it wasn't to clinical proportions. To tell someone to just "get over it" when they truly can't is a massive blow to some people and incredibly unfair. I do not have any psychiatric diagnoses, but I'm a licensed therapist who works with them day in and day out. I've done that, on one level or another, for about 15 years.

    OP, Where do you live? There are community based mental health clinics all over the country. Getting involved with one can be a godsend. They can assign you a caseworker to assist you in getting some sort of insurance, they can hook you up with a psychiatrist, there are plenty of ways to acquire appropriate meds. Drug companies give out samples by the ton to doctors and clinics, and there are other ways to get the drugs (once prescribed, of course) for free or damn close to free. There are resources to help, whether you have the funding to pay or not.

    If you have any questions or need help, feel free to PM me.
     
  12. Diagnosed clinical, refused meds and thought my way out within several weeks of the diagnoses. The mind is truly powerful, once that is embraced, the rest is easy.

    lowsound
     
  13. Papazita

    Papazita

    Jun 27, 2008
    Ohio
    [​IMG]

    Listen to the man. He knows the history of psychology. He knows everything. Now get a vegetable oil enema and be happy!
     
  14. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Hang in there bro. Have you tried going out the window?
     

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