I'm friggin' HUNGRY! Haven't eaten anything all day. Don't really have anything left in the house, either; just a lot of "ingredients" that don't mix and can't be eaten on their own. There's 2 grocery stores and 2 dozen restaurants within a 10-minute drive, including the McDonalds right across the street, but I can't leave the house. I've tried. I got as far as getting my shoes and jacket on, then stood at the door with my keys in one hand, the doorknob in the other. I couldn't do it. I froze. I just stand there for what feels like an hour (it very well could be, for all the better I can keep track of time today), telling myself "just open the door and go outside." But I can't. I can't leave. I can't move. I can't do anything. I'll sit on the edge of the couch, trying to calm myself down, but every time I try to leave, it hits again. Take shoes and jacket off in frustration. Tell myself I just won't eat today; I'll be fine tomorrow. Put shoes and jacket on and try to leave. Take shoes and jacket off in frustration. Repeat ad infinitum. Rapid-cycling type 2 bipolar with an extra dose of severe depression and anxiety attacks. No medication for 2 years. No insurance and can't afford it. Today is not a good day.