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Things to do at band rehearsals...

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by geoffkhan, Jul 15, 2005.

  1. This some humor thing I was writing a while ago, and I thought it'd be great to post it here to get some additions to it.

    This is based off of stuff I have experienced with playing with bands. I've seen these things happen, but it's funny because it's so true...


    Annoying things to do at band rehearsals:

    1. Start polka jams.
    2. Play everything up a half-step.
    3. Have a volume battle.
    4. "Doodle" incessantly between every song.


    1. Forget your drum key after spending 30 minutes to set your drums up. Insist to drive back home to retrieve it. Take your drums with you.
    2. Purposely speed up/slow down.


    1. When people ask you to play an "A" (or whatever other note) so they can tune, be sure to mess with the pitch wheel.


    1. Do all those guitarist stage tricks (I.E. windmill, Jimi Hendrix tricks, etc.), even though it's just a rehearsal. Act like you're playing for a large crowd.
  2. wait, you forgot one!

    Keyboardist: When people ask you to play an "A" (or whatever other note) so they can tune, be sure to play A sharp.
  3. Hahah! That's great... until you run into someone with perfect pitch. ;)
  4. FriscoBassAce


    Dec 29, 2004
    Frisco, Texas
    Independent Manufacturers Representative

    ALWAYS noodle whenever someone is trying to talk. NEVER turn your volume knob down so that people can hear other's speak.

    Whole Band:

    Get in a big fight over the correct way to do something. Take sides until a big split has been created down the middle.

    Any random member who owns the rehearsal space and the majority of the equipment:

    Claim you've "Seen the Light" and because you have to repent, kick everyone out of the band and start a Christian band.

  5. Seigi


    Jul 3, 2005
    Here's some:

    Play different songs than the rest of the band.

    Keep screwing with your amp settings in the middle of a song

    Keep "accidentally" unplugging all the non-acoustic instruments while playing

    If you're the vocalist, keep yawning while singing

    Eat while playing

    If you're the guitarist (or if you're using a pick), keep losing your pick

    Play the song backwards

    Tune all your strings to the same exact note
  6. oldfclefer

    oldfclefer low ended

    May 5, 2005
    Southern Ohio
  7. DaveDeVille

    DaveDeVille ... you talkin' to me ?? Supporting Member

    1. singers -- be sure to bring plenty of beer , just make sure you throw
    the empty bottles on the floor { not the trash can }...
    oh yeah , and forget to bring your mic's ... just use the
    bass player's , he's only gonna use it to sing backup anyway ...

    2. drummers -- smoke plenty of ganja before you arrive ,
    then be sure to complain that the bass player
    is missing the breaks ...

    3. guitarist -- constantly ask the bassist for a ride to practice , cuz' gas is "just to expensive "...
    and yeah , we all know your amp "goes to eleven" ...try turning it up to twelve , ok?
    { maybe just a little louder , please ? }

    4. bassist -- try to keep your sanity .
  8. D.A.R.K.

    D.A.R.K. Supporting Member

    Aug 20, 2003
    1.argue about terminology
    2.bong hits
    3.break for coffee
  9. we call that "guitar voice" at my band practice.
  10. Mickey Shane

    Mickey Shane what goes here?

    Feb 23, 2003
    Denton, Texas
    Guitariests: Make sure and leave your distortion pedal on between songs. That 60dB static hum is really pleasant and relaxing sounding.
  11. Gomez

    Gomez Live from the Shire

    Apr 15, 2005
    It's old I know, but farting near the drummer always gives me a chuckle.
  12. I love it when drummers need to take a piss, smoke some weed, make a phone call or a sandwich between every song.

    @#@$#%$ $%@%$ DRUMMERS! :spit:
  13. Perfect-Tommy


    Mar 28, 2004
    I'm in two separate bluegrass bands with this guitarist. One plays more challenging material. Anyways, we were playing with the more traditional band one day and the guitar player's friend was there. He was reading a magazine, next thing you know he tell the guitarist to look at something in the magazine. So while the mandolin player is takign a solo he's looking over this guy's shoulder reading an article. Then I get interested in seeing what's up, so I walk over and start reading as well.

    So here's the bass player and guitarist completely ignoring the rest of the group, reading a magazine over someone's shoulder and all while staying in time.

    The Mandolin player wasn't impressed and bitched at us reminding us how rude such a thing is. It was pretty rude, but funny all the same...
  14. yeah I I know what you mean my drummer so start on the blue in the middle of the song his double timing of the whole rest of song, and his dad who is a bad ass keyboardist wanted us to play some blus stuff with him, while we were all play around 60 bpm his was soloing at 180 bpm and f'd up my timing cause his blasting through a big ass PA and I can even hear the drummer to keep time. it sucked but his hella good,

    and the constant volume battle, drummer" dont tell him to turn down you turn it up/ it sounds good" while I really would not like th deaf at 25 so pretty soon Ill go get custom ear plugs made. but I think I have the one guitarist who will say "turn up bass is supposed to be loud" :hyper: I heard this and was ready to wet myself, A bass player is almost never asked to turn up.
  15. AlexStayFrosty


    Jul 17, 2005
    We have this thing where we all exclude one member, and then arrange to just stop at a certain part in a song... And then just stare at the person who wasn't in the joke. Just like stare at them. Then there's the 'push other peoples pedal's' jam... Or there's the 'stack up every practice amp on top of each other and stand on them until they fall over'...
    You get double points if it's in a serious indie band :smug:
  16. Get phone calls. Seriously. I had this one practise, drummer got about 10 text messages (girlfriend), 2 phonecalls (sister and mother). Once that was over, rhythm guitarist started. 5 or so text messages and one phonecall (girlfriend). Now, the real nice thing is they wait to answer until the song is over, but you can hear it in the amps (think the sound you get in your computerspeakers when your mobile goes off when it's laying right beside it, amplified times ten).

    Great evil-eye practise though :D
  17. MAWBassist


    Jul 18, 2005
    In the middle of some songs my band plays, I play a note on the G-string at a high pitch so they can hear it.
    The guitarist will drawl on with the same opening for longer than needed.
    The drummer plays random beats while we're trying to discuss something about the songs.
  18. Blueszilla

    Blueszilla Bassist ordinaire

    Apr 2, 2003
    The Duke City
    Guitarist uses his wah and then leaves it on in the highest pitch position for 3 more songs.

    Drummer forgets his cymbal case.

    No one listened to the CD/tape of the new material they were supposed to learn.

    Bandmates bring GF/wifey so we can't act naturally.
  19. NJL


    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    :D LMAO!

    I haven't heard that term since my days with the Trinidad Panmasters...
  20. Bass_Machine


    Oct 29, 2004
    1. Make a fort out of amps and sofas, then have a mock war throwing soft toys at each other, making sure to have move all delicate equipment out of the way beforehand.

    2. Play with one hand, whilst swearing at everyone who looks at you with the other.

    3. Randomly start the song at double time. The drummer joins in at double speed, so do the guitarists; leaving the vocalist to try and catch up.

    4. Watch the drummer ogle the other guitarist, who happens to be a hot female.

    All this stuff actually happens at band practices. We are all really good friends, so It's mostly a get together play some videogames and music and generally have a good time. :)