things you've learnt in the office

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Icey101, May 18, 2012.

  1. yeh George Castanza style

    heres mine

    when your listening to your ipod, just put in one ear plug, it looks like your still focused on things going around you

    when your printing off some sheet music make sure you get to the print room before anyone else and put a sheet of office paper over your print out as it comes out

    if your heading out at lunch time to put some band posters up in a pub, make sure you print them out in A3 and fold them gently in you computer bag and make sure everyone knows your going to a customer meeting

    run 2 screens, one for band stuff, shonky emails, youtube...and the other one make sure you have some work docs up at the same time

    always sit with our back to the wall, let everyone else have the nice views out the windows....this means you can always see the boss when he walks in....

    put a small mirror on your screen and focus it on the office snoop so when he comes over to see what you are doing you can alt tab to a new screen

    if your mates are calling up wanting to talk music all the time, make up a code to let them know others are listening and divert to a meeting room
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Buddy up with your IT/security guy.

    I limit my non-work essential internet surfing to breaks, so I usually don't have anything to hide during the day.

  3. I just made one of our IT guys cookies, he likes me. I don't do anything but work on my work computer. I don't do anything but work with my work email. I only use my work phone for work. As I see it, I get paid to work, not screw around and charge a client tons of money.

  4. tplyons


    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    I spend all my time at work working. People notice that I'm more efficient than most.

    I sit at my desk without any privacy filter, so people can see that I'm working. Nothing to hide here.

    This is not a better than thou post... I'm doing everything I can to differentiate myself from a bunch of go-getters.
  5. duff beer

    duff beer

    Dec 2, 2007
    I don't do anything but work on my work PC either. Sometimes I send a short text from my cell, but for the most part, work is work.
  6. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Some things I've learned how to do is monitor people's computers, so that it doesn't matter whether they toggle through windows they shouldn't be in; have everything they send to a printer monitored, and have all phone calls be on a fully disclosed recorded line.

    What's sad is needing to do this, when they are being paid to WORK, not use the company's resources to do their own private stuff.
  7. This. Not to mention that when I am on my computer, I am working on a machine that is worth more than my car. I do private stuff on my own time, although I do use the company plotter, but I pay for that. I know how much a client is being charged to have me work on a project, I really wouldn't want to pay that and get nothing in return. Not to mention that my name goes on everything I do, and I don't want my name on crap.

  8. TOOL460002

    TOOL460002 Supporting Member

    Nov 4, 2004
    Santa Cruz CA
    +1 make a few dozen cookies and leave them in the lunch/fridge area. Be sure that everyone knows you made... by hand!

    One thing I learned long ago (when I was in an office), is that if the printer starts to run out of toner, don't stand around it. Run! You don't want to be the one stuck putting in toner, or even being with 30 feet from it. That toner crap is evil and it gets everywhere immediately.
  9. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    I get tons of porn from the IT guy.
  10. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Great attitude from most of the guys posting here. I wish it was more prevalent. I think many employees fail to realize anything they do on a company owned device belongs to the conpany and has to be surrendered at any time on demand.

    I work in the IS department with our security engineer. When requested by a manager or member of senior management we provide three months worth of internet and e-mail usage for an employee, even one of us. Neither of us sit there and watch any particular end user, but the data is there when requested. It is surprising to me how many people ignore or fail to understand this.

  11. Ívar Þórólfsson

    Ívar Þórólfsson Mmmmmm... Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2001
    Kopavogur, Iceland
    What do you use for this Mike? Websense or some other software?
  12. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    If you're the boss, don't make jokes in the lunchroom about "new company policies."

    For example, "If you don't get your free flu shot, and you end up getting the flu, you can't take paid sick leave."
  13. Moloch666


    Apr 22, 2012
    Like others, I spend most of my time at work working. I do need to take more frequent breaks to stop my brain turning to mush during jobs.

    I work in IT, so goofing off on the work computer is a bit tricky.

    Until I setup remote desktop to my PC at home. =D
    Email, browsing, downloading is all done through my own internet connection at home - outside the firewall and any filtering. All the logs show is a RDP connection to an unknown IP address. Still have to be careful of people walking past my desk.
  14. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    We use a Barracuda appliance, and the built in software. On our public wireless, we use Untangle.

  15. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    What I've learned is that if you treat people like adults, they generally act like adults and tend to be productive. When you treat them like children, you generally get children that are only productive when you watch them like a hawk.

    Said another way, if you've hired a group of people that only work when you monitor their every move, you've done a bad job hiring.
  16. Etienned


    Jul 16, 2010
    Exactly, human (sic) ressources dept. can complain as much as they want on work ethic, they seem blind to the fact that they choose who get to work there. Worst, they fail to realize bad employees are often worst for their colleagues than for management.
  17. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Oh, you're always ready with the craplet of wisdom, aren't you? I never hired anybody. I work for a huge, giant corporation, and I simply follow their policies.

    And the OP doesn't tend to lend a lot of credence to your theory.
  18. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    I assumed you were more of a worker bee.

    There is nothing in the op that disproves my point. The OP has put way too much time into figuring out how to avoid work. He would not be someone I would hire, and a proper HR vetting process can usually weed these people out.
  19. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I spend 95% of my work day in the field, and only a few minutes inside the office. I have learned that I greatly prefer not being there. Sitting under fluorescent lighting and staring at a flickering computer screen while dealing with phone calls from unreasonable people (note: unreasonable people usually don't have the same misperceptions of their entitlements face to face); being trapped with the same handful of people day in and day out, with your boss sitting within feet of you effectively monitoring your productivity, capable of micromanaging you at any moment... It all comes across as the most soul depleting existence I can think of short of harvesting internal organs from baby kittens.
  20. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011

    Post of the day!