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think I am gonna quit =(

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Tim Cole, Oct 3, 2002.

  1. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Well, about 5 months ago I got into a great original rock band, but enough is enough (already). Throughout the time, there has been no-call no-shows, leacing after 1 hour of practice, and tons of other attitude related problems. The forementioned REALLY sucks when you consider we were only scheduled once a week to practice anyway. This last weeks practice was spent arguing, an instrument was never even touched the entire time. If you ask me, the basis of the argument was something between me and one of the guitar players, which I have been good friends with for a long time, and still am. The REST of the guys in the band (actually just 2 of them, drummer is cool), got all over me about it. Some of the things I was told is: "you don't have the authority", "you're not an original member" (like he thinks were the beatles or something), and "you were hired in". This really sucks from my standpoint, as I am 1 of the only 2 guys out of 5 that have done anything to try to promote the band, like make websites, book gigs, etc. I took a lot of pride in this band, and actually felt like I belonged. The disrespect I was shown pretty much ripped my heart right out of the band. I have decided to either just show up and "go through the motions", treating it like a hired gig, with no loyalty.....may look for a second band. Or maybe I should just go get my stuff and be done with them. This sucks, its like breaking up with a woman or something.

    PS., the ONLY think even remotely keeping me is my friendships with the guitar player and drummer.
  2. Stu L.

    Stu L.

    Nov 27, 2001
    Corsicana, Texas
    If "you were hired in", and Ohio is anything like Texas, they need you more than you need them. I say that if they don't want to work and you do, leave. Try to stay cool with your friend though. Maybe ya'll could start something. Good luck.
  3. BassAxe


    Jul 22, 2002
    Culpeper, VA
    Sounds to me like it's time to give them the old, "I'm loaning my gear to a friend this weekend." speech and never look back.
  4. rllefebv


    Oct 17, 2000
    Newberg, Oregon
    You have total authority over your situation... You don't need permission to walk once egos start raging. The only thing you can completely control is your reaction to these scenarios... As was said before, time to walk IMO

  5. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Well, thats the ****ty thing, they need me and they know it, or at least they should. they had a good basser, but he pulled out due to health reasons. They tried out several hack before I was apparently "hired". I heard some recordings of hi,, and man.....never heard such poor intonation in my life....sounded like wrong scale neck perhaps. Another of the comments made was: "who all was already here the first night you showed up?" My reply was, "the same 4 guys that will be sitting here next week without a bass player". Attitudes changed instantly. They stopped me before I could get out of the door. I still think this situation sucks, and don't know what to do.
  6. Gabu


    Jan 2, 2001
    Lake Elsinore, CA
    If you're not happy let them know.

    Tell them that you want the full respect of a full band member or your out the door.

    Worst thing that might happen, is they might give it to ya... :eek:

    Good luck. :)
  7. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    At a certain point you need to cut your losses and find something better. I would move on.
  8. Deano Destructo

    Deano Destructo MusicMan & Upton addict. Hasn't slept since 1979. Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2000
    Seattle, WA.
    Unfortunatly I just bailed out of a situation that is very similiar to yours. I was in a band for a little over a year and 4 months of that was a "hiring period":rolleyes: . therers a 10yr. age difference between our youngest and oldest member and there has been constant infighting since day one. Only problem this band has the potential to get signed to a major label. Weve been together a sort amount of time(in the long run), and draw hundreds to our show(mainly based on stage show). Although I've just felt lately as though there was something better out there for me and this is not what I imagined the ideal band to be.....So I decided it would be better for me to get out and find the right band, and after I relocate hopefully I will. Definatly going to be more selective. Anyways to make a long story short....
    Leave if your not happy this early get out before you waste anymore talent or time in there- Your still young and if you can't see this band together in 2 years then thats 2 years older that you are without a band!!!:eek:

    Hope I helped...sorry I'm still in the healing process.:(
  9. RevGroove

    RevGroove Commercial User

    Jul 21, 2002
    Burlington ON Canada
    Manager, Account Services: Long & McQuade Ltd. (Burlington); MTD Kingston Basses International Emerging Artist; Bartolini Electronics Emerging Artist
    Dude, I was in a band that I grew increasingly unhappy with...luckily for me, the demise of the group was by mutual agreement...well, myself and the lead guitarist expressed that we were busy and everyone else just kinda went, "yeh, it's not working out, so long..."

    ...So I grabbed the keyboardist, and we started a new thing that's coming along really well!

    In your case, I'd say leave...if the band falls apart, then grab the drummer and the guitarist and start from scratch...but you shouldn't have to take that crap from them!
  10. Deano Destructo

    Deano Destructo MusicMan & Upton addict. Hasn't slept since 1979. Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2000
    Seattle, WA.
    Just a quick little update one of the guitarist just called and threatened me for leaving:p :mad: , whats he going to do :confused: really beat me up? Trust me AN- whatever you do don't stay unless things change significantly.
  11. Bessie


    Aug 11, 2002
    Making music is supposed to be enjoyable and make you all warm and fuzzy inside:) , not bitter and angry towards fellow musicians. You should probably do what you think is right, but I would say leave the band and find another group of people (maybe include your friend, the drummer?). If you can change sadness into happiness, then do it.

    Good Luck!
  12. Tyler Dupont

    Tyler Dupont Wesly Headpush

    Ok, what if you're in a small town, and you basically have to stick with what you've got because there aren't many decent musicians around.. this seems to be a problem with the groups I get into .. I can't really be selective with the people I choose.. the band usually heads in a great direction at first, then as time goes by, everyone wants to head in a different direction... then yada yada, good bye band.
    How do you enjoy something that is not bad... but really not what you'd like to be doing ? Make sense ? I didn't think so.... :rolleyes: :D
  13. CS


    Dec 11, 1999

    I have been in a similar situation. I left. Best thing I ever did.

    It sounds like the other band members want you to shut up but still do all the running around for them. It don't work that way.
  14. jazzbo


    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
  15. Philbiker

    Philbiker Pat's the best!

    Dec 28, 2000
    Northern Virginia, USA
    You're friends with the guitarrist and drummer? The other gyus are causing trouble?

    Time for a power trio. Ever play in a trio situation? It's absolutely wonderful, there is so much room for everyone to play, nobody stepping on eeach other sonically. However, the guitarrist is -really- out there on his own for solos (kind of the like the bass player is on every song) - guitarrist has to be up to the challenge.

    And of course that assumes one of you can sing.
  16. I've used a similar line before and that is the best way to shut them up. Good for you! The situation sucks for sure. Try not to burn bridges but since you are "hired" in their eyes, act the part. No more web page work unless you are compensated for it. No more promotion work, that is the job for the "real" band members. Treat all rehearsals as sessions and request compensation for your time and establish a set fee you require to be paid to play each gig.

    You don't appear to be a flake. They should know that you will have a new gig quickly and they will be looking for a comparable replacement for a long time. They need you more then you need them.
  17. I hooked up with a band this summer and the first couple of practices were incredible. I was so high just from jamming with other human beings I didn't know what to do with myself.

    But... it didn't take long to realize something was amiss. The original three guys had been together for about 18 months. They'd done about a dozen shows, and they felt they needed a dedicated bassist to fill out the sound (they'd been swapping bass duties).

    The drummer turned out to be the problem. He's a nice guy, but he's a so-called "jazz" drummer, which means he does a lot of fancy little fills and marching drum beats without really helping hold the beat. He was also unreliable about making practices and he made it clear he was only in it because it "was cool to be in a band" and he felt a sense of obligation to his friends. He had no passion for the music and was obviously only phoning it in at practice. It brought everyone down.

    We had a show booked and decided to deal with him until after that.

    I found out that until they found me, the two guitarists were going to break it off with this guy and do acoustic stuff. I'd been gassing for an acoustic bass for a long time, so I nabbed one.

    After a particularly bad practice, I suggested we cancel practice next week and just do an acoustic jam, sans drummer. We did and we sounded so much better it was scary.

    We asked the drummer to seek opportunity elsewhere and we're already booking gigs as an acoustic trio. The music is good, new songs are being written, and everyone's having FUN and we're all excited about the future.

    Bottom line, unless you're playing to put food on the table and roof over your head, it qualifies as a hobby and if you're not having fun doing it, DON'T. As suggested, grab your friends, leave the other two, and start your own thing.

    Best of luck to you and I hope it works out.
  18. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    In my experience, egos never get smaller, they only get bigger. My advice: Quit this band and find something else. If you get along with the drummer and the guitarist, ask them if they'd like to join you. If they say no, move on! If you're serious about being a musician, you need to be taken seriously and not taken for granted (take it from me -- you can read all about my bull***t experiences with past band members). Sooner or later, these guys will realize "what's up" and they'll realize they lost the best thing they had going for them.....YOU!

    Good luck!
  19. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    But, what's the point sticking up with any guys that are going to treat you like a slave. If they pay you $50/day to shut up and just play backing up basslines, then you can act as their servant, otherwise - get full bandmember status or hit the road baby!

    There are plenty of other bands out there looking for a low-life to join them, that's my opinion.

    Actually, I'm just in the process of joining a original, bit maiden/old metallica style band who have been offered a recording deal etc, and the first thing I said to the guitarist who was asking me to join them was "Ok, if I'm joining your band, I won't be nobodys puppet." - the other guys have known each other since they were kids, are few years older than me and have played as a band for years now, so you can imagine what the guitarists reply was, right? Wrong.

    "Yea, I want it that way", he answered me.
  20. i agree completely. three musicians are all it takes, a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer. one of the three should be able to sing, and if not throw a singer in the mix, but more instruments just causes hassles IMO.

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