Thinking about walking away

-Frustration-laden Rant Warning

I've posted a couple threads in the past about how my current band is a slow moving one, how frustrating it is etc, etc. But something happened today that really is making me reconsider moving forward with bands in general.

In an effort to alleviate some of the anxiety associated with a slow moving band, I put word out that I was looking to audition for a side project. I got hit up relatively quickly for a three piece band that had currently a guitarist / vocalist and a drummer, and were looking to flesh out the line up with a bassist. We arranged a date to get together, all was well.

Fast forward to the day of the audition (about a week after setting the date) and he texts me to tell me that the drummer can't make it because he's working OT. I thought, fine. No big deal, it happens. We set up a new date.

I saw the guitar player at a local gig that weekend and we talked for a few, and decided on today for the audition. Both parties expressed excitement at the potential for jamming with new people.

Messaged him today to make sure we were still on and he told me that a relative had just passed yesterday, but over the weekend (same weekend I saw him) that they tried out another bassist and "for the sake of time" were going with him instead.

I wished him condolences for his loss and deleted his number.

I mean, ***? I'm sorry he suffered a loss, but that has little to do with my audition as it happened after they tried someone else out. He went behind my back after telling me for two weeks we we're going to jam. I understand if after I auditioned they went with someone else, that's just the way the game works. But to do it the way he did it really left a bad taste in my mouth.

This, in conjunction with the fact that I'm having trouble even getting my current band mates to communicate on basic stuff and I'm pulling all the weight really has me considering packing it in. I'm going back to school in August for Industrial Engineering and I can make time for a band, but I'm really struggling to see the purpose right now. I'm sick of being tethered down and held back by other people's lack of ambition or drive to do something. I'm sick of having my time wasted. I'm sick of shouldering all the weight.

I feel like I need to pursue something that isn't so dependent on other people, because lately other people have been sources of immense frustration and let downs.

I don't really need advice, just needed a place to vent. It's all extremely discouraging.

 

*grabs said drink and downs it*

Been thinking about that, I just don't really know what I'd want to do or how I'd want to go about it. I have no intentions of walking away from bass at all, but thinking maybe I can just take some time off and study some theory and learn some of my favorite songs for fun.

 

That's the source of my frustration, is I feel that I've done of good job of being reasonable. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect open communication regarding band issues and accountability when auditioning new musicians. Unfortunately that seems to not be the case where I'm at.

 

Honestly had never considered this. I've only ever gone the band route and have never dipped my toes in the sub/hired gun game. I might have to give this some serious consideration.

 

Wouldn't dream of it. Not walking away from music, I'm only thinking about hanging it up with bands for awhile.

 

We have a gig lined up and our album is being mixed (finally) so I'm holding out to see if things get better. But I'm now fully prepared to walk away if they don't.

 

This is something I could see myself doing after a hiatus. I don't think I have the mental fortitude to dive into that right now. The past year or so has been pretty soul-crushing from a progress standpoint, so I'd for sure want some time to recharge my batteries.