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Thinking of hanging it up (rant)

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Marley's Ghost, Nov 16, 2003.

  1. Marley's Ghost

    Marley's Ghost Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 9, 2002
    Tampa, FL
    Well, after 2 years of attempting a comeback (after a 20 year hiatus), I am seriously wondering whether it is worth it. Maybe the rock and roll poets they called the Eagles put it best when they said “you can never go back”. After two failed attempts at playing with a band, and three crummy auditions, it seems to be futile. At first, the main obstacle was my wife. Her insecurity and repeated attempts to torpedo my resurgence into music cost me my spot in the first two bands. Now, I seem to have won her over and she is accepting, there just seems to be no one out there. Either the female singer thinks I’m too old, or the original band wants to practice 20 hours a week and tour the world. Or musicians I work with are not allowed out by their wives. All I want is to play a few gigs in a cover band to have fun. Should be a no brainer, right? Any suggestions out there? Even my Harmony Central ads don’t get responses any more. :confused: :(
  2. Funkize you

    Funkize you Guest

    Nov 4, 2003
    Westminster Ca.
    Why dont you take a Music Class at a college... That might do till a gig comes around.

    Or Take Lessons/Practice and play with a college band, Why not?

    At my college they have a 40+ year old playing bass, with a band that has 19 and below students.
  3. Schwinn


    Dec 4, 2002
    Sarasota, FL
    I'm in a similar situation Marley. I got back into playing bass just to be in this band, which is no longer. Now I'm looking for a new band but it's hard finding one that is "right". Either I don't have enough time for the demands, or the style of music isn't right, or it's too far to drive, etc. But I'm just hanging on for the right opportunity. The best thing to do is keep practicing every day and get to be a better musician. Then when the right band comes along you can win them over and get the spot. I believe it's only a matter of time before the right opportunity comes along. You just have to be ready!!
  4. Pacman

    Pacman Layin' Down Time Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2000
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
    The best thing about being a jazz musician is they take you more seriously the older you get.
  5. Fretless5verfan


    Jan 17, 2002

    yea that's great...except for young jazz musicians:p
  6. Marley's Ghost,

    If bass playing is a passion that truly breathes within you, DO NOT GIVE UP. It took me many years to find the right musicians to work with, who appreciated my abilities as a bassist, keyboardist, backing vocalist, and sound tech.

    You will, eventually, find the right people to work with. They will appreciate your talent and passion.

    Believe me, it is worth the wait.

    :bassist: :cool: :hyper:
  7. What puzzles me is...Why do you NEED a band to play bass? If an opportunity arrises then great, otherwise just play your instrument alone. Or you could give up if bass isn't important to you.
  8. James Hart

    James Hart

    Feb 1, 2002
    Endorsing Artist: see profile
    I agree to some extent. I'm sick of the local non-talent and drama... but I'm still plugging along. I got a copy of Cakewalk and I write/record my own stuff now... I'll find the right gig some day... if not, watch for a new solo bass act in NJ :eek:

  9. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    I wish I had some advice for you, Ghost, but I'm pretty much in the same place, with the same mindset as you, brother.

    I have been "out of the game" since December of 2001 and seemingly, can do nothing but watch as people with less drive and less ability (as I see it) are playing out every weekend. Even the singer from my old band seems to be making a success of himself (if some of you will recall, used to read cheat-sheets during our friggin' gigs)! I went to a Matchbox Twenty concert a few weeks ago and was dumbfounded by the fact that they can get 20,000 fans to go to their shows and have an absolute blast, listening to some good ol' rock-n-roll, yet I can't find 3 people that want to play rock-n-roll music. Every day, I fight the urge to sell my gear and call it quits for good. At this point, I feel like the only way to get anywhere is to lower my standards to where I'm accepting gigs with Korn tribute bands and the like. Yeah, I know I should be content with writing and recording my own stuff and posting it on MP3.com, but that just isn't enough for me, dammit! And it's not like I'm asking to be a part of the next Metallica, or the next AC/DC. All I want is to make enough money to cover my expenses. I need to move out of this dead-end s***hole I live in, but that's not in the damn cards for me either.


    :mad: :(
  10. Im in the same situation,kinda.

    I have been playing for about a year and lately...I just havent had any real want to play bass...

    this happened w/ me before...but I got back into it,I need to sit down one night w/ my bass and just play...

    *shrug* good luck.
  11. lump


    Jan 17, 2000
    St. Neots, UK
    Unless you play electric, of course. ;)

    The above is is why I like being a church bassist. A buddy of mine who is my age (40) is in a rock band. During the Veteran's day weekend, they took a two-day trip to another base for an NCO club gig, lugging a gajillion pounds of gear. A dozen people showed up at most, and between gas and meals, they lost money. I take about 75 lbs of gear to church each weekend and play for 150-200 people, guaranteed. And the stuff I have to play is often a lot more challenging than I/IV/V/I.

    If the opportunity to play in a band presented itself, I'd probably take it, but I have yet to find an ideal mix of personalities/schedule/skill level. In the meantime, church fits the bill quite nicely. :)
  12. Marley's Ghost

    Marley's Ghost Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 9, 2002
    Tampa, FL
  13. christle

    christle Supporting Member

    Jan 26, 2002
    Winnipeg, MB
    You can get used to the cold. Trust me, it's even colder where I live ;). Good luck, and I too believe you will meet the right bunch of guys when the time is right. What helped me get into my new band was to keep mentioning to anyone who would listen that I was looking for a gig. Sure enough in just a few months opportunity came knocking. Keep heart. It will happen.

    Oh, I was serious about the cold. You really do get used to it. Even if you don't like it. :D

    Dan :bassist:
  14. Gabu


    Jan 2, 2001
    Lake Elsinore, CA
    Good luck man. :)

    Although I enjoy playing the bass, music is my true love. What helps me out when my band is having issues is that I play open mics by myself with my acoustic guitar. That is fun and gives me the musical release I need while my bandmates get themselves in gear.

    If you have an acoustic, give it a whirl! :)
  15. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Marley and Hategear, I can identify with both of your stories. I came off a several year hiatus a year and a half ago or so, and landed what I thought would be an interim gig with a classic rock band with some pretty good players who unfortunately have some very self-defeating priorities. I was a bit bitter and disgusted that I couldn't find a better gig, I posted all kind of whiny rants on TB, and I kept posting the same ad on the local musician referral boards despite getting zero legit response from it.

    And then, for some reason, my luck just seemed to change. I didn't do anything different, but eventually some of my networking efforts started to pay off, and I got some good, legit calls on my ad.

    Now I'm playing almost every weekend, with three different bands. In truth, none of the three are dream bands, but I get to do what I love nonetheless.

    So, I'd say to just hang in there. Eventually, there'll be a fluke and *something* good will float your way.

    Lessons/studying sounds like a great way to keep busy until opportunity decides to knock, too.

  16. Funkize you

    Funkize you Guest

    Nov 4, 2003
    Westminster Ca.
    Actually, I love playing with my self... and I dont think I'd have it any other way... (Insert joke here)

    I should have said "By myself" instead... I suck.
  17. I have only been playing for about 6 years now and I am in pretty much the same boat. I am 20 and I eather find people who are twice my age and great to play with but hard to relate with on a social level. or I find people my age who have an origonal band and think they are going to be th next big thing. I just want to be in a simple rock band, do some covers, some origonals just have fun. it is just a hobby for me so I don't want it to cause stress.

    all I can say is to just keep plugging along, I got some recording stuff and record some songs on my computer now and will go jam with random people sometimes.
  18. Im a sock

    Im a sock

    Dec 23, 2002
    Central MA
    I second the idea of finding a college band to play with. At my school, the jazz band is a university/community band, and there are quite a few local adults that play with us.

    Heck, do it even if jazz isnt your thing. It's still fun and you might learn a thing or two.

    Plus there's always effects pedals and recording software that can be a blast.

    PLUS! You can keep coming on TB, which is awesome :D
  19. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    It seems like a bunch of people my age who have wanted to do nothing but music all their lives are giving up. At 26, you are considered too old to be a rockstar (when did this happen?!). Less talented people seem to "make it", while the true musicians are falling by the wayside. Why does this happen?

    I think the answer lies in people's priorities: the guys who would rather be in a band than truly exercise their craft find each other, because their expectations are low. Let's face it, it's easy to put together a Good Charlotte. But those who have higher expectations of their music, and the musicians they play with, end up playing by themselves mostly. This sucks, but it's the truth. Forming a band is harder than getting married; you have to find more than one person that meshes perfectly with you, and you can't (or shouldn't) have sex with these people!

    I have pretty much given up the idea of forming the perfect band after 11 years of trying. Who wants to play 11 minute prog/metal/ambeint epics? So far I've only met two people that I gelled with, and there was a 3 year gap in between them. I think most of the bands that we hear about were either not terribly good, or terribly lucky. I would go so far to say that there are countless other musicians/songwriters out there that are/were far better than the Beatles, U2, Dream Theatre, the Police, etc. But these people are/were not lucky enough to find 3-4 other people that gelled with them. It's a total crap shoot.

    I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you should quit... but only if playing bass is interfering with another part of your life that you would rather pursue. Life is not all about music; oftentimes we musicians miss out on life because we are so focused on our craft or on buying the next wah pedal. Let it go if it's holding you back. But if it is not, and if your life would be missing an important element of who you are, then carry on! Carry on with purpose! Record your own material, and get as many people to listen to it as you can. Even if everybody hates it but you, at least you can say you tried, and that you made yourself happy. Good luck!
  20. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    A guitar player friend asked if I could sit in for their bassist in their praise band. I had never done that before, so I gave it a shot. I had to learn 5 songs in one night and the music was fairly challenging. I wouldn't mind doing that again! This type of gig (depending on your religious beliefs,)may be the ticket. Interesting music, and the people don't judge (not supposed to anyway.)