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This could be my BIG BREAK!!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Hambone, Feb 26, 2002.


  1. I got this interesting piece of spam today. Could be that someone hacked the user list either here or over at the DudePit. At any rate here's the letter:


    Hey Mr. Bass Player,
    It's a pleasure to have the opportunity to talk to you even if it's through an email. In this email I'll bore you a bit with bull**** and then I'll get straight to the point ok? My name is Nick and I'm 20 years old and the others are both 18. I've been playing for 9 years and in that process I've been through 2 guitar teachers who I've exceeded both in just a short term and then I decided to teach myself so that's what I do now. I love Rock n Roll and I go to any extremes necessary to meet my goals and fulfill my dream. Obviously I'm a Lead Guitarist and I study to the likes of Van Halen, Led Zeppelin, GnR, Motley Crue, Kiss, Metallica, Megadeth, Randy Rhoads, Eric Johnson, John Petrucci, Steve Vai, and Joe Satriani. That's not a lie whatsoever because I love those bands and performers and always enjoy listening and playing to their works. On a more classical side, I enjoy listening and playing my guitar to the likes of Beethoven, Wolfgang Mozart, and Niccolo Paganini.
    Ok, enough with the bull****. This whole band enjoys just about the same bands. We practice at each of our houses but soon it will only be at my house because I'll have the whole basement sound proof and my studio is down there anyway and that's where I stay after work from 4pm-4am every ****ing night. I barely ever stop playing guitar and don't worry because after a while it becomes a part of you and it seems I can't ever put it down. Right now we practice 1 time a week but by this summer it will be mandatory at 7 nights a week and for 12 hours straight each day. This band is constantly climbing higher and reaching new peaks and meeting new goals every day and I'm the designated driver so I take most responsibilities so if you have any other questions, talk to me first. I have a deal for you... If you'll give this a chance and show us your very best then we'll guarentee your success and your dreams to come true.
    But this is a 1 shot only deal so either you take it now or we move on to someone else. Personally from the sound of it, I'd prefer to have you with us but that's your choice. All I ask from you is that you show dedication and don't bull**** around. Hard work first and then playtime. So bring along your creative ideas and let's give this a go shall we!? We call this Universal Big Party Rock or what not. We are fighting a war here and I need strong soldiers who are talented and know their **** and believe in themselves and know how to fight because if any of us slip just once then it's over. We only get 1 chance so let's do it right. I can be reached after 4pm at 410-781-7089 or email me at EdwardVH19845150@cs.com but make it soon so the audition can begin and we can have a great time making great songs! Please don't let me down.

    Rock on my friend,
    Nicholas

    This SOB talks to me like he's known me all my life. What BS.
     
  2. John Davis

    John Davis Guest

    Mar 27, 2001
    Houston, Texas
    HAHAHAHAHA!!

    That's funny...some people are rather full of themselves. *cough*guitarist*cough*
     
  3. bassmonkeee

    bassmonkeee Supporting Member

    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
    Having met you, Hammy, I think it sounds like your gig. I can just picture you in the spandex now...

    ..I think I just went blind....:p
     
  4. When did u get that guff? thats either one desperate guy lookin for friends, or its a bug. ah well,your big break huh? .....if only 'twas true my friend... :)
     
  5. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    lol!!!

    i feel left out. _i_ didn't get any "dear mr bass player" letters. :( :( :(

    i wanna chance to wear spandex!!!
     
  6. Gabu

    Gabu

    Jan 2, 2001
    Lake Elsinore, CA
    Don't worry John. Underoos count! :D

    I like optimists, and it's cool that this guy is fired up. I hope he makes it. :)
     
  7. neptoon

    neptoon

    Jul 25, 2000
    summerville, sc
    hey, good luck, hambone! hee hee sounds like a real slave driver...i can see you driving the kids to chucky cheese's right now ;) all wearing pink tiger striped spandex :eek:
     
  8. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Zandertard strikes!
     
  9. Geez, do I have a big "L" on my forehead or what?? I just got this a few minutes ago from the same email address:



    Read this and think about it!

    Ok, this is it! I'm a lead guitarist in a band called Truth 'N Tempest. I'm 20 years old and the Rhythm guitar and Drums are 18. We are looking for a SINGER and/or BASS PLAYER who is DEDICATED, DETERMINED TO BE FAMOUS, IS NOT AFRAID TO DO ANYTHING FOR MUSIC, IS WILLING TO GO WHEREVER THE MUSIC TAKES THEM, LOVES TO TRAVEL, LOVES TO HAVE FUN, IS TALENTED AND CAN ENTERTAIN AN AUDIENCE, IS CREATIVE WHEN WRITING MUSIC, CAN COMMIT TO WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE TO MAKE THIS THE BEST DAMN BAND IN THE USA!
    ARE PEOPLE TOO ****ING STUPID TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A ROCK N ROLL BAND IS BECAUSE THEY ARE SO CAUGHT UP IN THE RAP/ROCK SCENE THAT THEY DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT AN ACTUAL ROCK N ROLL BAND IS ANYMORE? Look, I've been trying to be somebody since I was 10 years old. I was picked on in school in my younger years and was told that I would never be anybody important. Has that ever happened to YOU? I was ignored most of my life and nobody ever believed in me but NOW all that's about to change!
    I've practiced guitar so hard that I'm prepared to show the world what pure adrenaline and motivation can do to a person. I want a ROCK 'N Roll Band!!! Not Rap/Rock, not Hate Rock, not PopRock, not SkaRock, and NOT NEW AGE ROCK! I want a REAL Rock 'N Roll band! I don't care what music scene is out today. I want what I believe is right and what I believe is OUR future for music. I'm very passionate for my music and my views and your just gonna have to deal with me because I'm NOT changing for ANYBODY!
    This is who I am and you can either be in this band and become great like Van Halen, KISS, Gun's N Roses, Metallica, Motley Crue, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Joe Satriani, and Steve Vai did and do something special that nobody else is doing and make the future or you can stay with what's cool today and die out in about 3 years. I have never done what everybody else does and I'm not going to start now. Why should I play what's out today? It doesn't make me happy. It's not fun to play, it's not breathtaking, it doesn't catch my attention, it doesn't make a difference in my life, and it SURE AS HELL doesn't make me wanna be like them!
    This is your choice but your either with me or against me and for the love of God if this email doesn't get to you then nothing will... I'm also looking for Roadies, Groupies(lol), Support Techies, Anybody who would like to help get the band going, anybody who'd like to help this band at gigs, anybody who can help us at all, and most importantly WE NEED A MANAGER!!! Any creative ideas you'd also like to donate to help this better become better then we'd appreciate it very much. And ideas at all could be emailed to us.

    Thanks for your time,
    The Extremist



    ...and spandex??!! I'd need a different container for MY cottage cheese.
     
  10. If the body odour from 12hrs of sweaty boys rocking out doesn't kill you, the stir-craziness of holing up for that long will.

    This, is, impossible. A dude's gotta sleep and such! :D
     
  11. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Wow. that guy talks in such a personal and fired up way and his grammar and spelingg are excellent so I think you should jumpp at the chanse to grow a mullett and wearr spandex and be a BiG sTar man you are lucky.:D:D



    :rolleyes:
     
  12. That practice schedule worked for Captain Beefheart's Magic Band, except he also kept the band locked in his house and didn't feed them.
     
  13. Blackbird

    Blackbird Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 18, 2000
    California
    Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band rehearsed? :eek:
     
  14. POW's then should be freakin' AMAZING musicians, then! :eek: :D
     
  15. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    Ham - Sounds better than one I got not long ago. The person's email name was "axegod" :rolleyes:

    I don't see any mention of $$$$ or confirmed bookings :confused: I mean, someone wants to get my interest in playing covers, one of the main things I want is some info. about whether I'd be busting my ass for chump change or flash cash!!!

    If we're talking about creating "art", poverty isn't so bad at the start.
     
  16. Christopher

    Christopher

    Apr 28, 2000
    New York, NY
    Looks like Danger Kitty needs a bass player.
     
  17. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    Did that say they were also looking for roadies and techies? Sign me up!

    I want to be in big band that rock and rolls!
     
  18. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    i think we already know...

    [​IMG]
     
  19. hujo

    hujo

    Apr 18, 2001
    Stockholm, Sweden
    I didn't know you played guitar, John?