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This is crazy right?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by samson3382, Feb 14, 2016.

  1. samson3382


    Apr 26, 2009
    Boise, Idaho
    I realize this can be a touchy subject that could easily be taken down a political road. If we can, let's not take it there.

    And no, this story isn't about me.
    A close friend of mine got married about a year ago.
    Previously he had been in a long distance relationship with this girl for about 4 months. She moved from Florida to Idaho with her 5 year old son, they married, (courthouse, no ceremony) and just bought a house a month ago. They both work 60+ hours a week, but the husbands work schedule is increasing, which would mean daycare 7 days a week for the child. He is a veteran and still works for the military, and does very well financially.

    A couple days ago, I'm informed (from an inside reliable source) she's quitting her job, and this month plans to become a surrogate.

    She has expressed multiple times that she wants to have a baby, (with him), but he wanted to wait two years to get settled. (House, jobs, etc.)

    Maybe I'm old fashioned, but to me, as a man, husband, and father, I would find this unbelievably insulting, disrespectful, inconsiderate, I could on.

    I don't know how he feels about this, it's an odd situation and REALLY not my place to ask. I just don't even know what to think.
  2. bholder

    bholder Affable Sociopath Supporting Member

    Sep 2, 2001
    Vestal, NY
    Received a gift from Sire* (see sig)
    I would think it's someone else's business I sure would not want to get involved with.
    ONYX, DwaynieAD, mbelue and 5 others like this.
  3. samson3382


    Apr 26, 2009
    Boise, Idaho
    mbelue and 47th Street like this.
  4. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    I have no intention of getting caught in this thread.
    Icemanaroonie likes this.
  5. 48thStreetCustom


    Nov 30, 2005
    Wait, which do you find unbelievably insulting? The woman being a surrogate or the guy waiting to have kids with her?
  6. samson3382


    Apr 26, 2009
    Boise, Idaho
    Well to be clear, I don't find any of it insulting. It's not me.

    The surrogate part. I don't have a problem with the concept at all, I think it's an incredible brave noble thing, and an amazing technology that many families are fortunate to have.

    But if I had no children with my wife, planned on having them, and she wanted to do this, I would feel cheated- in a weird way. Even though he does want to wait.

    I'm not him, maybe he's fine with it, i doubt he'd speak up if he wasn't though. I just can't imagine I'd be.
  7. 48thStreetCustom


    Nov 30, 2005
    Seems like something a single woman would do. Not a married woman.
    One Drop, bolophonic and samson3382 like this.
  8. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic
    Ugh. Yes it would bug me. I'd feel like buzzards were picking at my dead carcass...
    48thStreetCustom and samson3382 like this.
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
  10. 48thStreetCustom


    Nov 30, 2005
    They moved in together 4 months after meeting, got married shortly after, bought a house one year later and she wants to have a kid right away? Seems like things are moving very fast for your friend. Lotta responsibility to take on in a short period of time.
    Rocker949 and samson3382 like this.
  11. samson3382


    Apr 26, 2009
    Boise, Idaho
    Like you're being used?
  12. Note to self, stay single!
    Rocker949 and samson3382 like this.
  13. samson3382


    Apr 26, 2009
    Boise, Idaho
    That's one way..
  14. bolophonic


    Dec 10, 2009
    Durham, NC
    That scenario is completely unreasonable. If a couple is considering someone to be a surrogate, they would specifically be looking to screen OUT candidates who have unstable relationships with unsupportive partners. I would say that your friend would be insane to stick around for this.
    samson3382 likes this.
  15. El Güero

    El Güero

    Oct 5, 2015
    So I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
    samson3382 likes this.
  16. Seems kind of icky.

    Sometimes a person wants to be so helpful it could very well be diagnosed as a personality disorder. This is one of those times.
    samson3382 likes this.
  17. CatSquare


    Mar 7, 2014
    I get what you're saying, I'd feel some kind of way about that, for sure.
  18. elgecko


    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA
    I'm still trying to figure out what possible political angle there is. o_O
    DwaynieAD likes this.
  19. El Güero

    El Güero

    Oct 5, 2015
    Politicians are always trying to %^*& somebody.
    samson3382 and catcauphonic like this.
  20. samson3382


    Apr 26, 2009
    Boise, Idaho
    That's what I'm hoping will happen. I'm hoping she'll be screened out for the right reasons, whatever that might be.
    Though I'd consider her a very, socially, oh I don't know, nimble? kind of person?
    Like she might be capable of manipulating a screening process.

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