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this is funny

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by k-dawg, Jun 17, 2001.


  1. how many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    five, one to change the bulb and four to hold back the enraged guitarist who can't stand to see a bassist in the limelight.
    -----------------------------------------------------------

    A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. They say their marriage is on the
    rocks because they never speak to each other. The counselor tries to get
    them to talk, but they just sit there with their arms folded and their
    mouths closed. He tries playing games. He tries tricking them. Nothing he
    can do can get them to talk
    to each other.

    Finally, he pulls out an electric bass and starts playing a solo.

    Instantly, the couple turns to each other and starts conversing for the
    first time in months.

    "How on earth did you know that would work?" they ask.

    "Simple," he says, "Everyone always talks during the bass solo."
     
  2. old_skool

    old_skool

    Aug 17, 2000
    Milwaukee, WI
    how many bassists does it take to change a light bulb? one, but noone notices.
     
  3. "How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
    Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say they could have done it better."
     
  4. How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. He sticks the lightbulb in and the world revolves around them.


    Yeah i know someone here has said it before, but noone posted it yet, so I took the liberty. :)
     
  5. Ahhhhh, will i have to start the drummer jokes...AGAIN!!!! :D :rolleyes:

    Merls
     
  6. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    how many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
    NONE... the keyboardist can do it with his left hand

    :) that´s cruel!
     
  7. What do you call the guy that hangs out with the band while they are practicing? Singer

    What do you call the guy that delivers your pizza? Drummer.

    These are two examples of wit from our lead guitarist. So don't blame me..heh
     
  8. ZuluFunk

    ZuluFunk

    Apr 14, 2001
    Pennsylvania
    Leat common statment in the English language:

    Hey, isn't that the drummer's Porsche?
     
  9. blakec3686

    blakec3686

    Dec 14, 2000
    how do u know the if a stage is level ????

    the drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth
     
  10. blakec3686 how do u know the if a stage is level ????

    the drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth
    ZuluFunk Leat common statment in the English language:

    Hey, isn't that the drummer's Porsche?
     
  11. virtual.ray

    virtual.ray

    Oct 25, 2000
    How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?......None....by the time they've found the groove it's already daylight!
     
  12. What do you call a musician without a girl friend?
    homless
     
  13. travatron4000

    travatron4000

    Dec 27, 2000
    Chicago, IL
    There's a band on stage and they're on fire tonight. They're in the groove and hitting everything perferct. In the back of the crowd there's a man who looks like a record company rep.

    The drummer sees him and thinks: "Hey, were doing great. If we get a deal I'll finally be able to aford all the gear I want.

    The guitarist sees him and thinks: "Wow, we're going to be famous. I'm going to be famous. I'm going to get so many chicks and get laid every night. Everyone will know my name."

    The lead singer thinks: "Finally, I'm going to be able support my designer drug habit."

    The bassist thinks: "G-C-D-C-G-C-D...."
     
  14. BASS_PLAYERS

    BASS_PLAYERS

    Mar 3, 2001
    Ada, Ok
    all so true......so terribly horrendiously true.......
     
  15. furtim

    furtim

    Dec 12, 1999
    Boston, MA, USA
    True for you, maybe!

    Personally, the only thing I can think while on stage is "I wonder how my hair looks..."
     
  16. What's the last thing a drummer says before he leaves the band?
    "Can we try some of my stuff now?"
     
  17. Brooks

    Brooks

    Apr 4, 2000
    Middle East
    Here's my favorite 'light bulb' joke:

    How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?

    None! Bill Gates will just innovate a new industry standard - MS-Darkness©