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Time of Changes

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Stewmc5222, May 26, 2005.


  1. hey all,

    there's a bunch going on with me and some of it is publlic knowledge but some isn't. really there are 3 big things.

    first, the solo album is still on schedule and should be ready for purchase and review (gulp!) in the middle of next month.

    second, I do not know if I am still moving out west because...

    third, my wife has just informed me that she wants a divorce.

    I appreciate all the support I've gotten and I want to thank everyone who's called or written. I am truly a lucky man for the wealth of amazing and compassionate friends who fill my life. thank you all.

    but, that said (written), I may be taking a break from some of my online activity until I get my head a bit more straight. I have unsubcribed to several threads I contributed to and have been somewhat scattershot in my correspondence since I got the news. I'm working on staying on top of things but I need you all to bear with me a while longer.

    stay well and keep it deep,

    from a whole new low,

    Stew
     
  2. Vorago

    Vorago (((o)))

    Jul 17, 2003
    Antwerp, Belgium
    I'm sure you'll be fine eventually, no need for excuses here.
     
  3. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
  4. daofktr

    daofktr irritating, yet surly

    Feb 15, 2005
    aurora, IN
    hang in there, bud.

    btdt on the divorce thing...it sucks ass now, won't be so bad later.
    still, painful and stupid now.*
    you have my sympathy, empathy, and all those other fitting -pathies.

    *if there aren't children involved, thank God right now. really.
    if there are, you really have my support, 'cuz you have one hell of a tough row to hoe. i got two kids, and trust me...ouch.

    hoping for the best for you, stew!

    dixon
     
  5. Alvaro Martín Gómez A.

    Alvaro Martín Gómez A. TalkBass' resident Bongo + cowbell player

    Hey, Stew!

    Man, let me tell you: I got married twice and I'm alone again. It's been 14 months since then and let me tell you that being alone has been one of the most satisfying experiences in my life. I felt scared at the beginning because I had clear that I wasn't going to return to mom's home. Never lived alone before and now, frankly, it's very difficult that a woman makes me change my mind about this. I know how you feel. It's really hard but trust me, you'll overcome that. +1 on the children thing by Dixon (I don't have kids).

    I don't want to wish you good luck because this new stage in life isn't a matter of luck for a talented person like you. Just raise your sight! You'll be really fine. :)
     
  6. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sorry to hear that, Stew.

    FWIW, my wife and I had a pretty rough time 2 years ago. We were headed towards divorce, and she didn't even want to try to work it out.

    I convinced her to go to counselling with me, and after 3 months of counselling, she realized that if she had walked out on me and the kids, that she would have been walking out on everything that was important to her, and would have wanted it all back eventually.

    Good luck, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  7. thanks, everyone.

    I'm going to be online sporadically over the next week and then probably offline for a while.

    all your words and thoughts are very much taken to heart. I don't have the clearest perspective right now, but I'm optimistic about the future. maybe not tomorrow or the weekend, but down the line.

    thank you, everyone!

    from the lows,

    Stew
     
  8. Nadav

    Nadav

    Nov 13, 2004
    Atlanta, GA
    :(
    Stew, I hope it all works out soon with as little pain as possible.
     
  9. thanks, guys. I actually spent the last couple of hours talking with one of my best friends and got to laugh for the first time all week. just before I found this email (the link to this thread) I read a couple of emails from my wife. long ones. I'm sure they were hard to write. they were hard to read but I think she was right about everything she said in them.

    this is definitely a weird night, but I know there will be more and weirder ones ahead. right now, though, whether it's fatigue or reason, I can see things a little differently. a little better.

    as horrible as it is to say, I'm glad there are others who've gone through this. that wisdom is a real source of strength right now.

    thanks again, all. I'll be in touch,

    from the less low,

    Stew
     
  10. Although I can offer nothing but best wishes I know you'll be more than ok. From the posts I've read and what seems to be your general attitude towards life there isn't anything you can't handle. Stay coolheaded and make intelligent choices, and there will nothing in life you can regret... once again, best wishes Stew, even though we've never met or really spoken your posts have always struck me as incredibly sincere and wise; two traits that are never without use in every aspect of life.
     
  11. wow...! are you sure that was my name in those posts? I tend to think of myself as a total goober!

    thanks, man. that is very kind.

    now I'm gonna put my swelled head to bed. :oops:

    from the tired lows,

    Stew
     
  12. Gard

    Gard Commercial User

    Mar 31, 2000
    Greensboro, NC, USA
    General Manager, Roscoe Guitars
    Stew -

    Brother, I been there...oh man, have I been there.

    :(

    Trust me, you will survive, and eventually prosper, although it can be a long and very difficult road.

    Sadly, no one can lead you down the road, we can only shout encouragement from the side and give moral support.

    If you need to talk, let me know, I'm here for ya.
     
  13. thanks, brother. just knowing that you cats are there to shout from the side lines is a great comfort. there's no denying the agony and freaking out that I have ahead, but just knowing that there are others who've been through it and are well is a help. I have moments of total paralysis, where I don't know what to do or where to go, but they don't feel like the end of my world. I'm definitely scared and confused, but...

    well...

    I'm discovering just how spectacular my support network is. I haven't hit the point where I need to completely lose it, but it's good to know that I have people in my life who will be there when I do.

    thanks for the kind words, Gard. I may be in touch soon...

    form the lows,

    Stew
     
  14. Yvon

    Yvon Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2000
    Montreal, Canada
    I went throught the same thing about a year ago. Not long after Gard. Today I will admit that it might be the best thing that happend in my life!!
    Many great things will happen again in your life.
     
  15. secretdonkey

    secretdonkey

    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Hang in there, Stew. As I told you, I'm going through divorce right now and although the situation is a bit different from yours, it's still an extremely wrenching thing to go through. Time will be our friend no matter what the outcome, I've been told.

    BTW, if I've been a bit scarce around TB, that's a big part of the reason. I'll be back in full force with my obnoxious self in due time. ;)
     
  16. Wow Stew,

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I just helped my brother through a divorce that took aver a year and he is still in love with her. My .02 is this:

    You can only do what you can and listen to your heart. Things always work out wether it's what you wanted or needed at the time or not. Every mistake I have ever made (And there are some seriously big ones) has resulted in putting me in a place that was better for me in the long run. We are all who we are because of the experiences we go through and I would not change any of those things in my life. I hope that you find your way through these problems. I want you to know that I agree with Groovecenter when he said that your presence on TB makes a difference... I know it has for me. If there is anything that I can do for you... just let me know.
     
  17. thanks, cats. it's been a weird week and I think there's more weirdness ahead, but I'm really lucky to have the friends that I do. you never know how supported you are in this life until something bad happens and you can't handle it alone. every day, regardless of the pain and confusion, I see that my life is much more rich and full than I knew.

    it's horrible to be glad that others are going through the same thing but incredibly comforting not to feel so alone. I hope that I can offer even a shred of all you cats have done for me somehow.

    thank you, everyone.

    hope it's a good weekend for you all.

    Stew
     
  18. Hey Stew....

    Hope everything is holding together, bro. Between here and MySpace, you are definitely getting the support. Hang in there and things will look up. It just may take some time.

    Good luck with everything, and keep us posted!