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Time to vent

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by lavaxtris, Oct 28, 2013.


  1. lavaxtris

    lavaxtris

    Feb 3, 2009
    Stow
    So our current drummer is pissing me off right now. He's not returning texts or facebook messages, he deleted the comment I made about trying to reach him. We have practiced a month now to get ready for our show and relations seemed fine up until the 18th of October.

    I've seriously have had enough with these people.

    This has already happened once before to our band, from a guy named Doug.... he ignored us for a month and then finally texted back that he didn't want to do it anymore. we basically call this "pulling a Doug"

    Our first drummer left for college, three people auditioned but were not interested after that, our second drummer lasted a year but didn't show up to practice half of the time and then started demanding things so we had to get rid of him. Why cant we seem to keep drummers? Are they all this stupid?
     
  2. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    All the good ones are already out there gigging in multiple bands. You just gotta find one and try to keep him/her interested by having good gigs.

    Might be a dick move, but I'd go ahead and find a sub for the gig. If your actual drummer decides to show up for the gig then tell him he has been fired for being unreachable.
     
  3. Bummer. Communication is very important - if you don’t get a reply from him today I highly recommend looking for a replacement.
     
  4. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Minneapolis
    Not a dick move at all.

    A CYA move.
     
  5. Runnerman

    Runnerman Registered Bass Player Supporting Member

    Mar 14, 2011
    Stupid people come in all shapes and sizes and play all kinds of instruments. Keep looking for a drummer.
     
  6. MetalSearGolid

    MetalSearGolid Cyperpunk Cowboy

    Aug 29, 2013
    Michigan, USA
    My drummer is a prima donna... was in a band that "almost made it", but broke up as they got signed. He's a talented drummer and we mesh well together musically, but he always brings girls over and spends half the practice showing off. I finally told him to stop showing off at practice, that's what gigs are for, and if he didn't like it then we'd find a new drummer or get a drum machine.

    It worked haha. He does what is asked of him now.
     
  7. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    Well most musicians are flakes after all :p
     
  8. MetalSearGolid

    MetalSearGolid Cyperpunk Cowboy

    Aug 29, 2013
    Michigan, USA
    I know I'm definitely a flake when it comes to running a band. It's hard to get everyone coordinated, there are tough decisions to be made, you have to organize everything... all on top of the other aspects of being a functional member of society (e.g. work, girlfriend, bills). Right now I'm just concentrating on writing music and once it's all ready, I'll be able to start coordinating rehearsals (as opposed to calling them practices...)
     
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    A few questions.........

    You have mentioned practice a BUNCH. Do you guys play out? For money? Regularly?
    Or do you just practice? How often? Weekly? Ten times a week?

    What I am trying to establish here is this. Is there any BENEFIT to playing with you guys? Is there money to be made? Or is this a garage band that may play out for free every six months?

    If the latter is the case, then you may find it hard to keep a drummer (or anyone with common sense). If you guys are paying some money out and keep losing drummers then you are just somehow attracting flakes.
     
  10. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    Yes and depending on others while you are trying to run a band starts to get to you real quick when all the fun wears off.

    This is why being a weekend warrior and trying to build or run a band really takes allot of commitment and sacrifice often for little return.

    Those who try to make music their lives will do anything to make it, they don't have allot of of obstructions like jobs, bills, girlfriends get in their way . Some of them live meager lives with their eye on the prize ...no distractions.
     
  11. lavaxtris

    lavaxtris

    Feb 3, 2009
    Stow
    We practice no more than twice a week and since our drummer is new to us and hasn't learned all the material, we just got a small show to warm up with on Nov 22nd.

    Our guitarist's dad was going to fund us and find us shows and our drummer seemed pretty excited about it. Then one day after practice he packed everything up to do some "drum covers", talked with us for 2 hours about personal stuff and left. Then he texted us a week later that he would be ready to practice again, asked about the upcoming show, and then decided not to respond for two weeks afterward.
     
  12. You are not in a famous band that is making a lot of money (in which case, dealing with diva personalities might be understandable because, well . . . you are getting paid handsomely and fans get used to the original lineup of a band), so save yourself some major headaches and just get another drummer (don't even tell him.) He might be very talented, but problematic band members end up being a very destructive force.
     
  13. obimark

    obimark

    Sep 1, 2011
    Sometimes its the drummer, sometimes its the gui****s, a LOT of the times its the vocalist. But MOSt of the time us Bassist's are the coolest MOFO in the band. This has been my experience.
    Am kind of going through this now- and this time its the drummer.
    The guys who started the band sent out an initial setlist- which in general is mostly easy songs that most people who have played in ANY band would know anyhow- think Jimi, Foo Fighters... well two practices in a row, drummer sits their shakes his head and says "I don't know how to play these." Not for one song, but like 4-5 songs from the list.
    Well if he wasn't going to learn them, why not say so ahead of time?
    To me I get real bored playing the same 6 songs over and over for 2.5 hours because one band member didn't learn the other 6. And this is just to establish a first set. NOONE said that it would never change.
    "Yeah let's run through that one again!" How about no. I already played it right the first time. I ain't here to be your warm up boy. :bassist:
     
  14. Hmm. I guessing this is the problem or at least part of the problem - you "practice" as a group and do it to often (twice a week = at least 8 times a month) without any or enough good gigs. My guess is the drummer didn’t/doesn’t think the up and coming gig is worth the extra time it takes practicing as group and isn’t excited over your next gig. To many sticks and not enough carrots (all work and no reward).

    Tell us more about the next up and coming gig - for example, how far away is it (miles), how many people will be attending, how much does the gig pay each band memeber, and etc, etc?

    EDIT: PS, (+1 to two fingers posts) - he has good insight, so pay attention to his post, because if you do, they will/should help you.
     
  15. hsech

    hsech Work hard. My Social Security needs a raise.

    Jun 27, 2012
    Central Iowa
    Instead of texting and Facebook, why don't you simply give him a call. I text band members a lot, but follow up with a phone call if it's important.
     
  16. IPYF

    IPYF

    Mar 31, 2011
    Did you actually try and physically phone him?

    Texting people and facebooking them when you actually need something from them urgently is stupid. You need to call. Posting comments on someone's facebook wall when they're non-responsive is somewhat cowardly especially when you have no information as to what might be going on in that person's life that's preventing them from getting back to you. It's essentially a public attempt to shame them for ignoring you when you haven't even determined what's going on.

    If you need someone to act on something or to provide you with a candid explanation of their actions you need to physically speak to them or meet in person. If someone doesn't pick up their phone you can replace them.

    I know we're moving towards this big new internet/text dominated world but I never classify someone as non-responsive until I've had the phone ring out on me a couple of times.
     
  17. lavaxtris

    lavaxtris

    Feb 3, 2009
    Stow
    I don't know where you or Two Fingers are getting the idea we practice a lot, because 2 times a week for a single month is not a lot considering our genre is difficult to full off (progressive rock) and we are in the middle of writing new songs with our drummer for the upcoming show. He's not ready and doesn't know the songs enough to play a decent show, and the small show we got was offered to us from a friend. We were also in the middle of changing our practice area to a bigger, more secure one.
     
  18. mpdd

    mpdd neoconceptualist

    Mar 24, 2010
    LA
    this time i was smart, i found a guy that's going to school for music production and another guy who is a programmer, they actually take notes and and ask my input, i was shocked also by the fact that they asked me to please play louder with a more aggro tone, after all of the bs it's nice to deal with people who aren't hell bent on self sabatoge
     
  19. lavaxtris

    lavaxtris

    Feb 3, 2009
    Stow
    I want to get back on this topic:

    I don't care if he wants to leave the band, for any reason... but what makes him think he has the right to purposely ignore every message, call or text we send at him? He needs to stop making us play waiting games and give us some kind of response. He is just wasting our time.
     
  20. IPYF

    IPYF

    Mar 31, 2011
    Take the one fact you have and work from there.
    Fact: You have a show coming up and no drummer to play that show.

    You have to address this fact and only this fact. It's the only one of any real consequence. You can be as dirty as you like at your drummer but at this juncture you might have to accept that he doesn't want to talk to you. Always remember that the person flogging the dead horse looks like the nutter. The horse does not, because it is dead.
     

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