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Tips for picking up women

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by AltIII, May 5, 2003.

  1. AltIII


    Sep 3, 2002
    Ok, sorry to sound like another 19 yo virgin, but...well I'm a 19 yo virgin. Honestly, I'm not looking to tap any arse, but I wouldn't mind some tips on being total suave Don Juan.
    Problem is, while otherwise a witty and funny guy, when I'm around a girl who catches my fancy, I get nervous. Has anyone else here had the same problem? It would help to know of some ways to become less inhibited.

    Bah, I sound like a loser, but such is life....
  2. Resist the urge to talk about yourself. I think many guys try to convince women that they are cool/interesting/smart/whatever by explaining themselves or talking about themselves in general. Bad idea and common mistake.

    Instead, ask questions about THEM. Show genuine interest in what THEY have to say. Make them the center of attention. It all starts there. Trust me on this one.
  3. Remember, when picking up a woman, lift with your legs so you don't hurt your back.

    It would be best to ask her permission first.
  4. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    Never try too hard. Females smell desperation over long distances...
    Things will happen when you expect them the least...
  5. Johnalex


    Jul 20, 2001
    South Carolina

    true...also don't use lines, except if they are cute..there is a difference between cute and tacky. Just be yourself
  6. At your age, yes. As Johnalex said, be yourself. There's no secret formula. If a girl is interested in you, it's hard for you to do wrong, if she's not interested you might as well be a circus animal performing tricks for its dinner. If you're on the same frequency, you'll connect.

    Good luck.

  7. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    Heh, I doubt there's anyone here who hasn't had the same problem :D

    The only advice I can think of at the moment is, don't become attached to it. You may really want to get with a girl, but try to release your attachment to it. Realise that, however important it seems - it really doesn't matter. It's ok if you don't get with her, it's ok if she doesn't like you. Don't be bothered by any outcome, and don't pressure yourself.

    I've always thought the standard-line "be yourself", is theoretically, very good advice. But in practice - it can be very difficult to do, when in the presence of that girl. You still get worked up about it, and all the time "be yourself" is going through your head - you concentrate so much on trying to be yourself, that you're not being yourself... because if you were, you wouldn't have to try, right? :)

    I think you have to release attachment to it. If you aren't worried about getting with this girl, if you don't mind whether you she likes you or not - and you are very clear that whatever the outcome is, it's ok - I think you stand a much better chance of being yourself.

    That's not to say you shouldn't show interest in her, and it's not to say you suppress any kind of desire (definitely not that!) - it's just a difference in your state of mind. It's about detachment from results.
  8. First off, all the advice others have given so far is right on...listen to them.

    Duh, this is easy... alcohol.

    (In moderation of course; puking or acting drunk will obviously get you nowhere. And remember, "TalkBass does not condone or glorify the recreational use of any type of controlled or illegal substance." - Blackbird)

    Now, if you want to avoid such crutches, it's just a matter of overcoming your fear. I definitely used to get severely nervous around the hotties, and I won't say that I don't even now, but considering the phone number I got at my last gig (and she's cute too! :D ), I think my situation has improved. Essentially it boils down to "practice doesn't make perfect, but it'll make you suck less."

    However, if you're lying about not wanting to just "tap some arse", find an equally horny single friend and get to it. "Friends with benefits" has worked better for me than any actual relationship so far, especially now that I've realized I don't want any kind of commitment right now :smug: You're a year or two younger than me, so you might discover the same thing. Figure out what you want first, then figure out how to get it.
  9. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000

    j/k :D
  10. notduane


    Nov 24, 2000
    I hear the Fireman's Carry is quite effective :)
  11. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    hey, I'm 28 and I still get a little nervous about striking up a conversation sometimes - I think that it's important that you think of a woman that interests you as just another person. You just gotta remember that she's just another person - she has a job or goes to school just like anybody else...she goes to the bathroom just like anybody else... So when you see that person that is the object of your desires, try hard not to objectify her - think of her as a person - it's easier to talk to another person than it is to talk to the object of your desire.
  12. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000
    1st and foremost be yourself. Too many times when people are trying to meet the opposite sex, you meet thier "representative" instead of the real them. Thats why alot of times relationships dont work, People tend to be nicer etc, when you 1st meet them, then down the road you find out they arent the same person you met a short while ago.

    So just be yourself make some small talk and get a feel for who she is. Making her laugh is always a good thing, but you wanna be funny without trying to be funny, and you dont wanna be too funny. She might think you're nothing but a clown that doesnt take things seriously if you're always being funny.

    If she has pretty eyes, compliment them, same with her hair, or even the outfit she has on. But be genuine about it.

    After making some small talk and getting her to feel comfortable with you, just politly ask her out for coffee, dinner, or something she and you both like to do. (you shouldve found that out through the small talk) I dont recomend taking her to a movie. Kinda a waste of time taking someone you're trying to get to know to a place where you have to be quiet for 2 hours.

    But the best way to meet a woman is to simply walk up to one and say "Hi"
  13. be sure to talk extensively about your favorite video games and science fiction novels.
  14. incognito89x

    incognito89x ♪♫♪ ♪ ♪ ♫&#983

    Sep 22, 2002
    Royal Oak, Michigan
    I've always found the easiest way it to ask them about themselves. See what you can notice about them. Something they do, or something they have. Example, and new girl starts working, you ask her how she likes the job, etc, etc, and then conversation can spin off from there. Find something interesting about them to ask.
  15. And Star Trek.
  16. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    and constantly tell the girl how much she reminds you of the leading female character and how lovely she would look in her costume...
  17. DanGouge


    May 25, 2000
    This is very true!
  18. Blast it, Roark, this was the first thing to come to mind when I saw the thread title, and you took it.

    Anyway, man, listen to what the other posters said. Also, be really confident and don't suck up to her. Making her laugh or doing something unexpected confidently is much better than being a whiny little geek showering her with compliments.
  19. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss
    You could borrow my Lotus. Then again, maybe not.

  20. Im a sock

    Im a sock

    Dec 23, 2002
    Central MA
    Here's a tip: when the conversation starts turning into non-stop stories, end it. end it quick.


    Girl: "I remember this one time, blah blah blah....."
    Guy: "Oh yeah... and this one time I blah blah blah...."
    Girl: "Thats funny... this one time... I... blah blah blah..."
    Guy: "Something like that happened to me. I was blah blah blah..."

    You get the idea. Just be yourself, and remember its not the end of the world if it doesnt work out.

    Also, I heard girls dig bass players.... uh.... right??? :confused: :(

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