Too funny to be sad.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Woodchuck, Jan 10, 2004.

  1. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    We put an ad in a local rag looking for a drummer, and the first person we got was a doozy! This guy calls and says that he's been playing for about 15 years and that he was 28 years old. Fine. We agree to meet face to face, and this 45+ year old guy shows up in braids, sneakers, the required bling, and a baggy jeans/jacket outfit. :rolleyes:
    him: "What's up my ni**a!"
    me: "Dude, you ain't 28, and I ain't your ni**a!"
    lead throat(laughing): "Be cool, 'Chuck."
    him: "I look old for my age."
    me: "Okay, here's a CD."

    Fast forward to 2 days later.
    (phone rings)
    me: "Hello?"
    him: "Hey man, I wanna level with you."
    me: "Go ahead."
    him: "I'm 49, and I just got out of prison. I did 14 years for a used car scam, as well as some credit card stuff. I'm totally legit now, I'm a preacher and I got some people who are getting ready to invest in an idea I got. I'll have some money to get some drums in about 2 weeks."
    me: "That's cool. BTW, our old drummer decided to come back." (I was really thinking: Didn't you just get out of prison for this sort of thing?)

    This would've been sad, if it wasn't so funny!
  2. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses, Hipshot products
    thanks. that was some great saturday afternoon entertainment. i love drummers.
  3. pyrohr


    Aug 28, 2001
    Pakistani compound
    Did he at least give the cd back? :D
  4. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    I feel your pain.

    Years ago, we got hooked up with a drummer that was "between kits," so the only practice he got was at our rehearsals. He used to sit during breaks at practice and play with his butterfly knife (flick it open and closed, pick his fingernails with it, etc.). The first time any of us ever met the guy, he proceeded to smoke a bowl before letting us know he was ready to begin. He didn't ask if anyone minded, including the owner of the house, he just pulled out his ***t, packed it and started smoking. After a few weeks, I called him up to fire him. He promptly got on the phone to my guitarist and told him that I was nothing but an a****le and the rest of the band were mindless sheep, that did whatever I told them to do. Anyway...

    I ran into him about a year ago. He supposedly cleaned himself up and got his ***t together, but he must have remembered me and the comments he made about me, because he didn't look me in the eye the entire time I was talking to him. He just stared at his shoes.

    We had another drummer that insisted on doing a drum solo at every gig, or he was going to quit. He made this ultimatum exactly one week after he was hired by us. A few months later he quit, because his mother had convinced him that he should write and record his own solo CD and then become a producer. I hadn't heard anything about him until a few months ago, when I heard he'd started putting a band together. I heard he told the guitarist, "No one will play guitar in my band unless they're better than I am."


    Good luck, Woody.
  5. malthumb


    Mar 25, 2001
    The Motor City
    Okay, let me see if I got this straight......

    A reformed ex-con / con man who is now a man of the cloth introduces himself by lying to you......And you don't believe him? ;)

    Your assessment is spot on. Too funny to be sad.


  6. The only good drummer story that I have is about a guy who worked in the drum shop at my Guitar Center. He looked exactly like Ronnie James Dio. And I mean exactly!! It was frightening!!


    Don't look at me like that.:bag:

    Rock on
  7. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
  9. Squidfinger

    Squidfinger I wish I could sing like Rick Danko.

    Jan 7, 2004
    Shreveport LA

    DIO RULES!!!!!

    "Heaven and Hell" is my favorite Black Sabbath album.

    Dio > Ozzy

  10. hehehe

    i wouldn't had been able to converse with him cause i would have been laughing too hard at his attempts to be "hip"
  11. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    C'mopn Woodchuck you know how TB works! We want pics :)
  12. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Some people never get it.

    Who does 14 YEARS for a used car
    scam. !?!

    Try armed felony robbery, aggravated assault
    and a few more counts. I don't think I would
    want the guy to know my address.

    Stay away from this dude, he is bad news ...
  13. JimK


    Dec 12, 1999
    Whadda tale.
    That'll teach you.
    Stay away from those boards at the music stores. What exactly did your ad ask for? I'm curious.

    There's always a bright side- least he had the uniform happenin'.
  14. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Depending on his criminal background,......
  15. The guy probably never held a drumstick in his hands... :rolleyes:
  16. I bet got 14 years because the "used cars" were still being their owners. I think grand theft auto might get you 14 years, not sure though.