Too Sheltered Children?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Freaky Fender, Sep 9, 2002.

  1. My reading class was having a discussion on how sheltered and under-exposed our children are becoming, before 9/11. My parents (my mom in particular) sheltered me alot, it wasn't under i was 10 or 11 that they started to peel the layers off of the "bubble" that they had put up to me. Even though most of the bubble had been peeled away, on 9/11, i felt most of it pop, and me hit the sidewalk of the real world... I may have not have taken it as hard as most of the kids that were more sheltered, may still even be in therapy. All over the media... so what are your thoughts on this topic?
  2. Ha! I have friends that aren't allowed to step foot outside of their house until they turn 16, much less even date. Especially after 9/11. I think there's a point where too much shelter begins to smother a child, my parents were very lienent when I was a teen. They'de let me go out and stay out just as long as they knew what I was doing, where I was going and as long as I did practice moderation. True I took advantage of that lienency more than once, and I got punnished. But they didn't go as far as to remove the door off of my room or suspend me from anything that would deprive me. Like most of my friends' parents would have done. I find myself to be very lucky to have such good parents, but at the same time I feel sorry for my friends who are even more sheltered than they were before. If only everyone had hippies for parents. :rolleyes:
  3. everyone is sheltered until you are at least 13 or so...facts of life, people. 10 year olds aren't gonna comprehend something like 9/11 as well as an adult. Call it a mental cover you put on yourself as a child and pull off when you get older
  4. Some are and some aren't. I know of kids who are 9 and wandering the neighborhood. I also know of friends who's parent wouldn't let them date till they were out of highschool.

    What I hate is the parental excuse of, "But what if I need to get a hold of you?"

    Very nice. And if our plans are to be at the beach? Do you know the phone number for sand? My dad just used that one on my sister because she got a ride home with a friend instead of using the bus. You can't call the bus. She got home EARLIER than if she had ridden the bus.

    Whatever. I am VERY tired, and want to go to bed.

    Rock on
  5. jazzbo


    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
    What do you mean by "sheltered?" If you were to keep children completely within the confines of the house, give them little or no exposure to the "real" world, you may be subjecting them to a worse fate. Between television, the internet, and radio, I wonder how anyone could be sheltered. As television and radio continues to push the line, children are exposed to more and more. Deplorable violence, profanity, lack of morality, all these things are abundant in the "arts" our major media sources put out. How sheltered can you be with KoRn and Eminem blasting out records as we watch "24" and "CSI" shoot people and then dissect them, all the while avoiding porn pop-up ads and spam email to find anything our demented minds want on the internet.

    Sheltered? I think it's time to start.
  6. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    IMO, we're just seeing a different need for "sheltering" these days.

    30 years ago and before, we had an incredible lack of sheltering when we went out the front door. But, there was no dark side of computer tech to guard us from and turning on the TV was predictable and completely "safe." Only the freedom that existed on the radio back then was presenting us with uncensored, unexpected, media. When I was 6 yrs. old, my father acted like he was going to force me out of the car because I had a hissy fit over his unwillingness to leave Elvis playing on the radio! And our parents still remarked back then "how fast kids grow up these days."

    I've seen many people from the coasts move here to the Midwest because they feel it affords their families the best shot at experiencing a stable, safe, sense of "community" (and that's quite true to an extent, IME, compared to what I experienced in NYC, S. Cal, and Florida).

    The mentality that attempts to "child-proof" the world P.O.'s me when I see it stifling a child's development. For example, I know a couple who recently bought a ranch so they could raise their kids where the kids wouldn't have to confront and to be exposed to "the real world." If those kids don't leave the nest in due time, they are going to be unprepared for a reality where they will probably be ridiculed for their provincialism.

    In short, I guess I wouldn't want kids to know how to load a Glock......but I'd want to afford them the opportunity to know what a Glock is.
  7. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    This is a very interesting subject. I think how much you shelter your kids depends on the age of your kids and the kids ability to cope. As the father of 5 and 7 year old kids I certainly shelter them more than if they were 15 and 17. I think I shelter my kids more than most of my neighbors. Some of my neighbors 7 year olds went to see the latest Austin Powers movie where some of the characters names where **** you and **** me. I think thats way outside the line for a seven year old. I understand the argument of too much sheltering leads to the inability to deal with the real world at a later stage. But, I feel, they also have the rest of their lives to find out that the world can be a cruel, harsh and ugly place. I'd rather have them, at this point of their lives, believe the world is a beautiful, kind and gentle place.
  8. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    Swingbass got me thinking about something I forgot about --- Until a kid gave me reason not to trust them, I can't see saddling them with a cell phone so I can get continual reports on where they are/what they're doing.

    I think if I was a teen or younger, I would find more incentive to not be a druggie because my parents trusted me. If I screwed them over, then I'd have to accept the consequences. But, giving someone the benefit of the doubt from the get-go can be powerful stuff.
  9. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    Trust can be a very powerful tool. I remember when my Mom found out I was smoking weed. This was back in high school. She had no idea that I was smoking. I'll never forget the look of utter diappointment on her face. I really hurt her. I never smoked again. :( .
  10. Demonfish22


    Jul 31, 2002
    Bath, England
    IMO this is a very important matter, and also very dificult to get right. I know kids who have been smoking weed since the age of 8, and my 9 year old cousin is flowing with profanities (including the 'F' word) with his parents not batting an eyelid. At age nine I had barely grown out of saying 'poo' and then giggling behind my hand.

    However, there's a boy in my class who was home-educated until he was 11, and his social akills and personality are about four years behind everyone elses, and he is (unfortunately for him) highly unpopular. There's another kid who, at the age of 15, still isn't allowed out on his own and can only meet friends out of school if it is arranged a week in advance and he is getting a lift there and back. I'm not sure if he's ever had a sleepover.

    Young children may not fully understand or be able to deal with the events of 9/11, but they should not be hidden from it or have it excessively censored. However, I think this is a matter which it is impossible to dictate a right or wrong way to deal with, and it has to just be up to the families.

    btw, about the Austin Powers thing, I feel that a young child would just not get the joke. If they didn't know the 'F' word in the first place then they wouldn't register that the names 'Fook Yu' and 'Fook Mi' were coarse puns on the 'F' word.
  11. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    kiddo, you are exposed to the bare wires of reality compared to how i was raised.

    i feel sorry for the youth of today. childhood is a wonderful, precious, priceless thing, to be wallowed in and enjoyed to the last drop while you have it (and chased mercilessly when it's gone). seems like the kids of today are losing the opportunity to enjoy their childhood as they ought to.
  12. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    Very well put. Let them be kids
  13. When I was 16 I hiked from Yeovil to Liskeard across Dartmoor with a friend. We camped by the roadside.

    That was in the 70s, when the world was still 'safe' for sensible people.

    This summer, my 16 year old took a bus down to Side (south Turkey) for 10 days with a few friends.

    Much of the world is still safe for sensible people.

    Freedom is a wonderful thing, and is to be experienced by young people.
  14. Thinking about it, my generation is probably unique in the history of the world in being able to say to its children, "Yup, we had it better than you do."

    hah! That's a miserable thing to say, isn't it?
  15. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    Well the whole thing about which era was safe is a moot point. Can you imagine telling someone who grew up in the 50's that the seventies were safe? In the 50's, I hear, there was Pat Boone and people didn't lock their doors. The 70's were post helter skelter. And on and on it goes. 25 years from now we're going to look back on this time in history and long for the good ole days.
  16. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    I would hope and expect that the mentality of our youth is "Change what you refuse to accept." We have the power to "set things right" again.

    If that means we pave the Mideast with asphalt to build gas stations where the women are treated better than donkeys, so be it.

    The stakes are survival ---- not finding a means to tolerate a civilzation built on a relatively recent religion that hasn't really comprehended electricity yet. This is no longer about "understanding." It's about "muscle".....and these medieval puds are anemic.

    The Western world has always been perfectly willing to coexist with their intolerance. They weren't, so it's time to throw off the gloves and see who is the "baddest ass on the block" once and for all.

    Just like the last "war" (if you can call that rout a "war"), I doubt we'll be able to strip search their chicken-asses as fast as they surrender.

    It's no wonder my ol' buddy, Iqbal, from Pakistan thought his countrymen were fools.
  17. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    Did I miss something? When did we get off at this exit?
  18. This exit?

    I think that was personal.
  19. FunkySpoo

    FunkySpoo Supporting Member

    Feb 6, 2002
    Not at all. I thought we were talking about kids being too sheltered or how much to shelter kids. Now we're opening up a can of whoop ass. I think I just don't get the connection.
  20. I have a friend, Ryan, who has had this other friend, Joel, since kindergarden. They're both my age and just 6 months ago Joel had Ryan to sleep over.
    Halloween time, Ryan and I were going to trick or treat (more of the teen trick or treat) and Joel was suppose to go with this other guy but didn't and asked to come with us. So we said yes like good friends but we had to meet every 15 minutes and couldn't leave the subdivison like Ryan and I wanted to.
    I just hate to see this. My parents never sheltered me, they just told me right from wrong, good from bad, etc. I am so glad I got the parents I did (I don't want 2 use love on a bass forum). My orchestra teacher told me how cool my parents are. If you're kid doesn't get out, they might be book smart but they'll never make it in NYC or LA or Las Vegas. So let your kids do whatever they want and then when they do something wrong, tell them.