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Took TB's Advice Whether I Liked it or Not

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Obese Chess, Oct 4, 2015.

  1. Obese Chess

    Obese Chess I'm Your New Dad Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2005
    Portland, OR
    So many of you may remember this firestorm of a thread: Bandleader Violated Rule One of Touring. Yoko Ono on the Road. Now What? | TalkBass.com

    We returned home from tour on Wednesday night, and as the other guys began uploading photos from Tour, particularly the bandleader, I couldn't help but notice that I wasn't in any of them. I thought I was the only person who noticed but a few friends mentioned it to me as well.

    Today at practice, during load-in, I get the bad news: I'm out. During tour they felt like I had a "bad attitude," particularly after the BL's wife showed up, and that there was a lot of "friction" between me and the other band members, particularly BL's wife (who's part of the band, remember?) - now according to the guys this wasn't JUST because of BL's wife but every example I was given of my "bad attitude" by all of the guys was directly related to something BL's wife had said or done to me that I found offensive or insulting (and I always said so).

    Apparently there just weren't any "bro moments" with me and I didn't feel like "part of the family" with the other four guys (plus one).

    No discussion, no argument, just a "thanks for quitting your job to come on tour with us, we are already training your replacement for all of our shows this month and next and we need you to tab out your lines for when we go to the studio next month"

    Very distressing because these guys were very good friends to me, or so I thought, and none of this stuff was brought up to me on tour. Also a bummer because another HUGE local band was looking for a bass player last week and I passed on the opportunity because I was with these guys for the long haul. At the same time, comforting because if this is how they do things then I really dodged a bullet.

    So uh, anyone in Portland need a bass player?
    andruca, yakmastermax and SirMjac28 like this.
  2. 3rdWatch


    Feb 9, 2009
    Escondido, Ca
    Well, live, learn and move in. They did you a favour. Not sure about the "we need you to tab bass lines for the studio" part. Are they paying you for that? Withholding pay till its done? There are bands for fun, but when its a job, (I.E. paid relationship) there are no favours unless it fosters future business. Your time is valuable, and it sounds like they've already determined their perception of that is less than...
  3. Max Blasto

    Max Blasto

    Nov 29, 2010
    San Diego

    Sorry it went down like that. Hopefully, you're not tabbing anything for them.
    I think you have the right attitude though: bullet has been dodged.

    Good luck on your next project.
  4. Tell them to kiss your tab.
    Old Blastard, Mike N, design and 22 others like this.
  5. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member

    You're on the bus or off the bus.

    If you're no longer a member of the band you have zero obligation to furnish tabs - and I wouldn't unless you were getting paid to do so. (And I'd get the money up front if I were you before you so much as picked up a pen or mouse to do it.)

    Normally I don't suggest people do things to burn bridges. But there's apparently no bridges to burn - since you were dismissed without warning, discussion, or recourse (and I wouldn't allow them to characterize it as you "quitting" or anything otherwise) - I don't see anything left worth salvaging in that relationship.

    As you yourself put it, you dodged a bullet. Don't give them the opportunity to get a second shot in.

    "Training" your replacement is not your responsibility.

    Take the hit, learn from it, and move on. You're better off without a group that operates like that one.

    Or at least so I think.
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2015
  6. pcake

    pcake Supporting Member

    Sep 20, 2011
    Los Angeleez
    i was reading the other thread yesterday and wondering what happened.

    i'm sorry you were fired, but if these guys think mean and racist behavior is okay, you're probably better off out. that will give you a chance to play with guys who you're on the same page with. as far as being friends, it seems they're fine with insulting homeless people and people of other races, and i get the idea you aren't cool with that, so maybe this was a good way to find out where your friends were really at.

    i was typing this while 40Hz was typing his. i agree with his post completely.
  7. MD


    Nov 7, 2000
    Marin Co. CA.
    I wouldn't tab squat.
    I'd also thank them for saving me the time in writing a letter explaining why I'm quitting the band.
  8. Shovel


    Jun 4, 2013
    Don't tab anything or train any replacement, you have no obligation. While it sucks that you're out, being fired by a racist for "bad attitude" is too much. Good luck in finding a new group/
  9. Obese Chess

    Obese Chess I'm Your New Dad Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2005
    Portland, OR
    Thanks all.

    I think I'm mostly pissed that it's pretty clear that this was NOT a group decision, and if it was, it was a railroaded one.

    And don't worry, I'm not tabbing poopie. It'll be nice to see if the new guy comes up with something half as tasty as I did.
  10. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Sux. It sounds like the rest of the guys play politics better than you do, though.
  11. friendlybass


    Jul 19, 2012
    Sucks dude, I was in a very similar situation right out of high school. Quit my job, quit my other band, sold some stuff I really regret selling to get money together for a tour, only to be told my energy just wasn't right for the band after I spoke up after leaders woman was Christian bashing and I said hey lets keep it classy guys I'm a Christian, boom next week out the tour cause we didn't click.
    It's kind if uncomfortably emotional. Getting fired from a job comes with more of the righteous indignation and none of the"what if they are right?" Stuff. Kind of an awkward combo of breaking up and getting fired.
    My advice as far as moving forward, trash any ill will, laugh, learn, and move along. Don't be one of those chronically sad musicians, just keep moving forward
    RyFi, JustForSport, Sixgunn and 8 others like this.
  12. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Well, that sucks. Probably for the best in the long run, though.
    Ewo and Zooberwerx like this.
  13. twinjet

    twinjet What does God need with a starship? Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    Sucky. I was gigging with a group for some time and the BL thought I was doing well, or so I thought.

    Before a practice, the lead guitarist and good friend of BL tried pitching me life insurance. I almost went with it, but backed out last minute. Within a week, I get a call from BL saying I was out, that she wanted someone with more experience. To be fair, I had only begun playing blues rock that year as jazz was my main thing.

    Maybe it was just crappy timing, but I'm real sure my desire to not buy life insurance might have had something to do with this. Oh well, the guitar guy was kind of a d**kbag anyway.
    hrodbert696 likes this.
  14. npbassman


    Apr 25, 2002
    I'd be saying TAB THIS right here.
  15. baileyboy


    Aug 12, 2010
    Exactly right!
    Mike A likes this.
  16. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion Gold Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    There's a reason why so few bands make it out of the millions that are out there because.............

    andruca, Max Blasto, tifan and 3 others like this.
  17. AdamR

    AdamR Supporting Member

    Sep 24, 2007
    Bethel CT
    Sucky, I hope the new guy has a good ear and can learn those parts fast lol
  18. The hypocrisy of the BL should have been a red flag. No significant others on tour means just that. No exceptions. This is what happens when that policy is violated. Sorry you got the short end of the stick but I think you are better off. You don't need a "Yoko" causing friction between the band members. It is a no win situation for all. Good luck on your next project. :):cool::bassist:
  19. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member


    There was once a little cucumber that got put in a barrel of brine with some pickles. The little cucumber thought to itself, I don't want to become a stupid pickle. So I'm gonna do everything within my power not to get brined!

    Many weeks went by as the little cucumber furiously resisted the insidiously insistent effects of the brine it sat in. And then one fine day, the little cucumber looked at itself in a mirror and discovered a miracle had occurred.

    It was now a pickle!

    Moral: Sit in the brine long enough with pickles and you become a pickle.

    Corollary: A cucumber is far more likely to get pickled than a pickle is ever to get cucumbered.


    @Obese Chess - you're better off now that you're out of it. :cool:
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2015
  20. Bajo Clarkko

    Bajo Clarkko

    Aug 9, 2015
    Be sure and go to their next show, sit/stand in front of their new bassist, and give him your best Chashire Cat smile.
    You may find it to be somewhat cathartic. Bring your friends, too.

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