5. "Ubersheist - call my lawyer, and if my Mom asks, don't tell her I got arrested!" 4. "OH NO! Did you just take a shot of that? Oh no... That's not vodka... that's tripentamethanol 13 from the lab! I set it out to off-gas the cynide! OH NO OH NO!!!!" 3. "Seriously dude? My wife?!?! You knew we were married when you rented the room!! I can't even look at you!" 2. "So, sorry to tell you this, Uber, but I just got foreclosed on. You have the legal right to stay here for 90 days rent-free, then You can thank Obama for that..... Me? I gotta go, but maybe I'll see you one day in Mexico. Oh, and look out for people who'll want to rip out the copper!" 1. "Ubes... it's not that I mind that you have girls over. It's more that when you're wrapping things up... well, it's really, really high pitched and sound like a pelican being strangled... I mean... Who sounds like that when having sex? It just really creeps me out." Ok, none of that stuff happened to me, although I did have a former landlord bail to Mexico after getting foreclosed on. I was just wondering if anyone had any good, funny former roommate stories. I've got a few... Anyone else?