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Top Country Songs (sorry no bass content)

Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by Bijoux, Feb 26, 2005.

  1. Bijoux


    Aug 13, 2001
    Top Country Songs of 2004

    15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
    14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
    13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
    12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
    11. I Still Miss You Baby...... But My Aim's Gettin' Better
    10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
    9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
    8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're still Here
    7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By now
    6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
    5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
    4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
    3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
    2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
    And, the Number one Favorite Country Song of 2004 Is:
    1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
  2. anonymous0726

    anonymous0726 Guest

    Nov 4, 2001
    I Cain't Get Over You, So You'll Have to Answer the Phone
    Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalpost of Life
  3. Get off the stove--you're too old to ride the range.
  4. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    Not a title, but one of my fav-o-right country lyrics of all time is from Hank's "Dear John" (with the band doing the bracketed line gangland style):

    That's all she wrote
    (Dear John)
    They sent your saddle home

    Along with "Drop Kick", don't forget Kinky's other classic:

    They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore
  5. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Lyrics? Here's a couple from fellow Maui boy Kris Kristofferson; variations on a theme.

    I woke up next morning feelin' like my head was gone
    And like my thick old tongue was lickin' somethin' sick and wrong

    That's pretty good; I like this one even better;

    Well I woke up Sunday mornin' with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
    And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert

    Something tells me Kris ain't making this s**t up.
  6. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    Some of my favorites:

    "You got knocked up, and I got locked up..you could say we both got screwed"

    "If bruises show your love, then your love sure shows up on me"

    "I'm my own Grandpa"

    ...and finally, one I'm in the process of writing:

    "I Can't Yodel If It's Modal" (wonder if the bluegrassers will get it?) :)
  7. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    "How Can I Respect You in the Morning When I Don't Respect You Now?"
  8. tsolo


    Aug 24, 2002
    Ft. Worth
    You Broke My Heart So, I Broke Your Jaw

    You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking
  9. Chasarms

    Chasarms Casual Observer

    May 24, 2001
    Bettendorf, IA USA
    I think you are right. I absolutely admire his lyrics. The complete song that you quoted is an all-time fav. For those less "refined" here the whole thing:

    Well I woke up Sunday morning
    with no way to hold my head, that didn't hurt
    and the beer I had for breakfast
    wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert

    Then I fumble through my closet for
    my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt
    and I shaved my face and combed my hair
    and stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

    I'd smoked my brain the night before
    and cigarettes and songs that I've been pickin'
    but I lit my first and watched a small kid
    cussin' at a can that he was kicking

    Then I crossed the empty street and caught
    the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
    and it took me back to somethin' that
    I'd lost somehow somewhere along away

    On a Sunday mornin' sidewalks
    wishing Lord that I was stoned
    'cause there is something in a Sunday
    that makes a body feel alone

    And there's nothin' short of dyin'
    half as lonesome as the sound
    on the sleepin' city side walks
    Sunday mornin' comin' down

    In the park I saw a daddy with
    a laughing little girl who he was swingin'
    and I stopped beside a Sunday school
    and listened to the song that they were singin'

    Then I headed back for home and
    somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'
    and it echoed though the canyon like
    the disappearing dreams of yesterday.

    - Kris Kristofferson
  10. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    I see him every now and then, he lives in Hana, further up the windward coast from my place. I look at that face and think, catcher's mitt. :smug: Great songwriter.
  11. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    ...you wanna throw your best fastball at his schnoz? :confused:
  12. Damon....you're such a Romantic.
  13. I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back in my Bed while I Cry Over You.
    Homer and Jethro.
  14. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Nope; he just looks kind of....weathered...broken in...like a... oh, never mind.
  15. Its hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your a$$ out all day long... :spit:
  16. Now it takes me all night to do what I use to do all night long... :eek:
  17. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    ...well my bucket's got a hole in it,
    I can't buy no beer...

  18. kip


    Sep 11, 2002
    Sausalito, Ca
    "I've got three mouths to feed, and yers is gettin bigger all the time." :bawl:
  19. mrpc

    mrpc Guest

    Feb 7, 2005
    I want to
    ride in
    The car that Hank
    died in


    put your sweet lips
    a little closer,
    to the phone


    I'll never get outta' this world alive

    on to:

    Bob Wills w/ The Texas Playboys put out alot of pretty funky stuff.
    :rollno: :cool: :)
  20. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Oh yeah, Jim Reeves! I forgot about that one.
    I like that old school country music.