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Tortoise joke.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Fender32, Jul 18, 2007.


  1. Fender32

    Fender32

    Jun 23, 2005
    Kent, England
    Sorry, I now that simply posting jokes is a bit lame, but you don't see many tortoise jokes, so why not .... :smug:


    Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.
    Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
    The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away, so it takes them ten days to get there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer.

    "Ok Roy give me the bottle opener" :)
    "I didn't bring it" says Roy :eyebrow:
    "I thought you packed it" Mick gets worried. :meh:

    He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
    Naturally, Andy didn't bring it. :rolleyes:

    So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all of the sandwiches if he's not there.

    After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, Roy finally agrees.

    So, Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace....

    20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving :( , but a promise is a promise :rolleyes: .

    Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is still a promise :( .

    Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it ... Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts,







    ..................................... :meh:




















    :mad: "I KNEW IT!!! I'M NOT ****ING GOING NOW!"






    :D Made me laugh, anyway.
     
  2. Marlat

    Marlat

    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    I think there is a reason you don't see too many tortoise jokes! :D
     
  3. Fender32

    Fender32

    Jun 23, 2005
    Kent, England
    :meh: Sorry, I'm a bit slow to catch on.

    ;)
     
  4. Marlat

    Marlat

    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    I'm just kidding...

    Anyway, these were some of the funniest jokes I have seen posted on TB. I don't mean to be offensive with them - I just thought, all things considered, it may be appropriate to repost them! :D

    :bag: :D
     
  5. wdinc01

    wdinc01

    Nov 19, 2005
    Jacksonville, FL
    Well those jokes aren't very funny at all! What are you trying to pull here, Mark?
     
  6. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    I laughed!
     
  7. Johnny Mac

    Johnny Mac Riff-finder General Supporting Member

    Sep 28, 2005
    Springfield, MA
    Here's a relevant quote from www.bash.org (turtles, not tortoises, but close enough):

     
  8. Ívar Þórólfsson

    Ívar Þórólfsson Mmmmmm... Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2001
    Kopavogur, Iceland
    That is actually very funny :D
     
  9. Ívar Þórólfsson

    Ívar Þórólfsson Mmmmmm... Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2001
    Kopavogur, Iceland
    Don't worry, he's from Australia, even though he lives in England now. That should explain everything.
     
  10. eedre

    eedre

    Feb 26, 2007
    St. Louis,MO
    Wow, that's dry!
     
  11. Marlat

    Marlat

    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    You haven't met many Germans have you?
     
  12. I thought his jokes were hilarious from a brutally relealistic perspective.
     
  13. 905

    905

    Jul 23, 2006
    Norway
    John Entwistle approves of this thread; so do I.
     
  14. bassturtle

    bassturtle

    Apr 9, 2004
    Yeah, those German jokes were great! When they were posted in the joke thread a couple months back, I copied and sent them to some friends. I got a 50/50 response :meh: Losers.
     
  15. SuperDuck

    SuperDuck

    Sep 26, 2000
    Wisconsin
    The tortoise joke made me lol hard.
     
  16. wdinc01

    wdinc01

    Nov 19, 2005
    Jacksonville, FL
    No I can't say that I have. And I'm not sure if I want to now.
     
  17. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    Surprisingly, the Germans that I've met were not the humorless sadists and automatons that British media portrays them to be!
     
  18. need4mospd

    need4mospd

    Dec 22, 2005
    Houston
    Terrible joke, we all know tortoises can't talk. :rolleyes:
     

  19. do they really? :meh:
    British People:rolleyes: :D
     
  20. excane

    excane Banned

    Aug 23, 2005
    New York, NY

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