Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by soundofphysics, Dec 25, 2000.

  1. soundofphysics


    Jul 17, 2000
    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the place
    Not a creature was rumbling, 'cept of course my bass
    The stockings were hung by the old amp wih care,
    In hopes that St. mingus soon would be there;

    The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of warwicks danced in their heads;
    And jaco with his jazz and i with my "p"
    Had just plugged in to play x-mas songs in g

    When out on the lawn there arose such a thwap
    I sprang from the bed to see who was playing slap
    Away to the window I flew like a flash,
    i heard a man playing a phish song called "stash"

    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
    Gave the lustre of modullus to squire's below,
    When, what to my wondering ears should ring,
    But a miniature carvin, with eight tiny round strings

    With a jazzy old driver, so lively and quick,
    I knew in a moment it was a wooten named vic
    More rapid than eagles his 116th notes did play
    And they popped, and plucked, and called out by name

    "Now, marcus now, chambers now, burton and stu hamm!
    On, geddy lee on jamerson! come on guys lets jam
    To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
    Now play the bass! play the bass! play the bass all!"

    guitarists that before the wild hurricane fly,
    When they meet with a bass note, all of them would die
    So up to the house-top the bassists thy flew
    With the sleigh full of pods, and a line 6 rack to

    And then, in a rumbling, I heard on the ceiling
    The prancing and pawing of each tone with feeling
    with an Ernie Ball in my hand, and was turning around,
    Down the chimney les claypool came with a pound.

    He was dressed all in fur, from his head to medulla
    he was carrying a 6 string i think maybe a pedulla ;
    A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
    And he looked like flea with a sock over his sack

    His frets -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
    His hardware like roses, his finish like a cherry!
    His droll little headstock was as long as an eel
    And the beard of his chin was black like otieal(and most of the other great bassists of all times)

    The butt of a stoge he held tight in his teeth,
    And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
    He had a broad face and a bass with great belly,
    That shook, when he played it like a bowlful of jelly.

    pattitucci was there a right jolly old elf,
    i was humbled when I saw him, in spite of myself;
    A pluck of his e string and a twist of his d
    Soon gave me to know I had no reason to flee

    stan clarke played not a note, but went straight to his work,
    And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
    And laying his finger aside of the neck
    And giving a nod, played some new song by beck

    they sprang to their van, to fly off tot eh next gig ,
    And away they all flew leaving me a new rig
    But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,

  2. cool man...where did you get that from?
  3. soundofphysics


    Jul 17, 2000
    i made it up- to much free time
  4. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    LOL. That was cool!

    Too much time on your hands indeed!;)

  5. Jay


    Oct 19, 2000
    Bidwell, OH
    :( I think they missed my house. No new rig for me. :(

    PS-That ROCKED!!!!! Rock on.
  6. Boplicity

    Boplicity Supporting Member

    That was really great fun and a creative rewirding of one of my childhood faves!

    Jason Oldsted
  7. ahh you have brough warmth to my freezing apartment
  8. Dude! This is boobies!!! I mean, this is big fat ultra mega boobies!!! :)

    (or something like that)

  9. Erlendur Már

    Erlendur Már

    May 24, 2000
    I don´t get it......
    and story!
  10. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    it's that time of year.. I think this deserves a bump :)
  11. beutiful man, just beautiful.

    i need a hug
  12. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
  13. CDuff


    Sep 14, 2002