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Two of my worst stage experiences.

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Mr. Pitiful, Feb 3, 2003.

  1. Mr. Pitiful

    Mr. Pitiful

    Jan 22, 2003
    Fargo ND
    about 10 years ago or so I was singing (didnt play bass back then) and the stage was too small so we added some big tables in front of the stage. Im halfway through a song and BAM!!!!! the folding legs on the table did just that. I fell through, and my foot was hung up on top, so all anyone could see was part of my leg sticking straight up. Of course the other band members werent gonna stop playing, so I had to finish singing the song that way.
    The other time, it was winter, wet shoes on all, and our guitar player decides he needs to dry out his amp from the snow, and takes the guts out of his amp and sets them on a STEEL milk crate. I am singing, and he turns torwards me to add some harmony's (BAD HARMONY'S) and his guitar strings touch my arm, and my mike touches my mouth...............yup, got electricuted in my face, (that might explain alot thinking back) and flew back airborn in to the wall and ended up in the ER. That was fun...NOT!!!!!!!!!! it sucked in SO many ways.

    Mr. Pitiful
  2. wow my worst was probably when we didnt realize some idiot unplugged everything and also used the power surge for something else....Damn idiots
  3. :eek: Wow! and :eek: Wow!

    I find it hard to believe your guitarist could be so stupid!

    I used to get shocks to my lips when my bass amp had an earthing problem. It took me a while before I realised it only happened when my hands were in contact with the strings too.
  4. Actually, there is a way of protecting yourself partially from getting electrocuted when playing bass, by putting a small cap (1nF) with a high voltage rating (500V) and a 220k resistor in parallel to each other and connecting the bridge over these to the ground instead of directly to ground.
    You keep the lower noise of grounded strings, and the shock you get will be weakened
  5. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    My worst stage experience? I had the flu, and it was about 100 degrees on stage. First, there was the dizzyness, then the seeing of the spots, but I tried to play on. How did it turn out? The best 1 1/2 song set ever! :D
  6. :eek: You mean..

    .. you passed out???

    ...someone spun you round then threw a leopard at you??

    ....your sets are usually only that long?

    What happened? Did they carry on without you? :confused: :)
  7. i could name three off of the top of my head...

    sheppton, pa, august 1986, getting accidentally bonked on the head by my guitarist's airborne strap-locked b.c. rich bich. he'd swung his guitar over his shoulder like cinderella used to do, and this one night I got damn near knocked the f*ck out. the rest of the band didn't realize what had happened, which sucked even more.

    some redneck bar in the boondocks of pennsylvania, different band, ten years later, trying to sing lead on "21st century digital boy" and damn near blowing my voice out despite my asking our soundman beforehand to turn the monitors up enough so that I could hear myself - something he hadn't been doing. got so pissed off at him that after the set I went up to the board and cut a very beliggerent promo on him (and damn near blew my voice out even more because of the guy - i'm surprised that I'm not sounding like tone-loc now!). [there is a slightly happy ending to that story - he quit later that week.]

    another redneck bar in the boondocks of pennsylvania, same band, same year. earlier that day, we had a very bigoted light tech on our crew who saw fit to give me sh*t about my having a tlc cd (crazy sexy cool) and a bunch of coltrane and miles discs in my possession (the comment was something along the lines of "why are you listening to that ****** sh*t? you're white and you're in a goddamn rock band!!"). off to a great start, huh? later that night, my wireless unit was cutting out PLUS I'd broken a string in the last song of the second set. after the set I was still onstage trying to fix the transmitter. some skynyrd yahoo comes up onstage and is trying to ask me why we didn't do such and such a song by such and such a band. i'm trying to fix things, so my attention is on the more important matter at hand. he gets offended (these inbred mensa members seem to have low everything, not just IQ points) and says very rudely, "hey boy, i'm asking you a question". already aggravated with all the gear problems on top of the racist comments from earlier, I just snapped and yelled at him, "hey, i'm trying to fix my equipment here, so f*ck you and your redneck heroes if you're too goddamned blind to see that!!!". [unfortunately, the racist light man would not see fit to quit... but three months later i would have more than my fill of the redneck bars we were habitually being booked into and quit the band entirely.]

    uggh... enough bad memories. i think i'm gonna put whiteberry's chameleon album on to change my mood...
  8. Mr. Pitiful

    Mr. Pitiful

    Jan 22, 2003
    Fargo ND
    Besides the electicutions and other stuff, I have had alot of bad nights but I still come back, because when you get those couple of songs that just ahhhhhhhh...groove, its all worth it. I had the flu two weeks ago, almost sh*t my pants on stage, that would have been fun. Another time I almost choked to death on a cough drop, went down to my knees and started changing colors as the band just looked at me with that " whats he doing now" look. One time in my youth, some women up from Canada dared me to take my clothes off and play, so I did. No big deal, untill a few years ago, now a little more mature and married, my wife and mother and family out in the audience, and all of the sudden, everyone is laughing there a**es off. I figure its all these women in matching T-shirts looking like some country line dance group they are laughing at, till I see whats on all the shirts, Yup, a younger Mr. P.. wearing only a guitar..uhhh....They all came up from Canada and thought it would be funny to put those pics on T-shirts.
    My life is one embarrasment after another..but I guess I kind of bring it on myself.

    Mr. Pitiful
  9. Dean_CustomJazz

    Dean_CustomJazz Guest

    Jan 23, 2002
    I played for a jazz band once, and the guitarist was repeatively told to get a longer cable. we're just startin the song, and we heard a loud "creak" then bam! I look over... he decided he could cut through more if he put his amp (roland chorus 2x12) on top of an un-used timpani. as he walked foward with his guitar plugged in, well... needless to say he amp was destoryed, followed by a huge power surge, and a broken timpani head, and wide spread laughter by the audience.

    then in the other band i'm in, frog skins, we were playing a local battle of the bands. we started playing, and into the middle of our third song, everything just cut out at once. I happened to catch a glimpse to the other side of the hall, and notcied somebodys PA on fire:eek: they had to kill all the power in the hall, and we didnt get to continue. (BTW, this band had no experince on how to use a PA, and I did ask them what happened. their response "I had everything on the PA up, nothing should have went wrong!")
  10. These stories are great!!!

    I’m missing out on all the fun.

    Oh - I guess I could share our drummer’s dealie… (Keep in mind, the guy’s a great drummer, very professional and we love him.)

    So our drummer is having an extremely bad toothache, can’t afford dental insurance at the time, and only wants to feel better. We’re at the gig Saturday night, his face is the look of pain. We play the 1st set ok. On break, a friend offers drummer a ‘potent painkiller’ and he proceeds to have a drink.

    Aobut ½ way thru the 2nd set, the friend with the drugs says “Dude, whatever you do, don’t drink after taking that stuff”. :eek:

    Too late.

    Third set, between songs, I look back toward the drum riser just in time to see our toothache ridden, but feelin-no-pain drummer… stand up, wobble, fall backwards kicking drums around, landing with his feet in the air and saying “God damnit I feel good!!!”

    My band mates look at me like WTFO? I think quick and tell the audience to “please stand by for a bit…” and tell the guys to give him a hand and I proceed to give phone numbers of other drummers to a bandwife who promptly tried to find a fill in.

    What a night. I wish I could get some of them painkillers, tho. ;)
  11. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    One time during setup, I was opening up some new speaker cables for our PA, just cutting the ties, and I cut my thumb in three places when my pocketknife slipped. Quite badly too, with blood spurting everywhere. Luckily the bartender had had some medical training and she patched me up well enough to be able to play, although there was blood all over the neck afterwards.

    I got hit on by a rather nasty lady and the guitarist threatened to beat me up ( :rolleyes: ) later in the evening before I finally got to the hospital to get stitches... at 3:30 am or so.

    The gig itself went well enough though!
  12. Side note - I used to cheat death; riding offroad motorcycles in dangerous places, riding fast streetbikes, and riding snowmobiles in avalanche country.:eek:

    You know, after reading these gig stories, I'm beginning to think that being a musician... amongst a bunch of electricity, booze and dumb-asses (including me)...is more dangerous than all that speed-freak crap.:confused:

    The best things in life are often dangerous.:cool:
  13. I was playing at a dive outside New Orleans near the airport... it was 1987 and I remember it like it was yesterday.
    This HUGE biker dude (Probably 7'4" or taller) was dancing with his 5' nothing "old lady"; both drunk as Mardi Gras. They continually stumbled into the monitors, hitting mic stands nearly knocking out my front teeth, knocking the drums around, and the bastard landed on my 2 week old guitar stand, twisting it into a pretzel. On the break, I went to him and asked him to pay for it and keep his clumzy ass off of the stage. He told me to basically go get f-ed. I was 5'11" and 230lbs, and needed my hands to play so I left him to his own devices. The bouncers were outside doing god-knows-what while all this was happening.
    The next set started and "Fred & Ginger" were right back out there, plowing through the crowd and getting as close to the stage as they possibly could. Half way through the second tune, the big boy starts stumble backwards toward the drum kit and just as his heels hit the stage, I kicked him with a 13E Justin Boot squarely between the cheeks with enough force to pick him up off of his feet and plant on the dance floor 3 feet in front of the stage. As I kicked him, the drummer stood up and with a pair of 2B's in one hand, struck him across the back of the cranium and broke both sticks. This would have left any sober man unconscious, but not this guy. He jumped up and charged the stage with his head first, at which point I remembered a Carl Perkins interview in Guitar Player Magazine about the sturdiness of a Fender as a weapon, and I promptly flipped my Jazz Bass over and smacked him squarely across the face with the back of the body. Blood flew in 5 directions as he knocked over the drums and toppled a Fender Twin Amp off of a chair. At this point, the 21 year old jr college football playing redneck son of the aging guitar player came to the rescue of Daddy's amp and grabbed the perpetrator by the hair and proceeded to drag him onto the dance floor. Just then, "The Old Lady" jumped on Jr.'s back and started to scratch his eyes out, at which point he shook her off and punched her between the eyes, knocking her out cold. At this point, the bouncers finally got there and dragged Mr.Harley outside and did a "Cajun Tapdance" on him until the Sheriff's Deputies arrived and closed the bar early at 4:30 am. The band didn't get paid, because we didn't play our last set. I quit the band the following day. :eek:
  14. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    Dude, nobody's gonna beat that one!
  15. OOOFFF - I have to follow this story??

    I've got to go with a similar story to Woodchuck's

    Early 80's - practised my butt off, got 1st chair for state orchestra (on DB). Day of concert - not feeling well. Must be nervous, because I have several solo passages.

    Concert begins, so do the spots/chills/shakes...

    here comes my first passage.......

    Why am i looking up at the ceiling? Apparently - i passed out - fell backwards (out of sight of the crowd)
    My hand has so tight on the bass - they couldn't pry it loose. So I came to - still holding it.

    Ahh memories:D
  16. *** is with people who think the stage is a place to dance / fall / trip / stumble / walk thru?

    Particularly the area already occupied by mic stands and wedge monitors?:confused:

    Crikey!!! They're drawn to this area like flies to shiiitee.

    I hate it.:mad:
  17. Word. People love to just act stupid near the stage. Even sober people. I hate that guy who jumps on stage starts jumping with his hands in the air like rocky and jumps back into the audience before the bouncers get him.
  18. My worst experience was back in 88...We had just gotten a great gig at a huge bar caled "The Speakeasy",this place was on the St.Louis Circut so ya know we thought hell we have made it being young and all.....Well anyways we had already played there 2 times and had a great time everybody loved us ...but our original singer quit before our next gig there. So we auditioned and auditioned and finally settled on a guy.. Well I wasnt really impressed but the guitar player thought he was gonna be fine...Not Me!!!! but here we go I knew we were in trouble when I showed up at the gig and, Now take in mind this was 1988 and it was the day of spandex(LOL) yea I know but I was in a hairband so that went with the territory.
    Well i tell this guy to go get some spandex pants and he shows up with FREAKIN PANTYHOSE:eek: :eek: So I just luckily had an extra pair so I saved him on that account.BUT he wasnt real familiar with the words so I told him to stash them up behind his monitor and he said "I Dont Need The Lyrics Damit" .....OK.... well he went up there and Freaked out on a song, he totally reversed and sang the Chorus where the verses was OMG :eek: The guitar player leaned over and told him lead so he would stop singin..BUT OH NO The Dumb Bastard Sang "Leeeaaaaadddd!!!! OMFG..Needless to say I was pissed and we kicked him out shortly after. Believe me I wanted to kick Him. I quit as well that just really burnt me so bad... God Was I embarrased
  19. James Hart

    James Hart

    Feb 1, 2002
    Endorsing Artist: see profile
    worst for me was a pig roast my friend was playing back in 1992. They where getting paid for 4 hours... my buddy's plan was to pay my new band for 1 of the hours. It was all my own stuff written for a 5 string bass strung in light Stainless Steel Rounds with a high 'B'. Lots of chords and slapping

    well... my active bass with fresh battery had no juice, no 9 volts to be found, the fresh one had just been pulled from my bag the practice before and I hadn't stopped for a new one :mad:

    I had to play an hour of chords and slapping on my buddy's Guild B301 UN-lined fretless strung with real heavy flats. I refused to do 2 of our tunes and we pulled out a 15 minute 'red house' to fill space, but I survived
  20. My worst was last week. Playing at a good well known original bar in St. Louis. We show up and found out that they couldn't serve acohol. Great start. So we are second and the sound man says "I don't have a bass mic I'll run it direct" to that I say "dude it doesn't work let's use a DI." Well of course he has his mind made up to use the direct out even though I am holding my DI. So he hooks it up. Does a quick line check, works fine. Mid second song, sound dude runs across the stage to me with a beat up smashed DI and yells your direct out quit. I shake my head and look back at him, he waits till the song is over. When I get to him he asks why I didn't tell him it didn't work. So now I am getting mad. Now he hooks up the smashed DI and nothing no sound, he yanks the cords out plugs me back in, nothing. I look down the amp (SVT 2PRO-vintage) has the fault light on- oh great. Off-on-off-on-off-on, nothing, turn it off unplug it turn it on still faulted. Mean while he keeps asking why it quit and the band is playing away. So luckily the last band had their amp still up there and I hooked it up and went with it. Now in the forth song i have sound, put a smile on my face hit the A string and it broke. First ever broken string on stage in eight years! Struggle trough that song, chucked the bass across stage, hitting a brand new bass drum belonging to the last band and grabbed my back up. Couldn't get it in tune when I finally did I was ready to quit forever. Bad night.