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Typical OT Inept-With-Girls Post

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Melf, Nov 20, 2003.


  1. Melf

    Melf

    Mar 20, 2003
    Starkville, MS
    I met this girl last week and I was attracted to her at first sight. I've been talking to her a little and she seems sweet, has a nice smile, and is interested in me from what I can tell. Tonight we went to a mutual friend's house and watched a movie. We sat next to each other and over the course of the movie I put my arm around her. At scary/gory portions she cringed and closed her eyes. Was I supposed to condole her? I didn't, I was too shy:oops: After the movie was over, we both left and I told her goodnight in the parking lot. Nothing else. She seemed aloof and dissatisfied. Did I botch things completely, or was she just being shy like I was and unsure of what to say?

    *Disclaimer-normally I'm a very shy, quiet person and I don't do well at all with girls. This is only the tenth one or so that I've had some success with (just one girlfriend, shhhh :ninja: ). Should I try and be more dominant/outgoing, even though it's directly opposite to my natural behavior? Also, she is shy.
     
  2. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    You gotta start wearing Abercrombie and Fitch
     
  3. Ty McNeely

    Ty McNeely

    Mar 27, 2000
    TX


    One suggestion that is much easier said and done until you realize the benefits--

    OPEN UP AND BE YOURSELF

    Who cares if it's a girl? Obviously don't brag about your flatulence capabilities in front of her, but just be open and have fun.

    I too used to be shy around girls until I realized that most girls simply don't like that stuff. Not saying they want you to be all over them, but they want attention--they want to know that they are appreciated and attractive, so you have to do something to show them that ESPECIALLY if they are shy.
     
  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Women have pretty accurate BS detectors, at least the ones worth being with do. If you start frontin, she will see through it and lose any respect she may have had for you.

    If you are really interested in her, don't give up after one night. Arrange another "date" with a group of mutual friends. That will allow you to relax a little, and be yourself.

    -Mike
     
  5. here's a question:

    Why try to be someone you're not? if you hope to have a lasting relationship with anyone, starting out pretending to be someone else doesn't make any sense. it's like lying to them. if she likes the person you're pretending to be, but not the person you are, the relationship won't be any good for you. eventually you'll have to be you, and then she'll know if she likes you.

    make it clear you're interested. putting your arm around her is a great start. if she allowed that, your foot's in the door.

    talk to her. that's the best way to find out if you'll really fit together.
     
  6. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    :D

    Anyone else miss P Mac?
     
  7. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    As McNeely said, be yourself, but try to save yourself some time by asking questions about what she thinks about things.

    It's better to realize that you do/don't have good reasons to stay together than to be hopeful that "magic" will somehow appear. The chemistry is there or it isn't.
     
  8. canopener

    canopener

    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    Make her laugh. A lot. If she seemed aloof she may have been doing it on purpose to get you to try harder, or just may not known how to respond either.
     
  9. Toasted

    Toasted

    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
    go for one of these next time:

    [​IMG]
     
  10. [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
    Treena
     
  11. Wurd
     
  12. Abandon all rational thought.
     
  13. (mostly) good advice so far (especially kaz, seriously), heres what i can add

    dont change yourself to please anyone

    learn to take chances, sure you'll make mistakes (and have failures), but you can never succeed if you never try ;)
     
  14. pineapple

    pineapple

    Oct 16, 2003
    lexington, ky
    dude, tips from a girl:

    dude, she let you put your arm around her. that's good.

    the no-action in the parking lot may have been nervousness or not knowing what to do. it's normal.

    be yourself, for your own good. sooner or later the pretense gets tired for YOU. pretending to be someone you aren't is a waste of time.
     
  15. RicPlaya

    RicPlaya

    Apr 22, 2003
    Whitmoretucky MI
    It's all good advise. You said one thing that stuck out is that you think she also has interest in you. You obviously noticed this and the fact that she is hanging out with you is awesome. This means you already won, she digs you! Women have a way of letting you know they like you in the most subtle ways you just have to pay attention. Dude your already there. Stop thinking about scoring (you know you are) all guys do. Concentrate on spending time with her and getting to know each other, hanging out and having fun. If that's all good all the other stuff will follow. Just hang in there she will let you know what to do next, you just need to pay attention.
     
  16. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    I know everything there is to know about women.
     
  17. hes obviously telling the truth, just look at his sig ;)


    :D
     
  18. ConTraBajisTa

    ConTraBajisTa Guest

    Oct 5, 2000
    auburn, ny
    why can't all guys be as enlightened as you. never have i been more serious than i am now.
     
  19. yeah, but then again, read his avatar...












    :ninja: :ninja:
     
  20. to expand upon my earlier post:

    dont be so worried about it. just do what seems right in the moment and let things happen on their own. dont overanalyze things she says or does, and be as sweet as possible to her. make her know you like her and dont be afraid to just tell her. make her feel wanted and hopefully she'll do the same back. dont be so scared of failure that you fail because you didnt try. umm, what else? oh yeah, HAVE FUN with the whole dating game. i assume youre a teen so just enjoy dating and stuff. never let it become more a hassle or burden than an enjoyment.

    oh yeah, good luck mate!