Unlocked iPhone Worthless After F.B.I. Spills Glass of Water on It

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Whousedtoplay, Mar 29, 2016.

  1. Whousedtoplay

    Whousedtoplay

    May 18, 2013
    TEXAS
    "WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after successfully unlocking the San Bernardino iPhone, the F.B.I. rendered the phone permanently useless by spilling a glass of water on it, an F.B.I. spokesman confirmed on Tuesday.
    Calling the accident “one of the biggest embarrassments in F.B.I. history,” bureau spokesman Harland Dorrinson told reporters, “There’s no way to express how bad we feel about what happened to that phone.”
    Read here:
    Unlocked iPhone Worthless After F.B.I. Spills Glass of Water on It - The New Yorker
     
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  2. There is no facepalm meme on the entire internet nearly powerful enough to express the facepalm-iness of this story.
     
    catcauphonic likes this.
  3. Matt O

    Matt O

    Feb 19, 2013
    The Mitten
    I won't ruin the fun...

    cough*Borowitzisacheapimitationoftheonion*cough
     
  4. There is no facepalm meme on the entire internet nearly powerful enough to express the facepalm-iness of my last post.
     
  5. And that's why I get mad when someone puts a drink on top of my amp.
     
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  6. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    The FBI cracked your amp? I didn't think that was possible.
     
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  7. geeza

    geeza

    Mar 15, 2009
    Earth, but just barely.
    I'm not wearing pants
    I call shenanigans!
     
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  8. You should have seen the stories it told.;)
     
  9. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
    OMG, yeah, I'm sure.
    That scares me. Maybe I should trade mine in before it is too late.
     
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  10. We're both doomed. LMAO
     
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  11. Biggbass

    Biggbass

    Dec 14, 2011
    Planet Earth
    Based on this news, if it was an FBI agent who came out of the bathroom at Louis' in The Godfather, intending to shoot Sollozzo & McCluskey, he would've had something other than his pistol in his hand.
     
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  12. the harp unstrung

    the harp unstrung Humankind: be both. Inactive

    Nov 2, 2014
    On The Bus
    N.A.
    My daughter turned me on to Andy Borowitz a few months ago. She called it her 'Thank's Da' gift for turning her on to The National Lampoon 25 yrs ago...
     
  13. 48thStreetCustom

    48thStreetCustom

    Nov 30, 2005
    Colorado
    Yeah, I'm calling bs.
     
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  14. No...there actually was a magazine called National Lampoon...
     
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  15. "In a possible thawing of relations between Apple and the F.B.I., Apple C.E.O. Tim Cook offered to replace the damaged iPhone for seven hundred and forty-nine dollars, or two hundred and ninety-nine dollars with a two-year contract."

    : D
     
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  16. the harp unstrung

    the harp unstrung Humankind: be both. Inactive

    Nov 2, 2014
    On The Bus
    N.A.
    image.jpeg The most famous...though not nearly the only incredibly funny and groundbreaking hunk of comedy/parody... from the magazine I grew up on.
    I bought the magazine, so the dog survived!
     
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  17. TOOL460002

    TOOL460002

    Nov 4, 2004
    Santa Cruz
    I think the bureau hacked my bass, because everything I play sounds sloppy and off time, and it's clearly not user error.

    On an entirely unrelated note, would a tin foil hat and vest interfere with my wireless signal? Or can they hack that too?
     
  18. ahc

    ahc

    Jul 31, 2009
    No. Virginia
    Ask Chuck McGill.

    better-call-saul-chuck.jpg
     
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  19. beaglesandbass

    beaglesandbass Think first, then post? Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Philly Suburbs
    What gave that away, was it the "This post is news satire from The Borowitz Report."? ;)
     
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