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WARNING: Darrin Huff Basses / Zeller Guitars

Discussion in 'Basses [BG]' started by Fuzzbass, Jun 16, 2006.

  1. You, sir, win the prize for the best post on the internet today. Congrats!

    You will be receiving a custom made wooded string winder. Eventually...

    TN WOODMAN and Duder like this.
  2. gwangi

    gwangi Supporting Member

    Jul 4, 2009
    Forbidden Valley
    He'll get that string winder in another 20 years!!!!
    TN WOODMAN and bound'n'blocked like this.
  3. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    I'll keep y'all updated.;)
    TN WOODMAN likes this.
  4. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY

    He will get strung along for 5 years with intermittent replies to messages detailing his excuse du jour.

    The following 5 years will consist of alternating periods of silence and proclamations of victimhood.

    Years 11+ will consist of various announcements detailing recovery plans, new alternate products to fund the previous failures and the launch of another company in tribute to his Grandfather (who is undoubtedly spinning in his grave at the gall of having his good name run through the muck due to this immoral and criminal behavior).

    What will never materialize are finished goods or apologies.
    jazzbo58, TN WOODMAN, Clark W and 6 others like this.
  5. Sid Fang

    Sid Fang Reformed Fusion Player Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    Outside-the-box solution of the day: TBers and others crowd source a "fan fiction" black comedy film/series about a shady, unstable luthier named, say, Darvin Haff and his hilarious attempts at avoiding delivering a product. Make it a hit on YouTube and send the ad proceeds to those whose money the real Darrin took.
  6. Novarocker


    Oct 12, 2015
    That's the most genius thing I've heard today. Sadly probably the closest thing to a resolution that any of us would see too.
    4sight, /\/\3phist0, DrMole and 2 others like this.
  7. Sid Fang

    Sid Fang Reformed Fusion Player Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    I keep looking for a working title. Wanted something that played with Breaking Bad / Better Call Saul vibes, but all those variants sounded lame. Best I have so far would be "2 Clever by Haff" (Assuming the use of the Darvin Haff character) which I actually think is kinda good. But we can have some fun brain-storming...
  8. BadJazz

    BadJazz Supporting Member

    Nov 29, 2007
    Eugene, Oregon
    Huffin' Glue!
    jazzbo58, Broke, Novarocker and 7 others like this.
  9. /\/\3phist0

    /\/\3phist0 Life: It's sexually transmitted and always fatal Supporting Member

    Daring Hoff, a new addition to the Mystery Men.
    He collects wood and money to save the world in the coming apoacalypse
    , He " missed it by thaaat much" ( in the voice of Don Adams, as Maxwell Smart) as to when the virus he released would ultimatly wipe out the population.
    His costume harkens back to a hero of his youth.
    David Hasslehoff.
    Novarocker and Garret Graves like this.
  10. Sid Fang

    Sid Fang Reformed Fusion Player Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    My cinematic flash for the project was a scene where we are in DH's shop, a couple of shots to establish the situation, then a first-person point-of-view shot as hands go to work on some early phase of bass construction, tracing a pencil line around a template onto a raw body plank, let's say. Slowly. Carefully. Ethereal music swells up. The first-person view gets blurry. Eyes lift from the work and look out the window. Short strange and absurdly funny fantasy sequence. Cut back to DH's hands where they've wandered and the pencil line has strayed way off track. DH blinks, shakes head, picks up template and starts erasing the errant pencil mark. Slowly. Carefully. Ethereal music swells up...
    4sight and EddiePlaysBass like this.
  11. Only pickups worthy of a Huff bass are SGDs.
    Kubicki Fan, Clark W, BadJazz and 2 others like this.
  12. Bassless Accusations?
    BadJazz, Novarocker, Clark W and 5 others like this.
  13. Just Bassless would probably work.

    "Scene cuts to the flashing bulbs of a thousand cameras, the photographers eager to capture DH's finest moment, the release of the finest handcrafted basses ever made. DH smiles indulgently, adjusting his Rolex and gold rings as he raises a hand in recognition of his success.... Cuts back to him standing alone in a shed, wearing a dirty t-shirt and surrounded by cuts of wood with vague pencil lines etched on to them. He sighs deeply, and decides to call it a day on the building. It is 11am, after all."
    BadJazz, Novarocker, JeroB666 and 6 others like this.
  14. Sid Fang

    Sid Fang Reformed Fusion Player Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    “Bassless” is excellent! And, yeah, you’re getting the vibe. Somewhere between The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and The Disaster Artist. It won’t be hard to find volunteers to work on the soundtrack around here, but would we do one that was entirely done with bass guitars and uprights?
    Novarocker, 4sight and Xad like this.
  15. Dluxe


    Jan 9, 2011
    Austin, TX
    May 15th is coming up soon. Maybe he meant "this" year. ;)
  16. gwangi

    gwangi Supporting Member

    Jul 4, 2009
    Forbidden Valley
    What's going on May 15th, oh it must be the string winders will be done!!!!
    Clark W and EddiePlaysBass like this.
  17. Dluxe


    Jan 9, 2011
    Austin, TX
    Back in January 2019 he was telling one of the wait listers that their bass would be done by May 15, 2019.
  18. gwangi

    gwangi Supporting Member

    Jul 4, 2009
    Forbidden Valley
    I kind of gathered that, I thought I'd throw in a little sarcasm.
    Dluxe likes this.
  19. Sid Fang

    Sid Fang Reformed Fusion Player Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    Groundhuff Day.
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2020
    Snaxster, wraub, Novarocker and 7 others like this.
  20. wraub


    Apr 9, 2004
    ennui, az
    previated devert
    Opening, day.

    Interior, suburban garage with a small worktable and many lights. There is also some lumber and hand tools. On the worktable there is a piece of wood with a guitar body outline drawn on it. A clock shows the time as 11:20 am.

    Darvin Haff: Another day of lutherie for loot for me... Let's get this started.

    A montage then follows of Haff measuring, drawing, arranging and re-arranging wood and tools on the worktable, scattering sawdust about, and taking many pics. A clock shows the time as 12:38 pm.

    Haff: Phewh...that's a lot of work... Let's get this finished.

    Interior, suburban living room.

    A montage then follows of Haff loading pics on to a computer, editing and sorting them, and posting them to various websites, displayed on the computer screen with taglines saying "Newest creation!" and "Big things ongoing..." A clock shows the time as 3:15 pm.

    Haff: Wow...another full day... Let's get some rest.

    A montage then follows of Haff eating, resting, drinking beer, and watching some TV, all while checking various websites for comments to edit and orders to take. Then Haff lies down on a sofa and falls asleep. A clock shows the time as 7:43 pm.

    Call it, "Haff Done". ;)
    jazzbo58, JeroB666, Sid Fang and 8 others like this.

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