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Wedding Band - Guests Policy

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by jaywa, Apr 19, 2009.

  1. jaywa


    May 5, 2008
    Iowa City, IA
    Would be interested in hearing from wedding band veterans on this question:

    When you are hired to do a wedding, is the assumption that it is a "closed gig" except for band members and any other supporting personnel (tech, etc.). In other words, it is inappropriate for band members to bring or invite significant others, friends etc. and it is also bad form to have other people "sit in".

    It seems to me like this is only common sense and a courtesy to the client... but I have heard of a couple of incidents lately where followers of the band who had nothing to do with the wedding, showed up at the dance and it caused problems.
  2. excane

    excane Banned

    Aug 23, 2005
    New York, NY
    You are correct, it is completely inappropriate to invite anyone else. It is a closed function, not an open concert or show for uninvited people to show up.
  3. Gasman

    Gasman Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2007
    South Carolina
    Are you serious? Do you really need to ask this?
  4. CapnSev


    Aug 19, 2006
    Coeur d'Alene
    Yes. That is bad form on all accounts. You might as well just add a giant tip jar as well.
  5. jaywa


    May 5, 2008
    Iowa City, IA
    It struck me as very bush-league but never having been in a band that did a lot of weddings before I wanted to be sure. Thankfully, it was not my band.

    This same band also left their gear for weeks at the banquet hall after the gig.

    I guess I know why so many wedding gigs are being lost to DJs. :rollno:
  6. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    Extremely bad form. In past bands I've played in that have done wedding dances and other private parties, on our schedule page for that date, all we have listed is "Private Event", with no hint as to where it's at or what it is.

    Wives, girlfriends, etc, have never been allowed to come with to these gigs.
  7. jaywa


    May 5, 2008
    Iowa City, IA
    That's what most of the bands around here do too. So people know the date is booked, but that's it.
  8. jesso


    May 30, 2008
    Very bad form to invite people....
    However. We often have other couples who are interested in seeing us play coming along to weddings.
    They are usually very careful to remain in the background and be very discreet. Its not ideal, but some people actually insist on seeing us at a wedding, even if theyve already seen us in a bar!
    We play at least one wedding every weekend.
  9. dbassman59


    Dec 19, 2008
    Vancouver, BC
    I'd say closed event ..
  10. gjbassist

    gjbassist Supporting Member

    Sep 7, 2005
    Kansas City, MO
    As a wedding photographer for 20 years I would say for sure that it is a closed event. Only those directly involved in the band should attend. The only exception would be if the bride told you it was ok to bring a spouse/girlfriend. I have seen several DJs and a few band members who brought a spouse to help carry equipment. But overall it is not a public event!
  11. no guests. not even potential clients.
  12. jarrod cunningham

    jarrod cunningham

    Apr 24, 2007
    sylacauga alabama
    spector basses
    band members only ......
  13. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Cali Intergalactic Mind Space - always on the edge
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    If the band does bring a roadie/sound person as part of their regular crew, they need to dress up as well or sit outside of the event if not doing the sound. They don't eat the food or do anything to participate in the event. If food/drink is provided to the band by the couple, that's different, they should be included in that. Always in the background. Don't speak unless spoken to...that kinda stuff.
  14. bigfatbass

    bigfatbass Banned

    Jun 30, 2003
    Upstate NY
    Endorsing Artist: Karl Hoyt Basses
    A couple that insists on seeing us play someone else's wedding first would not be hiring my band. Ever. Nothing screams dog wedding/day in hell more than a couple that fussy. Screw them, let them get a DJ.

    On topic, it is ALWAYS a closed event, necessary band personal ONLY. To do other wise is at best unprofessional, and at worst flat out rude.
  15. justabass


    Nov 7, 2006
    Nashville TN/Old Hickory TN
    Endorsing-Trace Elliot,Peavey Basses,PedalTrain,Starkey inears
  16. nsmar4211


    Nov 11, 2007
    "Private Event" works great on public calendars :)
  17. How can a band leave their stuff somewhere for weeks. Didn't they have any other gigs or general concern about their $1000's worth of stuff, ....anything. It's like the old joke:

    A polka band finishes playing at an Oktoberfest and the owner comes up just raving about how good they were. He then asks if they would be willing to come back next year to which they reply "Great, can we leave our stuff here then."

    And yes, I am a horrible joke teller.:p

    Also, I love polka bands, please all you polka players out there please don't flame me:bag:
  18. Closed event unless otherwise SPECIFICALLY stated. We have done several weddings where the bride has stated that our spouses were welcome to come...but none of us brought them.
  19. Phil Smith

    Phil Smith Mr Sumisu 2 U

    May 30, 2000
    Peoples Republic of Brooklyn
    Creator of: iGigBook for Android/iOS

    Do you bring friends, guests, etc to your job? The answer is probably no, this is also a job.
  20. ga_edwards


    Sep 8, 2000
    UK, Essex
    The above advice goes for nearly all functions, parties, weddings etc. If it's a closed and private event, no band guests. It's not your event, you're just hired to play some music.

    I would also take this as far as keeping out of the way when you're not playing (and whilst you're at it, keep quiet. Some 'green room's are very close to the main room, and loud, sweary laughing carries.). If you're invited to sit and eat with guests then fine, but most of the time, if you do get fed and watered it will be away from the main room where the event is happening.

    As always, be polite, courteous, and helpful. Tame down any stage antics you use on the club circuit (unless of course it's a major part of your act and the reason you've been hired). Yes people want to be entertained, but they also want to dance and sing along. If you can fill the floor within 2 songs, you've got it right.

    And remember, you're not the main focus, the bride is!

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