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Wedding scoreboard

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by bigfatbass, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. bigfatbass

    bigfatbass Banned

    Jun 30, 2003
    Upstate NY
    Endorsing Artist: Karl Hoyt Basses
    A question for those of us here who play more than the occasional wedding (let's say 6-10 a year), but aren't wedding band types. Full time wedding/show band players have done too many events to be expected to remember or keep track of all of them, so I'm directing this at the ones who have a more manageable list. Of the couples you have knowledge of, how are they doing? Still married? Happy/kids etc.?

    My band has a pretty good scoreboard. To the best of our knowledge with a pool of about 80 or so over the years, we only have a small handful of divorces, actually in the single digits. This completely defies the national average. I know a lot of these couples have a lot of life left in them, and some splits happen quite late in life, but I'm happy to say that so far we seem to be lucky in this respect.

    One thing that came up while we were talking about it was that the more frufru/pricey the wedding, the less happy the couple. There are of course exceptions, but we all noticed that of our 8 known divorces, they were all really uptight and very expensive parties. Cheezball canned first dance tunes they made us play off their iPods (we even have a large repertoire of soul/R&B ballads), full wedding party intros, all the parent dances, full plated dinners (a logistical nightmare for even the best caterers when you get to over 200+ people), cake cutting, chair dances, dollar dances, line dances, garter throwing, bouquet throwing, 45 minutes of toasts from their frat/sorority buddies, full formal attire, and in a venue that will put you out $20k just to get them to unlock the doors. The couple would never look happy all day, no one had a chance to chat/socialize because every 5 minutes they grind the party to a halt to perform the next ritual. We've made thousands of dollars to play for maybe 2 hours, sometimes even shorter.

    Don't get me wrong, all of those things can be fun and heartfelt, I just mean when they try to do it ALL, and run the day like the proverbial bridezillas, that these tended to be the couples that ended up in splitsville. Sometimes this stiff 'tude can come from venue people, event planners, caterers, and all kinds of other people who are not in the wedding party. We do our best to ignore these people unless it is a catering timeline issue (it's hot and ready when it is hot and ready). We take all our leads from the bride and groom unless they have told us to take our cues from someone else.

    On the other side, the more relaxed the newlyweds, the more they are able to delegate, and the less fuss they demanded of their hospitality/entertainment/guests, the better time everyone had, and the happier the wedding couple seemed to be over the long haul.

    Anyone else notice this correlation?

    Don't know if they are still married, but I once was a hired gun for a rehearsal dinner party where the wedding reception made all the NY State newspapers the next day. A freak storm blew their whole deal into Skaneateles Lake. The wedding day itself was reported to have cost close to a million, and it never even happened! Think about that. One million dollars, in ONE day, all to make little Broomhilda feel like a princess, and the 50 piece swing orchestra you hired refuses (rightfully) to drive into the maelstrom from NYC, and (dickishly) demands full payment. Ouch.
  2. friskinator

    friskinator Supporting Member

    Apr 5, 2007
    Montreal, QC
    I played a wedding a few years ago where the couple requested a Nickelback song for their first dance. We begrudgingly obliged. If they're still together, I'd be shocked.

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