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What’s the right thing to do ? ( long winded rant )

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by chuck65, Aug 13, 2019.

  1. chuck65

    chuck65 Supporting Member

    Jun 6, 2010
    Orange Park FL.
    Thank you for your patience , consideration, and opinions ....
    After raising my kids , I finally had the time to pick up my Bass again. Spent almost a year in my room getting my chops back and gaining enough confidence to answer one of those CL ads .
    Learned real quick that my background in harder rock ( ozzy , maiden , rush , Metallica etc ) was not really marketable in my area . Joined a “ band “ who was in between Vox and needed a Bass player .
    Welcome to the world of classic rock , southern rock , and country. I put in the time to learn the material ( which they have been playing for years) sucked it up and became a team player.
    After at least four vox tryouts in the past seven months a good one finally arrives AND brings a helluva good rhythm ax man with him.
    We play the ten or so songs that we all had in common and it was good . We pick six new songs for “ next week “ three of ours and three of theirs.
    Myself being new to classic rock was lost like a ball in a hay field ,but I put in the time and effort and did my job and learned them .
    The drummer said that he just used a book as a drum pad ( instead of setting up his kit ) and You tubed it and figured he could manage..... He could not.
    The lead ax man was offered one on one time with the rhythm man but didn’t show and didn’t put any time into the songs either, and it showed .
    Me ? I just stayed in the back , played my part and kept my mouth shut. After a miserable session, we were packing gear and the vox and rhythm man pull me to the side and expressed their feeling about the blatant lack of preparation on the other two guys over the last seven days .
    This is kind of a big deal because the vox has made arrangements with a lady who owns a local venue to let us set up and use her stage on the day she is closed . It is out of the kindness of her heart that she comes out on her day off and opens up to us and stays there for three hours while we rehearse.
    Anyway, the vox and rhythm man tell me that they have a lead ax and drummer willing to play with them and after tonight , they aren’t too sure if they will stick around with the current drummer and lead. They want me to come with them if they decide to reform with the new members.
    What is considered the “ right “ thing to do ? Do I continue to dance with the one that brung me , or is it time to find a new dance partner? This post is already too long so , thank you again for letting me vent and rant about my first group experience since 1998 . It’s good to be back !! :)
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2019
    Oddly, mikewalker, jub and 4 others like this.
  2. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    As of this moment, the guys you play with aren’t a band.

    Go join a band with the singer and rhythm guy.
  3. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    i'll bet! :thumbsup:

    i'd go with the flow that presented more opportunity to me. but i'd do it as an 'independent' = inform the original cats of your intentions and keep your 'freedom-to-move' alive and well with the new cats...you get to do what you want to do, but it would be great(er) if you did it in a way which produces the most respect as you do it, i.e., with no drama! be matter-of-fact and honest = it will take care of itself!

    good luck with your playing! :thumbsup:
    Nevada Pete, design, BOOG and 5 others like this.
  4. Just keep playing with both groups if you have the time. I have learned that playing with multiple groups can really progress your playing quickly. One of them, probably the unprepared group, will probably fizzle out anyway.

    If you can’t swing both, play with the people that make you happy and are worth your time. To me, this usually means other people that work hard and appreciate the hard work that I put in to learning material.

    I think you know what to do. Best of luck and welcome back to the bass world
  5. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather Supporting Member

    This. And let the other folks know why you're leaving. Lack of preparation and production annoys the hell outta me! It's a waste of time that I can't afford to waste. Life is too short.
  6. Scottgun


    Jan 24, 2004
    South Carolina
    Life's too short to stick with team in which some aren't pulling their weight. Get out and find some people that will. Try to make it a clean and amicable break if you can, but don't get guilt-tripped into half-measures.
  7. chuck65

    chuck65 Supporting Member

    Jun 6, 2010
    Orange Park FL.
    Thanks guys :)
    All really useful advice and well received. We meet again in two weeks , I will keep a wait and see approach to this and in the mean time .... practice , practice, practice !!
    Nevada Pete, pcake and oldrocker like this.
  8. Dirk Diggler

    Dirk Diggler Supporting Member

    Mar 3, 2004
    Anytown USA
    Ever heard of a paragraph?

    Sorry I couldn't resist, good luck on your decision.
    Chrisk-K and chuck65 like this.
  9. mrcbass


    Jan 14, 2016
    Sacramento, CA
    I get it: it feels like you're being tempted to "cheat" on your band. Team players like yourself (and me) find it hard to do what's right for themselves sometimes - you're potentially letting others down. I'm slowly becoming more aware of what I need and am taking steps to find that. In the hobby band world, a lot of people are just mercenaries looking for the right situation, even if it's temporary - it's just the reality of our "business".

    What you should do is going to be up to you - none of us can really judge your circumstances. It sounds like you want to move along (thus the reason for your post), but obviously something is making you second guess your gut.

    Here's how I try to approach these situations:
    1. First - I will always at least explore an opportunity where I am invited to join by quality musicians. Even if I don't necessarily intend to join, I'm at least getting my face in front of new people and get a little networking in. I find that, in general, people think I'm pretty good (at least that's what they tell me ;)), so the more exposure to people I can get, the more the opportunities will present themselves.
    2. How busy am I? Do I honestly have room in my life to add another project? If yes, I'll go and explore other opportunities guilt free - and see how it feels. I believe there are lot of members here who are in multiple projects. For me, two part time gigging bands is possible and desirable. (If I do this, both bands know I'm in another band - just for purposes of avoiding double booking - first come, first served.)
    3. If I don't have time for another project, I do some soul searching to determine how I really feel about my current band. If I've been with them for more than a couple of months it's hard - I naturally gravitate towards becoming friendly with bandmates, sometime to the point of doing non band social things with some of them. Is it checking enough of the three boxes (hang/money/music) for me to remain interested? If yes, I probably still go explore the offer for reasons included in #1. If no, I go with hopes of staying on and then give my notice to the old band, hopefully after I've had a few weeks to work with the new band and they are actually selling you the truth. I'll honor any gig commitments with the old band and try to give them as much support in finding a new bassist as is reasonable - if they are gigging. If their not gigging, my exit window is much smaller.

    Yes, it is scary to move away from the known and jump into a new band. A few months down the road you may feel it was a mistake, but all you can do is honestly evaluate the situation and make your best call. Just don't burn any bridges in the process - old band or new. Be professional about your choices and the way you communicate it to your band mates. I've offered to be available to sub for previous bands if they need me.
    chuck65 likes this.
  10. chuck65

    chuck65 Supporting Member

    Jun 6, 2010
    Orange Park FL.
    LOL ! I thought rant was the word for “ be prepared for run on sentences and no punctuation:)
  11. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2017
    Is this the first time they've been asked to learn new material since you joined them? I ask because a lot of those southern/classic/country bands are composed of people who learned three sets of popular songs many years ago and stick to the same playlist because they really don't want to learn anything new. It can come as a rude shock to find out that some of these people really don't learn quickly at all or that they resist change because they can't be bothered to do any work.

    I would definitely consider exploring something new with the two new players. It sounds like they are at least interested in preparing a quality show.
    SmokinJoe992, chuck65 and ELG60 like this.
  12. The vox that can finagle a free practice stage is probably going to have gigs lined up too. I would jump on that ship.
  13. bolophonic


    Dec 10, 2009
    Durham, NC
    Brother, how are you going to feel if the vocalist and rhythm guitarist go ahead and form a good band and you choose to splash around in the shallow end with the dudes who don’t put in the critical prep work for a big rehearsal?
  14. chuck65

    chuck65 Supporting Member

    Jun 6, 2010
    Orange Park FL.
    BINGO !!!
    They try to steer any new vox to the stuff they know already which is about forty songs from their past band .
    When new stuff is brought to the table , it’s only well received if it “ stays in the pocket “ or doesn’t have many rolls or breaks . The lead ax would do fine if he just put in the homework.
    LBS-bass and TheReceder like this.
  15. bherman

    bherman Supporting Member

    Apr 30, 2009
    Grand Junction, CO
    According to your original post, you've been looking for seven months for a singer. So in my book its not yet a band. I would jump ship and move to the newly forming band. It's evident that they are willing to do the work and show up prepared.

    Only consideration that I would give is due process, depending on your relationship with current guitar player and drummer. If you care about them and think that they have potential, have a "come to Jesus" talk with them and tell them that you are not going to continue unless they are willing to do the work. If they balk, you've at least given them your reasons.

    Perhaps get together with the other potential band (with the lead player and drummer) and see how it goes. Maybe the same 6 songs? If they are solid players who know what to do, you'll know right away if its a good fit. You also need to find out if their intention is to play the same genre (southern rock, etc) or if they were just responding to the first band's ad. Maybe the music will be better suited to your preferences??
    pcake and chuck65 like this.
  16. arbiterusa


    Sep 24, 2015
    San Diego, CA
    Your current situation is nowheresville and is going to stay that way. And you may be fine with that.

    These new guys have practice space and will probably have gigs in short order. Are you up for the challenge of playing with good band mates? I’d be calling the new guys already and getting a practice set up.
    Nevada Pete and chuck65 like this.
  17. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    They've been looking for a singer for seven months and blow their golden opportunity by not prepping for the next rehearsal. What a bunch of schmucks!. Good singers are not gonna deal with a band that doesn't have it's act together, so it could be another year before they find someone. Time to move on to what sounds like a much better opportunity. Don't burn bridges, but just tell the current band to call when they have a singer locked in. That may be never.
  18. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
    I think learning 6 songs in a week for a new band is too aggressive. I would cut it back to 2 or maybe 3 and see if that helps. If not, either move on or replace the people who are not meeting expectations.
    chuck65 likes this.
  19. tradernick

    tradernick Supporting Member

    Mar 19, 2008
    You've seen some obvious red flags. You're not going to be able to change the lead axe and the drummer into people who know how to act responsibly.

    Go with the new situation, 100%.
    Yellow Bang66 and chuck65 like this.
  20. Yes, yes, yes, yes!!!
    chuck65 likes this.

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