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what a shock...i screwed up my best friendship!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by FLOYDtheBARBER, May 3, 2003.

  1. my best friend (the girl i'm in love with...i've spoken about her before) has been trying to help me for some while. she was really upset when she found out about my problem (masichism) and has been helping me... she made me promise to always me honest when she asks if i've cut. i'd been doing really well, but i kinda had a breakdown this week, and i told her what i did to myself. and now she says this in her livejournal:
    while i'm really upset that it seems like she's giving up on me, i really can't blame her. i screwed everything up again. just like always.
  2. Actions speak louder than words.

    I'd get help dude...

    Hope everything works out.
  3. Fuzzbass

    Fuzzbass P5 with overdrive Gold Supporting Member

    Yep. If you aren't already getting professional help, please do so immediately. Good luck to you.
  4. And, if you really love her, for her as well. That wasn't a healthy sounding post she had there.

    And good luck. Everyone can use a little good luck now and then.

    Rock on

    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Supporting Member


    Please PM ,i have done alot of counseling work with the church let me see if i can help you. Stay safe
  6. she's currently doing therapy with someone. and i do love her... i do. i just don't know anything right now; nothing is clear.
  7. Prime Mover

    Prime Mover

    Feb 16, 2003
    TN, USA
    Take a step back, seek some help, and clear your mind of all the garbage that is in there. Maybe you two need a break from eachother so each of you can clean out your own closets. When that is done, then you come back together and share your thoughts to eachother. Or maybe I am just talking out of my @ss, but seek help. Professional help, and take up Major Metals invitation. It will be free, and hell, he maybe able to help you out.
  8. i think that's what's gonna happen; i'll be spending some time apart from her, as she won't look at me right now. i just don't want to hurt her; i should just keep out of her life and let her be happy. she's better without dealing with me. ****.
    major metal...you's got a PM.
  9. I don't think she wants you out of her life. I think she's severely hurt by what you did and feels betrayed. I think what she wants to feel is that you care about her enough to keep a promise, no matter how difficult. I think she still wants to feel that way. Getting out of her life won't really solve anything, it will just make her feel even more powerless.

    Like I said, actions speak louder than words. But I think you have a lot of soul searching to do, my friend.

  10. thanks. i'm working on it.
  11. sigterm

    sigterm ;) ;) ;), love y'all Supporting Member

    Feb 5, 2003
    Atlanta G of A
    i dont get it

    are you self mutilating or a masochist which are two *very* different things. im no therapist, and i dont normally express the popular opinion, but i see no problem here. if its the girl you love but youre not together, then why is that so? the way you worded it she found out about the self mutilation/masochism after you became friends. i'd ask myself why you do what you do, what it does for you, and why it does that for you. write it down, then read it again in a week and see how the words make you feel. what you're doing is nothing new, read into it from as many angles as you can find. theres alot of history in self-mutilation that you might find useful. with any problem in life, education education education. you will never solve an unknown without some sort of starting point.
  12. I don't understand this at all. She said that you must be honest. You told her what you did. Seems pretty honest to me.
  13. yes... but she has said other things too. she's told me that while she loves me, she hates what i've become. a self-loathing, downtrodden loser who whines about his situation but is too apathetic to do anything except whine and bring down his loved one (she didn't give that description...that's my own.)

    way_of_opiatism: you have a PM.
  14. Your whining about your situation right now.

    You need to see a Medical Doctor about some medication.

    Biological/Chemical imbalances can really make you feel lousy.

    It's like whining about headaches, and taking nothing for the pain.

    The best thing you can do is to seek treatment.
    That will show those around you that you are proactive in being a better person.
  15. I concur, most of life's problems can be solved without the need for medication. Most of it is positive state of mind, as well as being active and eating healthy.

    Sometimes medication is necessary, but many more times people see it as the easy way out.
  16. my diet is not heathy at all, and my lifestyle is FAR from active. i probably won't wind up getting professional help. unless it gets worse. but as of now, i'm doing some "soul-searching" (as bigwig will suggested) and trying to clear my head. hopefully it all turns out for the best.
    "one day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you AS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL."
    -sigmund freud
  17. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Philly Suburbs
  18. Desdenova


    Feb 18, 2003
    Hampton, VA
    No offense, but that's a really bad analogy. Masochism is mostly psychological, and headaches are usually biological. Headaches can be placebic or related to something else, but I'd say at least 98% of headaches aren't, well, in your head. I do agree that he should see some kind of doctor, but hold off on persciription drugs.
  19. I understand hat youre going through, I used to cut myself as well. You know there is a reason why you do it, more often then not its severe depression. Look at what causes you to cut yourself, and when you deal with that, cutting yoursdelf wont seem like an "out" anymore.

    Good luck with everything, I know its not easy
  20. Just ask yourself why.

    Why are you hurting the girl you love? Think about it, hard. Long and hard. Very possible opinion and answer.

    Floyd, Im for ya too if youw ant to drop me a line. I know it ain't easy. But, its time you get a MAJOR kick in the ass. Get up early, and start eating healthy.

    Go for a nice big long run whenever you feel your going to do something stupid. Run so fast and hard, you'll have to crawl home.
    Wake up man. Get a clue, time to stop wasting your life! Your girl won't be there forever waiting for you to come out of this.

    Im not tryign to put you down. This is what many people told me, and I told myself. so far not bad.

    g'luck bro, we're here for ya!

    rock on :bassist:

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