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What a week....(need to vent)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Justin V, Dec 7, 2003.

  1. Justin V

    Justin V

    Dec 27, 2000
    Alameda, CA
    Ok. I just finished what is officially the strangest week I've ever been through. If this post becomes long, I'm sorry.

    It all started on Sunday night when I got back to HSU from Thanksgiving break. I was feeling quite irritable because of a speeding ticket that I got on the way up. While I was on my way out to the car, I ran into a friend whom we'll call "Jane". I'd had a thing for "Jane" for a few weeks and we'd become pretty good friends during said time. We started talking and she helped me haul my stuff in. Then we went over to her dorm room and talked for a few hours. I was quite tired at around midnight so she invited me to crash in her roommate's bed. As we were going to bed, I finally developed the spine that I always seem to lack and kissed her, since I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to put into words how I felt about her. She kissed back and we spent the night together (not that way, just laying next to each other talking and kissing). We pretty much spent the next few days together almost constantly. The guys in my dorm made note of how they'd barely seen me since we got back. It was four of the best days of my short life. Everything just felt perfect (I can't really explain it any other way).

    We talked about what we wanted to be together Tuesday night. We both wanted to be serious, but she was nervous about getting hurt (she's had a couple of rough ones this semester). I made a point in my mind that night to NOT under any circumstances hurt her. Everything seemed to be going great until Thursday night.

    I came over at around 11 and we hung out for about an hour or so. Something felt odd, I'm still not sure what it was. Then one of her other roommates came in and said something about one of them not being back from some party or something. "Jane" said that she was worried about her roommate and asked me if I wouldn't horribly mind sleeping in my own dorm that night. I told her it was OK, and I slept alone in my own bed for the first time since getting back that night. I woke up randomly early Friday morning and could almost feel her next to me, even though I knew she wasn't there.

    I tried to see her yesterday, but she was either in town or at a party with some of her friends. I didn't mind, but something in her voice told me something was wrong.

    Then, tonight at around 7:15, I called her and she said that we needed to talk (insert bad feeling in gut right around here). She said that she wasn't ready for what we were seemingly becoming, but she still wanted to be friends. We walked around together and talked about it for about half an hour, hugged, and then I watched her walk away.

    I went up to my room, grabbed my fretless, hopped in the car and drove around letting emotion out. I wanted to go to a beach and just yell at the ocean, but I couldn't find one that was empty or open and I was low on gas. So I drove back to my dorm, played the hell out of my bass for about fifteen minutes in the fire escape, and came into my room to find that the internet is FINALLY back up (it's been down for three days straight).

    I don't know why it hurts so much. We were only together for less than a week. I feel like I've lost the perfect girl for me. It just felt so perfect this week. Nothing could get me down for long. Everything was just...perfect.

    Now that's over and I don't know what I'm gonna do.....

    Sorry about the long post, I just needed to vent a bit. If you read the whole thing, thanks for listening.
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    I read it all.

    I have felt like that before. I found relief in playing my bass as well. Maybe she will change her mind in a few days.

  3. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Moral of the story? Hit it while the option is open.

    Seriously, give her her space, and don't let her know you are wigged about it. Just go about it like you couldn't care less, and she will come back.
  4. Joe Turski

    Joe Turski

    Jul 29, 2003
    Women are strange sometimes. Relax, don't rush anything. If she really likes you, she'll come around. Don't become a stalker or try to force you two being together. You said that she had some troubles with other men earlier this semester. Maybe she is being very cautious and is trying to feel out the waters with you.

    Maybe she has some personal "Issues" that she is not ready to share with you?

    Tim had it right, you should of hit it! :eek:
  5. Justin V

    Justin V

    Dec 27, 2000
    Alameda, CA
    Thanks for the responses guys. I really appreciate it. I've been feeling progressively better about this as the night's gone on (thanks to buddies, bass, and some good blues in the ole iTunes).

    The strange thing about the hit it comments is that we probably would have if she wasn't a virgin. Strange situation for me being the more experienced of the two in that particular aspect.
  6. Joe Turski

    Joe Turski

    Jul 29, 2003

    A virgin huh....run away, very fast!!

    If you end up taking a girls virginity, they are very hard to get rid of.
    If you feed a stray cat, they keep coming around.
  7. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    I don't know man, I have experience with two, and it is a split decision. The first couldn't wait to try on other teammates, but the other went pretty nuts, like you stated.

    Seriously man, your best bet is to just let her have her space, and she will most likely come back to you. Women (and most people in general) don't like to feel like they are depended on, when it comes to situations like this.

    And my friend.....hit it.
  8. If this was the worst week in your life so far, please, for your own sake, BE PREPARED FOR MUCH MORE!

  9. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Its called an infatuation, J5. It happens.
  10. Justin V

    Justin V

    Dec 27, 2000
    Alameda, CA
    I didn't say it was the worst. I just meant that it's been rather crazy.

    And Mike, it's a V, not a 5. It's my last initial. Just felt like clarifying. Thanks guys.
  11. hyperlitem

    hyperlitem Guest

    Jul 25, 2001
    Indianapolis, IN
    i cant feel that bad for you because you can drive to the ocean in anything less than 24 hours for me. No just kidding sucks man, im in college too. Its 75% girls here though if one doesnt go right just pick another one, hey its college. I hate people who get real involved with one person, your not married. Your a musician, sleep around:D

    ps im an inconsiderate a$$hole, take what i say with a grain of salt
  12. The sooner you learn girls are fickle, the better off you'll be.

    I was in an extremely similar situation this past summer.....but you give it time and move on.
  13. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Well, it looks like you're gonna be "grabbing your fretless" a little more often.

    Sorry, I couldn't resist. It's not you, it's me. Been there too."
  14. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Oh, I know... J5 just sounds so cool.
  15. Life is full of surprises and little ups and downs. If I was you I'd file this under experience.

    However, I wouldn't go writing off a potential long term relationship with this girl just yet....

    Good luck!
  16. Anyone who's been with a virgin know this....."And now, for the talent portion of my show!"

    Seriously though, I was where you are now about a month ago. And I can tell you, based on my experience, that if you don't force anything on her, and just carry on like you don't really care, she'll eventually come around....
  17. [paraphrasing here]

    that you talked for hours and hours and then lay down together [but not that way]...


    that's the automatic red flag that a chick is confused, either about her own feelings, or her feelings toward you.

    the bad news: she could be stressing the past experiences she's had on campus [which she really should just blow off -- they are past!], and is not ready to commit at all, on any level.

    the good news: i did the same exact thing to my boyfriend, whom i've now been with for eight years.

    our first date [after silently cooing and admiring one another for 4 years prior], we went for a beer, talked a bit, played some pool, then sat on the beach until 4 in the morning, talking some more. i asked him back to my place, pulled out the sofa bed, went upstairs...

    then came downstairs to join him. ;)

    actually, nothing happened, and i didn't want it to. there was something eternally perfect and sweet about the moment, and the thought of turning it all into a paris hilton suckfest just disturbed me. it felt almost sacriligious.

    i made vic wait a long time, for "that" and to be my soulmate, coz i had my own headtrips [eg; broken marriage] to deal with.

    i know the big reason why he is my soulmate to this day is because he respected my situation, gave me my space, and treated me with kindness and compassion. he was patient and tender, and i really needed that, and that's why the past 8 years have ruled, even with the many challenges we've endured.

    so don't consider your experience a waste. it may actually blossom into something really great. just don't let her blow you off indefinitely. let her know how you feel, maybe a little of what you hope for, and ask her what she wants and needs.

    a little communication goes a long, long way.


    p.s. a lot of chicks/women/girls have conflicting feelings about their womanhood/sexuality, coz we get mixed messages about it. on the one hand, we want to give it up, on the other, guys go to all kinds of crazy lengths to get it, and don't always act honorably when they do. our trepidation to go to the next level [whether sex or relationship intimacy] is often a result of a guy taking [sexual]advantage of us in a way that makes us feel dehumanized. i don't think that's really the case with guys, who will usually be game for most sex, with most chicks, excluding those of the truly skank persuasion [and even that isn't a big deterrent for some dudes!]
  18. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    for once, i agree with you.

    Feel honoured.

  19. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    I'm sorry, but y'all women are just too crazy for a simple guy like me.

    I'd give up women iffin' I'd hadn't yet started with 'em.

  20. well, see then? it's proof that we chicks are NOT all the same! :)