I am getting depressed. I feel like my life so far has been an unsuccessful waste. I feel like I am on an endless track, trying to make money, just to stave off debt for another day. I notice people around me with really nice musical gear, nice cars, nice houses, nice electronics, etc... I would like all these things, but I know that it wouldn't make me happy having them, but it makes me a bit frustrated that it seems so easy for everyone else. Right now, I live in a manufactured home. It was inexpensive and a temporary option for me being newly married. It's been almost 3 years, and I am no closer to getting a real house than I was when I paid this place off. I work at Domino's Pizza in town, and it's a depressing job. The ownership underpays us for the dangerous neighborhoods that we have to go in and increasing fuel/vehicle maintenance costs. My other job, being an independent contractor has been choppy and somewhat unpredictable. It pays well, but work is not stable enough to rely on it completely. Another thing, I have owned the same vehicle since I was able to drive. It's a rusty 85 ranger, that I do like. It runs well (due to my diligent maintenance), but it looks like a piece of junk. I have been bidding jobs for my second job, and it is hard to seem professional when my vehicle looks like it's been to hell and back. I recently also had to buy a new car for my wife, due to the death of the suspension system on our previous car. This will be her third car since I have known her. Not too long ago, someone backed into it, gave me bogus info, and then disappeared. Then, the next day, my wife backed it into her fathers car, and scratched it up more. I was able to refinish it to make the damage nearly un-noticeable, but after only having the car for 2-3 months, it pisses me off to have to do stuff like that. Also, my laptop which I used for running the other job died, and I have not been able to find an affordable replacement at all. A friend of mine came across a good deal on a laptop, but he's probably going to keep it for his internet business he's running. I do not want to borrow a computer to run a business, especially due to the spotty nature of being able to use it. I have a desktop, but it is nearly impossible to use it with my business partners computer. Having to drive across town with a USB disk over and over is not the way to run things. It gets very costly. A lot of bids that we have gotten in, we haven't gotten. And that is just wasted time. We don't get paid for them, and with some of the kitchen remodels, we spend 2 days or so designing cabinet layouts and such, all for nothing. My musical career is also hitting skids. I have no inspiration to practice, nor any inspiration to write. I have always wanted to create music, but it seems so pointless at this point. I play in church on the weekends, and it is fun and fulfilling, but I want to do more musically. I have a general motivation problem. It is difficult for me to start and stick with things. Cleaning out my computer room puttered out. My plan to get fit puttered out. Plans to do home maintenance seem as if they are not worth the trouble. I just get so discouraged by all the things that happen to knock me down. Any kind of goals I set usually just fade away because I never get there. I don't want to feel like this all the time. I'm sorry for the rant, but TB seems like one of the most understanding environments that I have right now.