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What am I doing wrong?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Trevorus, Apr 17, 2006.

  1. janek65


    Apr 7, 2005
    Do the best you can. No one else can do that for you. Keep pushing. If you get tired push some more. If you really think that is all you could to, still push yourself a bit more. Every day. Don't stop. It sounds crazy but it helps. Do it.
  2. dlloyd

    dlloyd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Apr 21, 2004
    Get up in the morning, have a shower.

    Go and do a job you don't hate to get enough money to look after yourself and family.

    Do stuff that makes you smile. Do stuff that makes your family smile.

    Accumulating possessions only makes you smile briefly.
  3. morf

    morf Inactive

    Feb 17, 2006
    I'll be quoting Bob Dylan here but:

    The line it is drawn
    The curse it is cast
    The slow one now
    Will later be fast
    As the present now
    Will later be past
    The order is
    Rapidly fadin'.
    And the first one now
    Will later be last
    For the times they are a-changin'.

    Cheer up :)
  4. I disagree. Making wrong or right decisions now won't affect what I'll be doing or who I'll be further on down the track; I don't believe it will.

    Perhaps it's the mentality of older people (I use the term loosely, of course - maybe I should say "an older generation") that deciding careers and futures, etc. should be done at a young age. To be quite honest, I can't see myself being able to make such an important and definitive decision now. Or perhaps I'm a little more free-spirited. I don't know.

    While I think it's a good idea to know what you would like to be doing for the rest of your life when you're younger, I don't think it's a good idea to definitely decide what to do.
  5. morf

    morf Inactive

    Feb 17, 2006
    Actually, it is. How do you suppose you'll achieve anything by not being sure of what you're doing? You have to find soemthing you like and stick to it, and that choice WILL undoubtedly decide who you will be. Making decisions sooner will give you much more choices in the end.
  6. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Well, at your age I disagreed too. Reread the first post of this thread, and how he is "stuck" at dominos/ When you start to incur responsibilities, it severely limits your abilities to just up and change your lifestyle, much less take off 4 years for your education at that point.
  7. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    Hang in there man, I'm pretty much in the same boat, except I'm not married. I graduated with a BS in Geography over a year ago and I find myself more and more debt every day because I don't have and haven't been able to find a "real" job. I feel like a lot of my resources are going to waste. I've cut back A LOT of expenses and still find myself in the same hole because of the lack of income. My current job is my part time job that I had throughout college and turned full time, but the work sucks, and the pay sucks for someone with student loans, rent, and credit card bills to pay off every month.

    I've got the interview thing down to a tee, but it's my lack of "experience" that turns off potential employers. How in the heck to I get experience if nobody wants to hire?

    It's definitely frustrating. I know exactly how you feel.
  8. Bob Lee (QSC)

    Bob Lee (QSC) In case you missed it, I work for QSC Audio! Commercial User

    Jul 3, 2001
    Costa Mesa, Calif.
    Technical Communications Developer, QSC Audio
    Hey trev,

    How are your electronics chops now? Are there any electronics companies, including audio, nearby, or within a reasonable move? Manufacturers will often hire you even if you don't have a degree, if you have some good chops and interest. And some of them will help you with school, too.
  9. ahaTFJ

    ahaTFJ Guest

    Apr 2, 2006
  10. personal suggestion is to find a labouring job. A weld shop or something where there is some trade you can learn. It maight be a job you get stuck with and hate, but it likely pays better then the job you have now and hate
  11. tplyons


    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    Excellent advice!

    And eat generic food for a while. It may not taste as good, but throw the savings in a box and buy yourself a new laptop after a while. They're getting more and more reasonable. If you can manage to save $20 a week, you can have a new laptop in 6 months. Save $40 a week and you'll have it in three months.

    Figure out where you're spending unnecessary money, make a budget if you have to. Figure out where you're spending money that you really don't need to. Hell, switch to Hartke strings for a while to save a few bucks. Nobody in the audience can tell ;)
  12. Bryan_G


    Apr 28, 2000
    Austin, Texas
    I just turned 22 so I'm not going to even begin to claim that I have it all figured out. I am just in a different place than you and wanted to share my perspective.

    I am a senior in college getting a degree in a technical field, computer science, from a decent school. Right now I am working for Hewlett Packard as a co-op getting real work experience doing real engineering work. They pay me very well for where I am in life, and they will pay me very well for where I will be in life if I work for them when I graduate. This is of course all dependent on me not screwing it up. I have nice things and I manage to put back about %50 of my pay each month.

    So great right? Well I'm painfully single(reason I've got cash to spare :D ), and miserable for the most part. I drag myself out of bed each day, and even though I don't mind my work, I wonder what I am doing. I feel like my life has just been a big waste. Sound familiar? So right now I agree with Mike, but I know in the future Munji will turn out to be right. I know that working hard right now will pay off in the future. I have had to make sacrifices to get to where I am. I may not have to do without food or basses, but I have no social life. I have spent most of my time with school and work. So just realize that you aren't the only one who feels like you do. I would rather be poor and be able to wake up with a smile than continue in my current path and in five years wake up single and dragging myself out of bed each day.

    So I really have no advice on happiness, but here is my take on the finances. First the pizza gig is a dead end. You might end up store manager in 10 years and make $15/h, or you might end up dead. So drop it. Look for a job that has the possibility of improvement. Look for small business that will reward hard work, and then work hard.

    I think self employment is great. My parents own their own business, and it seems to be working for them. But if you can't afford to put everything you have into it, maybe you should look for work in the same field under someone else. My dad is a contractor and is always looking for dedicated hard workers. They are harder to find than you might imagine. Just showing up, working hard, and being honest counts for a lot in that field. As for the truck and not looking professional, well show up to do the bid in you wifes car. Then when you are there for the actual work use your truck.

    If you don't think contracting is what you want to be doing for the rest of your life, start doing something else. Start putting in your applications and pushing for the job, HARD. Don't let up! Let them know that even though you might not have experience or a degree you will put in more effort and try harder than anyone else. Then do it. My friend just got a job doing what he has always wanted to do, video game development. Guess what? No Degree! The video game industry is a very selective industry often times not only requiring a degree but a credit on at least 2 different games. He would program from the time he got home from work until 1:00am every night. Then he put in his application everywhere. He got turned down several times, even once from the place he works now. He kept at it and it eventual paid off. I admire him and his enthusiasm, and I know that is what it takes to make it.

    So hang in there and start going after what you want. Even if you don't get it, just persuing the goal will make life better.

  13. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Dude, if you think life sucks now, wait until you have all this, PLUS a bitchy wife.
  14. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Dude. You are SO cynical. Right on!
  15. ryco


    Apr 24, 2005
    Here's the song Munji sings to me when ever I'm feeling a little blue:

    Bloody Mary:
    Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
    Talk about things you'd like to do.
    You got to have a dream,
    If you don't have a dream,
    How you gonna have a dream come true?

    Talk about the moon floatin' in the sky
    Lookin' at a lily on the lake;
    Talk about a bird learnin' how to fly.
    Makin' all the music he can make.

    Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
    Talk about things you'd like to do.
    You got to have a dream,
    If you don't have a dream,
    How you gonna have a dream come true?

    Talk about the sparrow lookin' like a toy
    Pickin' through the broaches of a tree;
    Talk about the girl, talk about the boy
    Countin' all the ripples on the sea.

    Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
    Talk about things you'd like to do.
    You got to have a dream,
    If you don't have a dream
    How you gonna have a dream come true?

    Talk about the boy sayin' to the girl:
    "Golly, baby, I'm a lucky cause."
    Talk about the girl sayin' to the boy:
    "You an' me is lucky to be us!"

    Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
    Talk about things you'd like to do.
    You got to have a dream,
    If you don't have a dream
    How you gonna have a dream come true?

    If you don't talk happy,
    And you never have dream,
    Then you'll never have a dream come true!

    It's good idea, you like?

    And from me: remember - you have everything you need to start with nothing. peace -Ryco
  16. That's fair enough. Not having any responsibilities other than myself skewers my perception somewhat. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

    And I'm not saying that tongue-in-cheek, either. I mean it.
  17. simpy1


    Mar 31, 2005
    New Zealand
    As a good friend often says:

    "It could be worse - you could have your face eaten off by a bear."

    It's true.

    One thing that made me happy in my "dry spell" last year (no girlfriend) was getting fit. The first week was the hardest, but after that I felt so great I had no need to stop. When your body feels great, your mind follows. You mentioned motivation - if you do weights mainly, the weights will make you look good in the mirror, and that is motivation! A starting point can just be pushups before bed (or when you wake up). You'd be surprised what 3 x 25 pushups a night can achieve. You can have a MANLY CHEST!

    Another thing to try is a sort of schedule. It sounds boring, but just at the start of the week set aside some time to do things like go for a run, play some bass, write a song etc. Leave all your friends' requests alone, and spend time on yourself.

    And something cheap and very, VERY worthwhile: Spend some time with your wife. Surprise her. Get some nice portable food (nice cheese/crackers, gourmet soup, sandwiches, chocolate and wine) and get in the car, and drive to somewhere nice. Have a picnic (if it's raining just put the front seats forward and sit in the back of the car). Try to see how awesome it is to have someone always by your side. The main point out of this is that making other people happy makes YOU feel happy. It never fails. Giving gifts (not expensive ones, meaningful ones) is about as rewarding as things get.
  18. Yvon

    Yvon Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2000
    Montreal, Canada
    I don't have anything constructive for you, but...

    I didn't have it easy either, working crappy jobs for 8$ an hour, play with old and bad gear, old computer (pentium 100).
    Then everthing fall into places very fast. Got promoted, then promoted etc...
    Bought a house.
    Now I am not rich by no means. But if I save a little I can buy almost everything I want.

    I never wanted or dreamed to be rich. I just wanted to be in a position where i don't have to wait for thursday to go do my groceries. And I am there right now.

    There is absolutly nothing bad trying to get a better life. Work hard on your goal and it will work.
  19. Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    My sophomore year in college I got incredibly depressed. I was
    at an 'elite' school and found myself way over my head. I
    figured I would never graduate and never make anything of
    myself. I came very close to ending it all at that point.

    Sometimes when you look towards the future, you don't see
    the finish line. But life is like a marathon, the finish line is always
    there. And like a marathon, the accomplishment is not winning it,
    but not giving up and quitting. So you have to dig in deeper when
    you get to 'Heartbreak Hill'. Dig in dude, its all about the attitude.

    That year I saw a sign painted on a wall that has stayed with
    me ever since. I made it the cornerstone of my attitude and it
    has, more than anything contributed to my small successes.
    Let me share it with you now. Make it yours as well:

    'When the going gets tough, the tough get going.'

    Take care Trev.
  20. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Consider going to work for a contractor rather than trying to be an independent contractor. Your age, and perceived lack of experience, will work against you in getting jobs on your own. To be blunt, who's gonna hire a "kid" driving a beat to crap truck for a 5-figure kitchen remodel? Hone your skill with another contractor, then go out on your own. At your age, there are benefits to working for others.

    Your future is what you make of it.

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