What do I hate about girls?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Sheep Man, Sep 28, 2003.

  1. (Where's the "confused" smiley for the message icon when you need it?)

    Heh. Yeah, it's me again, talking about this again. :p Anyway, there's this one girl who lives down the hall from me and she is ridiculously cute. Her personality is amazing, too, which just makes her, to me, perhaps the cutest girl in the world.

    Needless to say, I have somewhat of a crush on her, and I'm getting similar vibes from her. However, she told me before I started crushing on her that she'd had some bad experiences with guys in the past, and was going to try and keep herself boyfriend-free for a year. This makes me sad, but at the same time she also said that it wasn't like she was swearing off of them, it's just that someone would have to be amazingly charming or whatever for her to even consider it.

    Well, from what I can see, and what my flatmates and some of her flatmates can see, I seem to be breaking through that all. But at the same time, sometimes I also get the feeling that she's really serious about this "no boyfriend" thing, which just confuses me to no end. My roommate from last year is telling me I should just go for it and ask her out on a date some time soon, but the main reason why I really haven't is because of these strong mixed signals I'm getting.

    Does anyone have any advice for me this time?
  2. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Stop riding that sheep.
  3. Couldn't agree more. I mean if she sees you and the sheep there is no chance :)
  4. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
  5. LoJoe


    Sep 5, 2002
    Concord, NC USA.
    Speaking as an old dog who has been walked around the block a few times, here is my take. Girls/Women take that stance to kind of setup some boundaries in advance, kind of a safety zone if you will. They've been burned by our species recently and they are still hurting from it. Taking this approach allows them to keep you at a safe distance and put things at a screeching halt without prior warning. That wall is not indestructible however. The secret is time and patience. You've got to decide if she is worth the chase and the wait. Here's a little story. About 8 years ago I met this really great lady. She had just gone through a nasty divorce. When I first expressed an interest in her, she told me that she had no interest in a steady boyfriend, was going to play the field and party like it's 1999. She was not going to get serious about any man "for a long long time". I said fine. So...still interested, I engaged her in "friend" things. Our first date, although she would not admit it was a date, was an afternoon of rollerskating. Surrounded by kids we laughed and laughed and I know she fell in love with me that very day, as I did with her. Over the coming weeks, we went hiking, we went biking. We walked and we talked. She talked about her emotional pain, I listened. She cried about the failure of her marriage, I put a comforting arm around her. Along the way that impenetrable wall of hers just fell apart. She had originally told me she planned to go out with at least 10 different guys a month. Somehow she just never got around to them though. Not a one. A year later she was my wife and now she is the mother of my two little girls. So...as I said before. It's a difficult road you are considering..but maybe she's worth it. On the other hand..you're still young. Just find yourself one with big hoots that likes to party! There's still plenty of time for all of that serious stuff later! :D
  6. Figjam


    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    Guess whos in a similiar dilema?

    *raises hand*

    This girl has been treated bad in past and is hesistant about meeting new guys. I met her 4 days ago. Thinking about aksing her out tom'w.
  7. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    She's probably trying to give you a hint, move on.
  8. JayAmel

    JayAmel Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 3, 2002
    Aurillac, France
    Any PICS ?

    Oh sorry, just an old reflex from the basses topic... :D
  9. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Be her good friend who's always there for her if you'd like to be there for her and let the rest work itself out.

    She knows what you think and in time it'll be clear when she's ready to go out.

  10. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Yeah, lay yourself out as a doormat for her to walk on whenever she feels like it, and torture you in the process, this always works :rolleyes:

    Yeah, it will be perfectly clear when she goes after some jerk, as you are "too good of a friend". People want what they can't have, not the ones that chase them around hoping and waiting, someday you will better understand when the tables are turned.

    Give it a quick shot, but don't get yourself too wrapped up into it, if it isn't going anywhere, move on.
  11. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002

    I would advise against this, having a hot friend, who you are really close friends with is difficult, especially if you ever want something more with her, chances are she will get so used to you being there for her and being her friend that she will feel weird going out with you, it would be like going out with her brother.
  12. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Its almost always worked for me but I guess thats not the way it works for everyone else.

    Maybe you guys didnt make it clear to these girls that you did like them while you were friends or something but its almost always worked out fine for me.

  13. Justin V

    Justin V

    Dec 27, 2000
    Alameda, CA
    Ok, I'm in a very similar situation. Only with mine, the girl is 300 miles south of me and we've been friends since 4th grade. The thing is, we hardly saw eachother throughout high school (we went to different schools), so we never talked a lot until late senior year. She's told me "you're like a brother" line a couple of times when we were joking around. The thing is, she's perfect for me in so many ways it's almost scary (we're both a little on the nutty side when we want to be). Also, she's really hot!!! I just never noticed it till high school.

    Now, Sheepy, I don't know the specifics of your situation, but trust me, if it goes down that whole "really close friends" route and you still want something more with her, you have to be REALLY careful so as not to screw up both your friendship and any chance you may have with her.

    Bassically what I'm sayin' is: Don't make my eternally repeated mistake. Ask her out quick before some other guy does.
  14. Prime Mover

    Prime Mover

    Feb 16, 2003
    TN, USA
    Respect her wishes. Be her friend. In the long run she will respect you more for respecting her wishes....

    Do you hear that?

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T...just a little bit....

    sorry...couldn't help that one :meh:
  15. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Mr. Cole seems to have had a similar experience to most of my single years.:spit:

    Eventually things got better. Out of 14 real girlfriends in my life (more than say 3 or 4 months) a whole two of them were not crazy. Yup only two sane girls for Wayne. And that is a LIFETIME total.

    Fortunately the one I married is one of the sane ones.
  16. thrash_jazz


    Jan 11, 2002
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Artist: JAF Basses, Circle K Strings
    I'd say be there as a friend but don't push for anything else yet. Make sure she knows, so that if she changes her mind (and this WILL eventually happen), you'll be the first to come to mind.

    In the meantime, don't wait. If you do wait and nothing comes of it, you'll be kicking yourself over that wasted time.
  17. Exactly when will this year be up? ;)

    Sheepy, in the end, do what you feel you should.

    Very nice story, LoJoe. :)

  18. If the sleepiness has completely left my mind by now (which it really hasn't) and I can think straight, then it should be in about 6 - 8 months.
  19. Offer to buy-out the other half of the year, and take her out. ;)

    Seriously, do what YOU feel you should.

    Good luck, man.

    Mike ;)